[29F] Keep chasing that spark all the way into spinsterhood.

Sensei_Hensei · 2020-01-14T12:09:24+00:00

In a man's mind it's you didn't like me..we didn't click so no harm no foul.

In a woman's mind it's how dare he not let me use him for attention even though I know good and well that nothing will ever happen between us.

Typo-MAGAshiv · 2020-01-14T12:29:51+00:00

"On our third date, I realized I wasn't attracted to him physically..." - if it had been physically based, you would have figured that out at a glance. This illustrates a) women's attraction is based more on behavior and social cues (ie preselection), and b) even when they're not attracted to you, they'll use you for free meals and attention/validation.

Falln2pieces · 2020-01-14T12:59:46+00:00

Women- "Omgz, there is no such thing as friend zone. You angry I no have sex with you"

Women in their own words "so, I purposely friend zoned this guy cause he didn't beat the crap out of me and throw me out of a moving car on our first date".

pablosito · 2020-01-14T13:04:37+00:00

I find it strange how people will go on dates with someone, reject them and be surprised when they “disappear”. You made it clear you’re not in to what They’re offering. People can become friends after failed dates it’s happened to me. But if that isn’t what happens it doesn’t make the guy (or occasionally girl) a bad person just means they’re not in to what YOURE offering. Funny.

goodmansaysfuckyou · 2020-01-14T12:08:32+00:00

Translation

I am looking for alpha bux.

You've got to be xxx tall and a bad boi to ride this ride. The first time the dude opened the door for her...it was over.

RegRobillard · 2020-01-14T12:23:05+00:00

The female commenter gave some remarkably salient advice. Though I am dubious of the longevity of "attraction grows over time" relationships. I would not be surprised that they are especially vulnerable if the girlfriend walks into tall grass and a wild Chad appears

ThaHentaiConnoisseur · 2020-01-14T13:47:24+00:00

"ThErE wAsN't AnY sPaRkS" - typical NPC dialogue. The only sPaRk you'll get is when your bad boy fuck buddy sparks your jaw and you come crying to reddit about how there's No GoOd MeN. And you don't deserve anything in life. It's earned.

HardEarnedVictory · 2020-01-14T12:10:04+00:00

Guy-in-the-know spots every red flag and gracefully disappears into thin air before he even catches a whiff of the cum-stained public urinal between her legs.

Ok, this man is definitely knowledgeable to the wiley ways of the wahmen. Fess up, which one of you gentlemen here was that?

I'd like to shake your hand.

loneliness-inc · 2020-01-14T21:42:28+00:00

Gentlemen,

On first glance it may seem that this unsolved puzzle is an issue for this particular woman. On second glance it may seem that this is an issue for the specific women who are featured here who have this particular problem. Surely it can't be an issue with female sexuality itself, right?

The ever optimistic male mind with an out group bias in favor of women. The male psyche that's designed to selflessly protect the damsels in distress, refuses to accept that this problem is an issue with female sexuality itself. Surely it's only an issue for these women, for whom this problem is undeniable.

Gentlemen. I propose to you the argument that this is indeed an issue with the very nature of female sexuality itself! This isn't just a one of case of a woman who has bad luck with men not is this a problem only for a few dozen women who are featured here. Rather, this is a problem with female sexuality itself.

Because the very character traits that make a man sexually exciting are the very character traits that make him an unstable partner (in its many manifestations). The very character traits that make a man a good husband and family man, are the very character traits that make him sexually boring.

Here's the clincher: these character traits are opposite to each other!

To understand exactly what these character traits are and how they oppose each other etc. Please check out this WAATGM classic: The warm home analogy.

CarlSpacler · 2020-01-14T14:07:46+00:00

If he talked down to her and hit her she would already be pregnant

cath8r · 2020-01-14T12:25:30+00:00

"We hit it off".... isn't that a spark? Ya..... appears he wasn't 'fuck boy' enough.....

chalulin · 2020-01-14T14:15:27+00:00

Note to self: treat women like crap during dates.

thenotoriousdougie · 2020-01-14T13:17:10+00:00

“I shouldn’t have to” is the calling card of someone who will never be pleased no matter what. 10 years from now she will still be on Tinder looking for that unicorn who will treat her “well” while beating the shit out of her and choking her out with a belt while he cums in her ass.

