Physically attractive, but socially isolated by hyper-religious parents all of high school, weak social skills

Schhwing · 2020-11-04T22:28:32+00:00

You’re probably in the “pain period” where you have to confront a few lacking skills. My advice for you is exposure. You’re good looking so that will give you an in with most people, so just go from there. Socialising is a natural process so you will pick it up. Everyone has quirks, that’s what makes them interesting.

As for women (and this might sound a little fairyish), what do they inspire out of you? I behave differently with different girls because they each inspire a different part of me. So impulses will come up and I just honour those. If you feel like having fun, teasing her, touching her, connecting, do it.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2020-11-05T02:04:09+00:00

Missed out in the whole sex thing in high school

Oh well. Join the club. At least you didn't get HPV or the herp or get chumped in by some borderline arm- cutting screamer.

because my parents had a mental disability that caused them to think the world was ending any day now, no joke, so they socially isolated me for about 7 years.

OK I take that last part back. Your parents were the arm-cutting screamers.

Need to be careful not to confuse obvious metaphors (the end of the fucking world) with the reality it represents (multilateral nuclear Holocaust of your own social life.)

Moved out, got a good job, but it’s VERY isolated (just me in the building after COVID)

Look for a new job unless the pay is good. Take a public speaking class. Maybe next spring.

now I find myself fantasizing about sex and hot girls all day long, compulsively, and I feel like an addict. I have a LTR girlfriend but she just doesn’t scratch the itch.

How so? Is she turning you down frequently? Why don't you take some of that nervous horny energy and start actually fucking her good and make her submit to you and turn herself into your fuckdoll.

I'm just saying.

This sounds a lot like you trying to sabotage yourself socially and isolate yourself, by torpedoing your LTR. Just like your parents torpedoed their own social lives.

I get followers on social media by posting pics of myself but they are almost all women from across the country or overseas,

Social media are video games geared at women's typical goals and archetypes. Just like fantasy RPG's for boys, it's all about wish-fulfillment with zero genuine risk and minimal effort.

Why are you playing girl's video games?

I mean, that's fine if you do ocassionally. We've all got low key vices. but the issue seems to be you think it's for real and not just a role playing fantasy. Again, your parents had a hard time distinguishing reality from fantasies on the internet, themselves so that's not surprising.

and after a while just pics of yourself without any friends starts to look sad.

Who gives a shit what your character looks like in a video game?

Don’t want to do tinder because I don’t want the handicap,

Also maybe not a great idea to blow up your main source of social interaction in your life, right now. Just saying.

My best asset is my appearance, I got lucky there, I’ve been “recruited” before in public, but I have no knowledge on any way to capitalize on my looks. Even making new friends can be a struggle (not knowing what to say,

Your overall frame and attitude > your phrasing, tone, and body language > anything you actually say.

Fix your frame.

the awkward pauses,

Who cares? You're not other people's dancing monkey. Why aren't you getting them to say things you want to hear and do things you find interesting.

accidentally saying cringey things.

Nobody cares what you actually say. Fix your frame. "Pause for laughter."

I see women in public but have 0 clue on how to interact with them socially.

Why aren't you getting them to tell you things you want to hear. You're the prize here, not them.

but that is super rare, I don’t know if it’s because they’re intimidated or if they can tell I’m depressed.

Any reasonably attractive woman your age bracket gets hit on on a weekly basis if not daily. Not to mention the godless hordes of thirsty simps online orbiting around their instacrack page. Why the hell would they?

The most I get is brief eye-contact, and the occasional wave.

"You call that a wave? Looks like you're trying to do a Jedi mind trick.'

but a lot of the time they also purposely look away in passing,

Generally if they look to the side it's an indication of disinterest. If they smile and/or look down at their feet that's a submissive gesture and a pretty good I.O.I.

chazthundergut · 2020-11-05T01:18:17+00:00

I'd start by socializing, but not with girls at first

dolmino91 · 2020-11-05T02:59:28+00:00

You have a low SMV, and your physical appearance accounts very small in that.

Women want a man, not a boy who looks like a girl. They go by feeling not how you look.

I think you should seek out counselling.

