Tingles vs security Indian women's eternal dilemma

KingOfPomerania · 2019-03-27T14:20:37+00:00

This seems to be more an issue for westernised Indian women. Here in the UK, I work with a fair number of Indian men and all but one has a traditional Indian wife. All of the husbands earn decent money but aren't exceptionally good looking, tall or charismatic and yet they do have very happy marriages. The one exception is the very obviously westernised Indian woman. Her marriage wasn't arranged and she seems to have married her husband purely because he was her only stable boyfriend. From what she has said, she ran back to him after being pumped and dumped by Indian chads who would never settle down with a dalit. She openly admits that she doesn't love him and has flirted with (and been shot down by) multiple men when her husband isn't around. Tells you all you need to know!

ogrilla99 · 2019-03-27T15:47:30+00:00

Many westernized Indian women pursue the worst of the dual mating strategy. While white women assume that there will be some 'nice guy' when they're 35 and ready to settle down, they at least recognize that they will need to do *some* work finding him. OTOH, Indian women assume they can get an arranged marriage i.e. their parents will find one for them once they're done fucking around and they haven't found someone themselves. It leads to the worst form of alpha fux / beta bux there is.

But it's even worse. Indians right now have the highest income level of any minority group (used to be Jewish, but Indians surpassed them a few years ago). Which means their entitlement is off the charts. They not just expect a doctor, they expect a surgeon, because half their male friends are doctors, so that's nothing special. And the other half? You can't just be a regular engineer, you have to work at Google or in some other way make 2-3x the average engineer for them to consider you an "average" dude.

So they expect that they can ride the CC all through their younger years, especially with white guys with an Indian fetish, and then, if they haven't found someone themselves, their parents will set them up with some surgeon or high-level engineer.

But here's the wrinkle they don't see: the same "independence" from cultural and family pressure that allows them to date and possibly marry white guys also allows Indian guys to do the same. And if you're a reasonably attractive Indian guy with some social skills and a decent job, you'll find lots of non-Indian women are attracted to your "exotic" looks. After all, in most other racial groups, the average guy is most definitely *not* a doctor or engineer.

Furthermore, this whole arranged-marriage-as-a-backup thing works better for guys than for women, because the ultimate backup is to marry someone from India. Which most guys have no problem with, because you can get a very high value woman in India, frequently someone raised with much better values than many Westernized women. OTOH, westernized women hate guys from the olde country because it ruins their status that they couldn't attract someone here, and b/c most Indian men don't put up with westernized women's shit.

I'm Indian, and of all my Indian male friends, their wives break down like this, in almost equal numbers: 1) Indian girls they met and dated in high school / college / grad school; 2) arranged marriages, 50/50 women from here and from India; 3) non-Indians. There's literally only one guy I know who met his wife in his later working years (i.e. late 20s) and who was an Indian from here (USA) and wasn't arranged.

Indian women don't realize that, at least from a beta bux standpoint, Indian men constitute a very high value group, and as the social pressures to choose Indian loosen on them as well, Indian women suddenly have a lot more competition for their beta bux backup plan.

Tookthemethpill · 2019-03-27T15:56:07+00:00

Been indian male raised in america my whole life and its a particular hell I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemies.

Although all these women are going for the alpha fux/beta bux strategy I do sympathize with them on the pressure from family.

Indians care about one thing and one thing only: social status.

My dad could have retired 10 years ago but he's spent millions on "nice cars" and other consumption patterns which have now caused him to be at the ripe age of 60 and stressed out about whether he will be able to keep his job with the impending recession looming.

Indian parents celebrate birth because they just created a new slave who will do everything they ask, regardless of wether you are male or female, because thats what they did when they grew up.

I was born to be a slave: a slave to my parents, a slave to my employer, a slave to my future wife, and a slave to the government. I was expected to make more slaves before I die.

I rejected that life.

moorekom · 2019-03-27T13:51:48+00:00

Gentlemen, what you see here is the beginning efforts of feminism/feminine imperative to subvert culture and to gain control over culture. Watch and learn to see how the society and their reputation in society is a dread in itself. Compare this with "Just be yourself" and "Follow your heart".