The very last thing you want to do when dealing with women you want to fuck is show them one ounce of “respect” or “kindness”. Unfortunately if you give them what they “deserve” and in most cases want, you’re setting yourself to be blackmailed or sent to prison.

silly_birb · 2020-01-14T14:31:15+00:00

Meanwhile if a man doesn't fuck an old landwhale he's considered a misogynist...

SomeSqueakyCleanButt · 2020-01-14T15:24:37+00:00

Of course he disappeared. If she's not interested in a sexual relationship what is the fucking point of sticking around? Have you ever actually hung out with a female friend? It's the worst. They're all so fucking boring and vapid it's amazing they can even stand themselves.

Aldabruzzo · 2020-01-14T18:07:46+00:00

It's perfectly fine for a woman to refuse to date a man she's not sexually attracted to . In fact, women should NOT date men they don't want to fuck. Attraction matters. Attraction needs to be there, if not right away, then very, very soon, like within 3 dates. Three dates is more than enough time for a woman to figure out whether she wants to fuck a guy. If it is not there in 3 dates, it's not ever going to be there.

This woman was right to let this guy down and not date him anymore. She doesn't have to date guys she doesn't want to fuck, and she shouldn't. A woman dating guys she's not attracted to, thinking that lack of attraction doesn't matter, or the attraction will come later, is a disaster. It doesn't work, and I don't care what anyone else says.

This man was right and well within his rights to disappear and not contact her again. Once a woman makes it clear you're not going to get what you want from her, or she doesn't want to give it to you, or she doesn't like you in that way, you cut her loose and disappear from her life completely. No friends. No favors. No contact, no texting, no phone calls, no nothing. Nothing that could be construed as any kind of attention or anything that makes it appear that she matters to you.

Here's where the problems are:

1) Women do not "deserve" anything, other than what men decide they deserve. A woman does not "deserve" to be with someone who treats her well AND to whom she's attracted, unless a man who treats her well and to whom she's attracted decides to be with her.

Women do not decide what they "Deserve" in the dating/sex market. Men, not women, decide that. So if she, like a majority of women out there, cannot get hot guys who treat them well, then they don't deserve that. Men individually and collectively have decided they don't deserve that.

She was right to cut the guy loose. No, it wouldn't have developed later. If she knew she was not attracted to him, that was not going to change.

2) The comment is wrong in telling the OP woman that she should date men she's not attracted to in the hopes that attraction will develop over time. No. NO NO NO NO NO. That's where our current frivorce/Divorce Rape epidemic is coming from. It's coming from women marrying men like this - men they were just kind of "meh" about, men they weren't attracted to at first, men they claimed to be attracted to after 6 months of dating (and making the guy wait for months for sex). The attraction isn't enough to sustain them through hard times. So, after 10 years and 2 kids, she decides she's unhaaaaaappy or that he is "abusive", and divorce rapes this hapless guy.

This commenter will marry that boyfriend, then years later deem him abusive or herself unhaaaappy, and then divorce rape him.

The moral of the story: If a woman will not fuck you in 3 dates, she's not attracted to you. Move on.

If a woman is lying to you she's "not looking for anything serious" (meaning: I am not sexually attracted to you. I do not want to fuck you, not now, not ever, you and me in bed is NEVER EVER happening), you end the date, delete her contact info, disappear, and never contact her again.

DO NOT keep going, thinking that someday she will want something serious.

DO NOT take her on another date. DO NOT spend one more dime or minute on her. DO NOT be her "friend", do not mention friends is OK, do not say anything other than "OK". And then disappear.

DO NOT take it personally. It happens. You're not every girl's cup of tea. Some girls will like you. Most will not. Some will think they like you and then decide they don't. She gets at most 3 dates to make that call. If she still hasn't figured it out, the answer's "NO", and you make that call for her, and cut her loose.

The attraction will not grow and develop. If it's not there at the very beginning, it is never going to be there. Time spent together will not create it. Common interests or life approaches or belief systems will not create it. NOTHING will create it. It's either there or it isn't. If it isn't there, nothing you say or do will change that.

