I'm a strong and indypyndynt wymyn and refuse to cook for a man. Where are all the good male cooks?

sleepyweaselisawake · 2019-01-01T03:25:36+00:00

"Can you imagine a woman turning down an otherwise wonderful man upon learning that he would never prepare her a delicious dinner? Of course you can't."

As a matter of fact I can. In fact I can imagine thousands of arbitrary reasons a woman will pass on a man who doesn't meet her exhaustive criteria.

NickTesla2018 · 2019-01-01T03:08:26+00:00

Maybe it's just me, but I consider cooking a life skill, similar to being able to do laundry, living on a budget, keeping a clean home, etc. It's unreal how many single women I meet who don't cook. The ex of three years cooked once. Once! In three years?! So much money wasted on takeout. If a woman wants to make a good impression and keep a guy, fix him a decent meal. I'm not talking barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Cook once in awhile. It's not rocket science. Or at least make the effort. That goes a long ways too.

loneliness-inc · 2019-01-01T03:02:53+00:00

What's really bad is she doesn't cook for her own child.

[I'm] a good kisser.

HAHAHAHAHAHA, GTFO with that bullshit.

loneliness-inc · 2019-01-01T04:36:55+00:00

This is a good case of female solipsism. She says you should like/want me because I’m this, this, and this. Umm, no. You don’t get to decide or dictate what men find desirable.

usa_foot_print · 2019-01-01T03:46:52+00:00

What a dumb bitch. They don’t ditch you because you refuse to cook. They ditch you because you somehow think that refusing to cook makes you a strong independent woman instead of the fat broke ass that you are.

ChiTownBob · 2019-01-01T03:50:13+00:00

"You'll never get a home-cooked meal from me," I told him. "If you need a woman who will cook for you, you're going to have to find someone else."

Bye.

Never mind that I'm smart and loving and loyal and accomplished. I'm a good friend. And a good kisser. I can make you laugh. (I'm a successful humorist. I've even been on the Today Show!)

But nothing about being unselfish and loving. So a narcissist.

BluepillProfessor · 2019-01-01T06:26:07+00:00

Cooking is a basic life skill. This is just a breathlessly arrogant little girl demanding to be put in her place. This is a shit test from a child.

omegajelly200 · 2019-01-01T06:43:23+00:00

I'm telling you guys straight out. If a woman doesn't cook, she sure as hell doesn't wash her clothes, take a bath, clean the house and look after the kids.

Cooking isn't even a woman-specific skill to begin with. Both men and women must learn how to cook. It's a prerequisite skill of adulthood and signifies that you can take care of yourself.

If you date a woman who can't / won't cook, you are dating a literal womanchild who is anything but strong and independent. She can't even cook her own meals, for crying out loud.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2019-01-01T06:51:13+00:00

This one is for the ladies so listen up or don't, makes no difference to me.

A few years ago I met an incredible woman. She sent me a detailed message on a dating site that got my full attention. Our first date was amazing. For our second date she invited me to her place to cook.

The prep and cooking process was super intimate. We sipped some wine, shared stories, and built incredible sexual tension. Even if we didn't have sex that night, I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt, I wanted to see her again. Spoiler Alert: We had wild, amazing sex that night.

Being able to cook isn't about servitude. Cooking a meal for someone or together garners a level of intimacy that can't be matched. I remember that night fondly.

Unfortunately, we had different lifestyles that just didn't intersect, so we didn't last very long. But, far and away that was one of the best dates ever.

SirKolbath · 2019-01-01T05:00:28+00:00

She definitely made me laugh by claiming a successful humorist is one who has been on the Today Show.

SilverGryphon · 2019-01-01T08:53:09+00:00

They expect several traits in a guy but then they offer none themselves. I was always told that if you want a high value woman you need to offer a similar high value, but somehow the rules don't apply to women. Muh equality indeed.

Overkillengine · 2019-01-01T07:48:34+00:00

Unless she is so rich that it is cheaper for her to pay someone else to cook while she earns money elsewhere, not being willing to cook even for herself indicates that a woman is going to be a financial burden on top of the other implied issues with eating out all the time. It also bespeaks a lack of a nurturing and supporting nature, which is a critical component of a workable long term relationship, so whining that it is a gendered expectation isn't going to cut the mustard either. If men wanted to date a man, they'd do that. I'm sure this same woman would turn down any man that expressed a desire to be a stay at home spouse while she was the sole breadwinner. If you expect a gendered role, you have to provide a gendered role in return.