Edit: Refer to this comment to get a better idea of the context.

anyoneinamerica · 2019-03-27T13:51:39+00:00

This says it all:

The fear of 'what will people say' affects most of us. Maintaining a status in society, choosing a partner that matches our status is mostly driven by what will society think...

emphasis mine...

Just another superficial twat that is trying to get a leg up on the rest of the twats in the herd. Who cares if he is a good man that will treat you well, support you, and your kids; all that matters is will the other cunts in the herd be envious of me.

lorem6300118 · 2019-03-27T14:04:35+00:00

Society, including family, puts tremendous pressure on women to 'blank', hence, patriarchy.

samonsalman · 2019-03-27T16:29:47+00:00

Am South Asian. This isn't very new or uncommon. It's been this way for at least 2 generations.

Indian/Pakistani/Bengali women go for 'Love Marriage' where they find a guy for love. If not, they go for the money/green card/MD-etc.

Outside of South Asia, the girls *gun* hard for White guys. Then dating Indian guys are the fall back. Then getting arranged with $$$ Brown guys is the fall back to the fall back.

Guys know it. Girls know it. It's just the way it is.

Thing is, the guys have known about the situation for a while now, and aren't as attached to the idea of being fall backs any more. South Asians who've settled in America think without race in mind (maybe a good amount are anti- Black; South Asians who come from the motherlands do have a thing for white girls) and explicitly don't have a preference for their own females.

Funny thing was when OKtrends released a report on dating preferences and Indian guys on the site overwhelmingly preferred to ask out Hispanic females. That was really interesting!

Want to get a pretty South Asian girl? Be White, rich or a doctor.

But yeah, the South Asian female behavior/strategy has been documented and analyzed for a long time (20yrs? I'm from the older gen) and South Asian male behavior/strategy has evolved too. In general, (alert: broad statement incoming), we're not very idealistic as a people. We don't consider our women bad or evil. Maybe a tinge of disappointment here and there. But every brown guy I know and talked to, and my own experiences, we're not missing much.

We date for a connection or to have sex, depending on your priorities but hopefully both. Get educated or rich if we want a hot brown girl. etc. The situation is crystal clear.

Emervila · 2019-03-27T16:51:02+00:00

What is disgusting to me is this portrayed idea when a men provides stability then women can't have "passion" it's like it's impossible for women to have in one man both security and passion, big lies to justify being a thot. This woman is concerned about this dilemma at 31? seriously, so many years in the CC going nowhere but still having "doubts" about creating a family with a good man, she's not wife material.

Hoeing or not hoeing that is the question...

Westernhagen · 2019-03-27T14:39:33+00:00

ScoopWhoop talked to a bunch of marriage counselors, ~~to gain more insight into this dilemma and its impact on lives and relationships~~ to hear the very latest in useless, bluepill, gynocentric platitudes.

Fixed it for them.

2019-03-27T14:41:04+00:00

“We must dignify love and desire” - yea right, dignify tingles.

Spoil and entitle more women with seemingly endless male attention so they are unable to have proper relations with guys in their bracket. It’s a growing problem across the globe as societies atomize.

imdad_khan · 2019-03-27T14:49:44+00:00

The good thing is, so many of these types are “refusing to settle” that they will perish without breeding, and nature will take care of ending their bloodlines.

Their disease will (hopefully) die out with them.

DeeplyDisturbed1 · 2019-03-27T21:09:24+00:00

"Fucking whores and snorting coke off their asses VS being a responsible man and raising a good family: A Very Real Dilemma Many American Men Face"

WAH_FML · 2019-03-27T15:28:40+00:00

indian girls pretty much choose security every time. Good for the bottom line. Half a billion boring chicks nagging their husbands with bullshit.

houseoftolstoy · 2019-03-27T16:12:29+00:00

This reminds me of a post on another sub (don't remember where) that described an Indian woman who did the exact opposite of being a traditional Indian woman and had quite the wild college/post college experience. When she had decided to suddenly be traditional again, she had her parents arrange a marriage with a traditional Indian man. Little did her parents and husband know how promiscuous she was before deciding to settle down, and it bit her hard.