BavarianAlpha97 · 2020-11-04T22:09:58+00:00

Same problem here

Thinkingard · 2020-11-05T01:57:36+00:00

Weak social skills? All you need to do is read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. The book is full of timeless principles. Since you aren't an incel, you should already know that girls aren't going to solve your insecurities. You could get a new job, something in sales, just to learn that social skills are overrated, especially if you are naturally suited for independent work and hobbies. You could also benefit by having one friend who is super social and tag along when they have parties or get-togethers.

Th0tPol1ce · 2020-11-05T03:33:47+00:00

You're a lot like me, only people say my face looks like a rapist's mugshot all the time (i.e. not a dreamboat). I'd say you need to stay away from the porn. Try semen retention for a while (there's a sub for it), just to stop being obsessed with sex. Take a break from it all. And while you're doing that, just casually socialize, and learn how to get good with people, without sex as the goal.

I may get some shit for it here, but it's my opinion that porn can actually mess up your mind. Like to the extent where what I just described above is worth it. However nofap and pornfree subs are really gay. NoFap is a bunch of Indian middle schoolers posting memes, and PF is just a big circlejerk of bluepilled beta males "stepping up".... "for her".

As for the religious upbringing you describe, don't let your life be defined by it. And what I mean is a lot of people like us go into full anti- mode at first, once we shake off the yoke of those who impose strict standards to make up for their own inner fears. But that's still living life defined by your parents, like a photo negative is still defined by the image. They might be mentally ill fundie nuts (mine were). But God does exist. Not preaching, just saying don't go full Richard Dawkins quite yet.

You being attractive, you are 100% capable of slaying pussy left and right. I think at first a lot of people in this situation, trying to make up for lost time, emphasize quantity over quality just to prove a point. Live the lifestyle that is the most meaningful for you. Who fucking cares what anyone thinks.

As for the world ending, I think that will be awhile. I'd imagine China being involved. And the Jews, of course.

good luck

Joe_Doblow · 2020-11-04T23:31:57+00:00

Trial and error my friend trial and error

distraff · 2020-11-05T00:33:30+00:00

Have you tried doing more social activities and slowly getting more social as this pandemic winds down?

PB0034 · 2020-11-05T04:15:22+00:00

I would start by changing the username and tackling those issues why u made that username. You know em in the back of your head. Just gotta confront them.

Good luck!

WearWorking · 2020-11-05T04:33:58+00:00

You just go up and say hi, introduce yourself, tell her she's cute, ask her if she's from around here, share a little about yourself (if she asks or not), ask her to get drinks.

Cold approach is not more difficult than the above sentence. Guys who think it is fall into 3 categories... 1. they're selling something, 2. they're LARPing, 3. they're legitimate incels.

Game is about quantity + forwardness. The rest is over-optimization.

Sin-Silver · 2020-11-05T08:22:14+00:00

Making friends, developing friendships and sexual relationships are is first and foremost skills in their own right. You up bringing, which is no fault of your own, hasn't allowed you to develop your skills to the same level as other people your age.

Thankfully, nothing is stopping you from developing these skills now.

"Even making new friends can be a struggle."

As someone who has been in your situation before, I'd focus more on learning how to make proper friends, before you learn how to have a sexual relationship with women. You can't run before you walk, and you can't develop a sexual relationship with a girl before you develop a proper relationship/friendship with a normal person.

My big advice to you is to focus now on meeting people of similar age and interests where you can make friends and learn how to develop connections with another human being.

Ill_mumble_that · 2020-11-05T09:27:45+00:00

Doomsday cult.
No social skills.
I'm horny as fuck.
My LTR doesn't scratch my sexual itch.

Ah, so an Ex Jehovah's Witness. My condolences. Does your family shun you for being an apostate? It's a fucked up way to grow up.
LTR is a fat chick. Confirmed. You want someone hotter. Why not dump her then? Are you dependent on her? Tried 3somes yet?

Vypersnake · 2020-11-05T09:58:29+00:00

How much of the side bar have you read? How is your gym routine going?

Mahomesp · 2020-11-05T16:13:14+00:00

What nationality/ethnicity are you?

Title	Physically attractive, but socially isolated by hyper-religious parents all of high school, weak social skills
Author	ImProcrastinating3
Upvotes	38
Comments	23
Date	November 4, 2020 10:02 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/jo60kf/physically_attractive_but_socially_isolated_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/physically-attractive-but-socially-isolated-by.324869 https://theredarchive.com/post/324869

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