Westernhagen · 2019-01-01T13:14:11+00:00

Her: "You'll never get a home-cooked meal from me. If you need a woman who will cook for you, you're going to have to find someone else."

Me: "Kthxbye."

brazil84 · 2019-01-01T15:41:24+00:00

Another article she wrote:

A Backyard Full of Muscular Men

I love to walk, and because I never drive when I can stroll, I walk for at least an hour a day. Happily, this lets me indulge in one of my other hobbies— ogling arborists.

I first acquired an appreciation of tree guys over a decade ago, when my neighbors began warning me that the ailing birch in my backyard needed to be cut down before it decided to come down itself. On my roof. So I phoned around and hired a tree service.

When I looked out the window of my home office the next morning, my backyard was full of muscular dudes! Striding about, calling to each other, zipping up lines into my tree, then wielding chain saws as branches came crashing down.

In a word: Yum!

Guess what dear? "Yum" is also what we men say when a woman cooks a nice meal for us.

Again, it shows that she appreciates it when men possess traditionally attractive male qualities such as being strong. But of course she feels men are horrible and sexist for valuing traditionally attractive female qualities in women. Heck, if a man she new expressed a similar "yum" reaction to a young, hot waitress in a short skirt, you can bet she would be whining about "objectification."

911GT1 · 2019-01-01T09:57:33+00:00

So strong and independent that she needs a man to cook for her. On the other hand, she has nothing to offer to a man's life.

KingRobotPrince · 2019-01-01T10:36:05+00:00

Men, in my experience, expect women not only to be able to cook but to enjoy cooking. Specifically, men want women to want to prepare them a wonderful, home-cooked meal.

Yes. Men expect women to be women. They do not need women to be men. And she knows about this problem, could easily remedy it, but chooses not to. Interesting.

It wasn't that Bob loved spending time in the kitchen. When I asked, he told me that he was an adequate but indifferent cook himself and that he didn't particularly enjoy cooking. But, clearly, he expected me to.

Nothing wrong with that. The guy is looking for someone to run his family, nurture his children, ensure he is fed after a long hard day.

Why is that such an issue for her?

"You'll never get a home-cooked meal from me," I told him. "If you need a woman who will cook for you, you're going to have to find someone else."

Such an attitude here. It's clearly not that she is indifferent to cooking. She relishes the fact that she will never "bend to the will of a man". She will never be "subservient" enough to prepare him a meal and take care of him. Never conform to that "tired old stereotype".

Also, you can tell, really, that she's saying she won't cook. Not that she can't cook. Any schmuck can cook.

I find this exasperating, if only because it's so gendered. Can you imagine a woman turning down an otherwise wonderful man upon learning that he would never prepare her a delicious dinner? Of course you can't.

I guarantee she would turn down a man if he didn't earn enough or have the right assets.

Then, one night, he suggested that he'd like to come over for dinner. Which, naturally, he expected me to prepare for him. "But I don't cook," I said. "I told you that."

"I thought you meant that you weren't a GOURMET cook," he said. "You really don't cook? At all? Ever?" I'm not saying that the relationship ended solely because of that, but it certainly didn't help.

It is gendered, but fuck, if women don't recoil when a guy still lives with his parents past a certain age, or he doesn't have a car!

And, again, the message is "I won't cook for a man!"

The guy typically earns more and works longer hours. The woman typically cares for the children. Guys are going to be looking for a woman that cooks, otherwise the children suffer.

My mother was a wonderful cook. Growing up, I couldn't help but notice how much time she spent cooking. And shopping. And cleaning up. Everyone loved Mom's cooking, and she longed to teach me all of her culinary tricks and skills, but I didn't want to learn them.

I suspected that once I knew how to cook a fabulous meal, people would expect me to. And cooking a fabulous meal just wasn't how I wanted to spend my time.

So here we have it. Finally she reveals the issue. She has some sort of hang-ups about being a wife, a mother, simply being able to cook. Did her father leave her mother? Does she have such low self-esteem that she thinks she will never fill her mother's shoes?

Or has she simply been poisoned by the cancer that is modern feminism?

when we eventually divorced, it had nothing to do with dinner.

Or was it? She already married a guy who liked to cook! Was this really as happy a union as she first describes? Or was she so scared of having to fill a "woman's role" that she basically married a man that did so? It worked so well, except she got bored, or didn't want to sleep with him anymore, maybe she cheated with some manly guy who she could not marry because he wanted a home cooked meal?

After the divorce, I once confided to my ex that our son was complaining that he'd never gotten a home-cooked meal from me. "Cook him one. He'll never ask for another," Rick joked.