The point is, you cannot have it both ways. If you are going to follow tradition, it should be done from the start and not adopted at the last possible moment do that you can conveniently have it both ways. As a guy who is not Indian, I have little to say regarding arranged marriages. If you decide that the traditional marriage train is not for you, just don't expect to be able to get back on once it has left the station.

The dilemma of "passion vs security" is not one that is new, nor is it isolated to the Indian culture. The thing about "passion" is that the term conflates love in its definition when it is often paired with lust instead. So by chasing "passion," many of these women will not get the love they claim to want but rather something far more fleeting. There are women that are capable of differentiating love and lust, but with the way parents are failing to instill values and instead abdicate any teachings of morals to an increasingly degenerate culture, many young women are burning themselves by following their "passion" in the completely wrong way. Indian culture has mitigated this issue through arranged marriages, but outside influences are wearing away at that system.

We have those behind the sexual revolution to thank for poisoning the well, along with birth control. Those that supported and participated in diluting those values have caused much damage, as the replacement of values and morals with nothing is only eroding the stability of our society. I would not doubt that the current results were intentional rather than accidental, and the fact that it is infecting other parts of the world shows that is even more dangerous than we could have imagined.

SirKolbath · 2019-03-27T18:23:04+00:00

I wish I could recall where I read it, but one article said that Indian women who have their marriages arranged have a substantially— like 44% lower— likelihood of divorce.

This includes “westernized” ones who know about divorce as an option and simply don’t choose it. They report being happy in their marriages. The article was quick to point out that a woman who submits in the first place to an arranged marriage is unlikely to even consider divorce, hence that specific point.

Looks like parents just might know best.

I know that, for some reason, I’ve attracted a fair few Indian lasses and they’ve all been major sluts willing to do anything in bed, and each has also been harshly critical of Indian men as well.

Hillarysdilddo_2016 · 2019-03-28T12:36:26+00:00

Ah... India... Feminism's next target.

Whether a person chooses love or arranged marriage is entirely based on the conditioning they received in their childhood.

Wouldn't you know it. Shit culture says don't worry about marriage, just fuck all the chads. But then that pesky biological clock kicks in at 30 and all of a sudden now they are desperate to marry. But if they're given guidance and have a strong society then they will follow other rules that will lead to better outcomes.

"Most women do not like to take the risk of choosing a person as per their liking. They prefer to be in a comfort zone of security that is provided by an arranged marriage."

Given free reign women choose tingles. Women prefer guidance of a strong leader.

But, what happens when one can't find that satisfaction in a relationship, because of this constant feeling that they made a wrong decision in choosing their partner?

"There is a disconnect that takes place between the couple. The partner does not feel happy in this relationship and hence stays sad. The regret then takes a toll. The emotional turmoil makes it difficult to form trust and companionship with a partner. The memories of the past relationships create difficulty in forming a bond and bring in discomfort between the two."

There you have it. N > 0 means she will be damaged and you'll never satisfy her compared to her past.

Is love enough, then? We all need someone who's responsible - who makes us feel safe and secure, like we are not alone in whatever situation we are in.

Not stronk, independynt, don't-need-no-man yet.

We need to dignify ideas like desires, love, and compatibility as they are extremely crucial in making a marriage functional.

Let's just turn on tinder and manufacture thots.

A 180-degree transformation of things is in order

Yup. Let's burn to the ground our society by adopting western ideals. So we too can be relegated to the dustbin of history.

Throwaway17n10 · 2019-03-27T16:25:30+00:00

Is an Indian woman ever concerned that their arranged husband won't find HER appealing?

As a man, if I were entering an arranged marriage, I would be concerned about both issues: is she appealing to me; and am I appealing to her.

Revenant221 · 2019-03-28T01:27:45+00:00

They’re free to have the choice, they just can’t whine when that choice fucks them over

Blogginginvicecity · 2019-03-28T03:46:07+00:00

That's what every human faces everyday, LOL. Ignorant.

CiceroVoltaire · 2019-03-27T14:49:56+00:00

dual mating strategy?

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