DO not listen to women about this. They don't know what they're talking about on this. They don't. The commenter replying to the OP has hamsterized herself into believing she's attracted to her tiny eared, manlet boyfriend, when she really isn't. $he i$ with Little Ear$ for rea$on$ other than $exual attraction - he'$ probably her Toyota Corolla/Beta $$$. He's "very nice and respectful", meaning that she can use, exploit, control, and manipulate him. THAT is why she's with him. Not because she wants to fuck him.

She DOES NOT want to fuck him, despite anything else she says. The best thing she says about him is that he's "just part of your life you enjoy". Well, shit. My car is part of my life I enjoy. My house is part of my life I enjoy. My hobbies are part of my life I enjoy. But I control and use them to my benefit. They exist solely to serve me. Similarly, Tiny Little Ears is there solely to serve the commenter. He's just a bit player in the Drama That Is Her Life.

Notice what the commenter DOES NOT say about Tiny Little Ears. She does not say he's sexy, or that she's sexually attracted to him, or that the sex is good, or even that they have had sex. She does not say she wants to fuck him. She does not say she loves or cares about him. In fact, she made him wait 3 months before she was willing to do anything with this guy (assuming she ever has done anything with this guy).

That's another thing: When a woman is talking to you about "I don't want anything serious right now" or "I don't want anything super serious" and then puts a time limit on it, the woman you're dealing with has you pegged as a beta bux. You're probably dealing with a FemaleDatingStrategist who intends to use, exploit and take advantage of you, making you invest and commit while she fucks Chads on the side.

Think about this, gents. Think. Read carefully. Pay close attention to what these girls are saying here.

Domebeers · 2020-01-14T16:19:11+00:00

she's mad he didn't orbit lol.

Actually because he didn't orbit not he's on her mind. "Am I not hot anymore?"

houseoftolstoy · 2020-01-14T16:25:40+00:00

I deserve to be with someone who treats me well AND to whom i'm attracted to

I deserve = I want, when you translate from hamster to English. It is not so much a problem of what she wants, but her expectations. Is she willing to accept that if she holds on to this standard, she may end up alone? I doubt that she would actually accept that outcome, and complain that it is not fair that she cannot get what she wants.

Women just like her will tell men that we are not entitled to having a woman sexually interested in them, but will see no inconsistency with their own demands in getting a man who is sexually attractive interested in them. You can only reach this sort of conclusion through a concept that we have come to understand well: projection.

Azuzu88 · 2020-01-14T17:33:07+00:00

Let's face it, she's just upset that the guy ghosted her once she showed her hand. She was hoping he would stick around and beg for dates whilst she fucks whomever she wants.

otakuzod · 2020-01-14T21:38:39+00:00

The guy played it magnificently. The moment he was told she was not interested, he cut it off (disappeared.) No orbiting, no maybe-she-will-change-her-mind-down-the-line crap, no anger, he just nexted her.

askmrcia · 2020-01-14T19:15:31+00:00

Very first sentence she says her and the guy are compatible, then turns around and say there is no spark physically. So ofcourse she is trying to make herself sound nicer then what she really is. All she had to do is say she didn't find the guy physically attractive.

All that other nonsense about spark and her not looking for anything serious is complete BS. She lied and she tried to play victim to that sub.

You went on a few dates. How many is a few? 3? 4? It took you how many dates to find out he wasn't attractive? Let me ask that again. It took you 3+ dates to find out the wasn't attractive?

How many dates did that 40 year old STABLE man pay for? Bitch you lead him on and then you tried to lead him on more by placing him the friendzone. This is the type of stuff that aggravates men. The lies and always wanting to be victim.

Then turn around and say she deserves to be with someone who treats her well? Why do you deserve to be treated well when you use guys for free validation and dates?

Oh and then she LIED again. "I'm not looking for anything serious right now." Yea if that's the case then why did you go on MULTIPLE dates with the guy? Why didn't you just jump into his bed the first night? Why are even questioning that a relationship could have developed? You just said you weren't ready for anything serious.

