Just stumbled upon this sub recently and boy... it really opened my eyes.

When I was in my early 20s I was working for a moving company. The job was tiring, but you meet a lot of people and hear some amazing stories. Most of them were military people, so a lot of the stories were about military experiences. But this one story I can't get out of my head, I didn't realize the gravity of the good advice until now.

This story comes from a lady in her mid 40s. Single, happy flourishing in her career. I was going through a rough patch with my boyfriend at the time and she could tell it was affecting my work. So instead of putting me down or complaining to my manager she instead took me to lunch and gave me some of the best advice I'd ever heard.

She told me, "don't ever let a man get a negative reaction out of you." Pretty cut and dry right? But she continued, saying that effort goes both ways. If a man wants you to be somewhere, have him drive you. If a man wants you to call at a certain time, he better be paying the bill. At the time I thought this advice was a little callous. But looking back, it was some of the best advice I was ever given. I've avoided so many of the "no effort" types. I feel it may have saved me from a lot of grief and nonsense.

I go to therapy for an unrelated reason, but my therapist has always told me most of his advice is not from his own brain, but stuff he's learned from others. So I hope this helps you in some way.