"Hahaha, my wife cannot care properly for my son!" - major beta detected!

All I'm looking for is a good man who doesn't yearn to come home to a home-cooked meal. There apparently aren't many of them, but all I need is one.

And one that is willing to take on a divorcee with a kid!

No doubt she will only consider a guy that is working full time and pulling six figures, with no time to fucking cook!

brazil84 · 2019-01-01T11:45:56+00:00

> I find this exasperating, if only because it's so gendered. Can you imagine a woman turning down an otherwise wonderful man upon learning that he would never prepare her a delicious dinner? Of course you can't.

Perhaps not, but I certainly can imagine woman turning down an otherwise wonderful man because (1) he's not taller than her; (2) he is not a successful professional; (3) he has a a meek personality and is not a confident "alpha" type.

In other words, women's preferences are extremely "gendered" to use her word. But like virtually all women, she has essentially no self-reflection or self-awareness. She is a child who thinks only of her own wants without giving any consideration to what others want.

Anyway, I doubt that the cooking issue per se is what turns men off, it's that she is signalling right out of the gates that she is an entitled hypocritical narcissistic feminist cunt.

brazil84 · 2019-01-01T12:34:18+00:00

By the way, last year this same woman wrote an article about the types of guys she doesn't like. Here is one:

> “Allergic to Work" “I’m too busy conquering the 847th level of this video game to hunt for a job. And you make enough to support us both, honeybunch.”

That's right guys. If the man wants her to cook, he's imposing "gendered" expectations on her. But it's perfectly ok for her to insist that he work, even though she makes enough money to support him.

_infinite_Thoughts · 2019-01-01T11:55:29+00:00

What does being on the Today Show have to do with anything though??

KoloGupta · 2019-01-02T08:12:38+00:00

As always, when the divorce is her fault (always is), it's "for other reasons", if she can't accuse the ex husband of being abusive. Her son must bee too old for her to be able to get away with that lie.

A woman who can't cook means there's a lot she won't be able to do in a marriage. It also means she'll be unwilling to learn to do those things. She's essentially an inept homemaker. She'll also depend on her husband and Macdonald's to feed the kids. This also shows that she is selfish, and will be exceptionally so in a marriage or relationship.

The OP tries to deflect her laziness by whining about how much time her mother spent cooking, shopping for groceries, and cleaning up. This is BS. Her mother tried to teach her how to cook, but she refused to learn.

She loaded up the dishwasher herself while her ex husband did the cooking, so this is Equality™. Men and women are supposed to complement each other, not compete with each other. It isn't much of a competition, anyway. Her son complains about never being given a home-cooked meal, and she proudly announces this.

A woman who can't cook is a huge red flag. She can still get a man to wife her up, but it's no surprise when her marriage didn't work out. A single mother who can't cook is completely useless. Being that her MMV and RMV are already in the toilet, she's going to need a lot more than excuses and shaming to be able to offer a man some value. The fact that men don't even bother trying to meet up with her, or cut her loose once she declines to cook for them says it all.

Fantoche_Dreemurr · 2019-01-01T16:47:53+00:00

Feminism sold them the lie that they do not need any of the useful womanly skills anymore and they will be liberated if all they have to offer is sex.

The article is an hilarious fluff piece presented as some queen who hasn't been satisfied yet

houseoftolstoy · 2019-01-01T17:13:43+00:00

he told me that my inability to cook for him was indeed a deal-breaker. Never mind that I'm smart and loving and loyal and accomplished. I'm a good friend. And a good kisser. I can make you laugh. (I'm a successful humorist. I've even been on the Today Show!) Apparently, that wasn't worth a thing, because I couldn't whip up a delicious chicken parm or fabulous beef stroganoff.

Another empowered woman who projects her desires into her own persona. Don't get me wrong about the loving and loyal part, that is all fine and good. And it's not that it's a bad thing if she truly can make you laugh, but that's not a quality men specifically seek in a woman. This woman outright refusing to cook shows that she has no desire for femininity.

And for practical terms, everyone should know how to cook. What man wants to have to do all the cooking himself in a relationship? Why even have a relationship? I don't want to spend a lot of money on takeout when it is possible to make delicious, fresh, and healthier food at home.

omegajelly200 · 2019-01-01T06:35:43+00:00

The money you save on being able to cook your own meals in non-trivial, even for someone comfortably into the middle class. Does a humorist really make enough money that their time is better spent doing something else? Can't you think of humor while you do a bit of menial labor for yourself? Stick your hands in the dish soap and daydream away.