Watch what they do and ignore what they say.

meerita · 2020-01-14T22:00:31+00:00

I will resume: she wants what all women wants: the chad who is pacified and lock up, in beta state. Something that is practically impossible.

Phinster1965 · 2020-01-14T16:03:06+00:00

The guy in this situation has two choices - be more of a North American Chad and treat her like the shitbag she is, or move on and find somebody who will appreciate that he is not a dickweed. Go Chad and get laid (not always a bad choice), but continue to be a decent person and you might find a woman who appreciates that quality. The only thing I'm sure of is that the clock is ticking for this broad, so she might want to figure out what kind of "spark" she's looking for.

geocorb · 2020-01-14T19:40:49+00:00

Keep chasing that alpha Chad queen. You’re going to end up a dried up alpha widow.

Imperator_Red · 2020-01-15T07:44:54+00:00

She “deserves.”

I feel I deserve a harem of 3 women who must be sexually loyal to me by law. My biology seems to be driving me towards this. Why should I deny my biology? It honestly just feels right guys. Like I would be so happy. They wouldn’t even all have to be 10s. If 1 was hot, 1 was cute, and 1 was just ok, I’d be totally cool with that! (not fat obviously but like if she had a busted face and decent body)

I’ve even tried having a soft harem but it just isn’t the same. So guys, why can’t I find a harem? Can any of you help me? Where have all the good women gone?

rvail136 · 2020-01-14T21:55:55+00:00

Well, when you're a shallow gal, used to riding the CC, you have to have the spark. You're not emotionally developed enough to understand what a real relationship is, and how much work they actually are. The responder was dead right. Real affection isn't a spark, its something that grows over time. That guy dodged a bullet on this one. Good for him.

psypD · 2020-01-14T22:14:09+00:00

This is of course the type of chick that will bitch and moan about men's "entitlement''.

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2020-01-15T00:33:56+00:00

29, that magic number right before a woman runs into The Wall. Only she doesn't see The Wall because she's too busy looking sideways for Chads.

DarthBroker · 2020-01-15T12:29:49+00:00

Basically, keep dating the guy, and eventually she will look past what she finds attractive and be able to be with him, but that is never the case.

NotLuceBree · 2020-01-15T15:53:18+00:00

But I shouldn't have to be put in a situation where I have to decide between physical attraction and decent behavior.

Oh REAAAALLY?

The sheer arrogance and entitlement in this statement.

This guy dodged not just a bullet, he's evaded the entire firing squad.

RRFdev · 2020-01-17T01:32:50+00:00

I deserve to be with someone who treats me well AND to whom I'm attracted.

Okay, here's the thing Stacy. This might be bleak and dark, but if he treats you well...he sees you as more attractive than himself.

If the table gets spinned and it is you who are attracted to him, he will not be treating you nicely.

Niceness is a reaction of people in the presence of those who are higher valuer than themselves. You can see this in politics, you can see this in relationships, you can even see this in the workplace too. Entry-level workers are treated like shit, but employers are careful with the tone of their voice and speak softly to the highly paid talented ones.

You are essentially asking for a pot of boiled water that is cold to the touch.

KazarakOfKar · 2020-01-15T01:35:35+00:00

This woman is permanently damaged, like a shelter dog that has known nothing but violence, so it only responds with violence. She will figure it out soon enough.

SavageMGTOW89 · 2020-01-15T05:09:36+00:00

Ah, the mythical “spark”. The calling card of the lifelong carousel rider and future spinster.

Atriplex124 · 2020-01-15T05:54:34+00:00

"I deserve" this word comes up often. Women are so different i never thought i deserved anything in life, i worked and i got what i needed.

Phinster1965 · 2020-01-14T21:27:48+00:00

I found a woman of quality, so it can happen! But first I found a lot of shallow skanks, so your point is well taken.

Title	[29F] Keep chasing that spark all the way into spinsterhood.
Author	kevin32
Upvotes	199
Comments	86
Date	January 14, 2020 11:53 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/eoka9k/29f_keep_chasing_that_spark_all_the_way_into/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/29f-keep-chasing-that-spark-all-the-way-into.342499 https://theredarchive.com/post/342499

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