The health benefits from being able to cook your own meals are huge. Most restaurant dishes tend to be loaded with calories, salts, and so on. So you have to do more extreme portion control than for a home cooked meal to keep the calorie count the same. Because of its content, your body is going to be even more triggered to crave the rich restaurant food, which means you will need more self control to do that portion control. Yes, its not impossible to find healthy restaurants. But have you gone to the effort to do that? Actually healthy food will cost more than junk. Whereas healthy food at home is particularly cheap. After a bit of time your body will adjust to the lower levels of sugar in your food so that it is just as satisfying as the rich restaurant food.

I don't think women need to know how to cook for their men. I think that normal human beings in this atomized society need to be able to cook for themselves.

brazil84 · 2019-01-01T17:02:05+00:00

By the way, I found the Today show interview which demonstrates how successful she is as a humorist:

https://www.today.com/video/humor-columnist-i-feel-better-past-60-than-at-20-40254019915

Basically it's her whining about how she's completely okay with her post-wall appearance. There are a bunch of fierce brave post-wall women in the background holding up signs with their ages on them. Nothing particularly funny about it.

ChiTownBob · 2019-01-01T19:48:14+00:00

She doesn't want to cook because she wants a RICH MAN who will take her out every day, 3x a day, pay for expensive food out there.

OracleofFl · 2019-01-02T01:36:23+00:00

> Never mind that I'm smart and loving and loyal and accomplished. I'm a good friend. And a good kisser. I can make you laugh.

...but she isn't a giving warm person by her own admission and not cooking shows this. Cooking for someone is an act of giving/service to a loved one or a friend. There is also something innately warm and sweet about sitting down to a home cooked meal a loved one prepares for you.

I also agree that it is also a life skill to be able to prepare a basic mean (spaghetti and meat sauce, scrambled eggs, etc.). How many women would lose attraction for a man if he said, "I can't change a light bulb, I call a handyman."

[deleted] · 2019-01-02T15:33:58+00:00

Ok, this needs to be said; If you can't cook a decent meal after studying a bit and buying the right ingredients then you're a complete moron.
Cooking really comes down to following directions and preparing.
This bitch is just lazy

tysonsmithshootname · 2019-01-02T16:25:57+00:00

The financial toll her take-out only, no cook lifestyle is enough to give her the boot. I could never be with someone who is so financially irresponsible.

JameisBong · 2019-01-03T12:02:35+00:00

Divorced single mom who doesn't cook for her own child? Oh yeah sounds like fun, sign me up!!!

CfromCA · 2019-01-01T13:39:21+00:00

She’s also..surprise, surprise, no attractive.

https://www.facebook.com/rosalind.warren

Jon9314 · 2019-01-01T15:07:58+00:00

Take a look at her in this interview...can you say high strung with the teeth? OMG she needs 20k in dental work. Braces first, then either veneers or deep bleaching.

https://www.today.com/video/humor-columnist-i-feel-better-past-60-than-at-20-40254019915

_Ameizing_ · 2019-01-02T00:54:30+00:00

I don’t often post here but this one hit home. I love to cook. Mostly because I love to eat good food and I like not paying restaurant prices for it. And my reaction would be exactly the same as this guys. Why would I want to date someone who has managed to miss such an important and ubiquitous life skill? Cooking is important for everyone to one degree or another. Not knowing how to do it at all? That suggests a spoiled brat who never had to lift a finger for themselves. Hard pass.

Bruhaha84 · 2019-01-15T23:49:43+00:00

What the hell are you good for then?

Zodiamaster · 2019-02-07T21:25:41+00:00

My ex was like, for 3 years, she didn't do shit.

No, by no means I am oppressor of women, I just expected my 27 year old gf to be able to survive and be an ADULT, and being able to TAKE CARE OF HERSELF. Not her being some sort of 1920 wife.

I had no problems cooking, not doing the chores, but after 3 years I honestly resented her for acting like a pre-teen, and not being helpful even when my schedule was a mess. Of course, we didn't break up for this, she was also an emotional train-wreck, but it was one of her many bad facets.

Title	I'm a strong and indypyndynt wymyn and refuse to cook for a man. Where are all the good male cooks?
Author	loneliness-inc
Upvotes	109
Comments	113
Date	January 1, 2019 2:57 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/abea7w/im_a_strong_and_indypyndynt_wymyn_and_refuse_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/im-a-strong-and-indypyndynt-wymyn-and-refuse-to.347367 https://theredarchive.com/post/347367

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