Hey guys, to keep it short. I’ve been struggling with porn and masturbation since I was a young child.
I’m at my wits end and I want to stop. Recently I’ve hit a new low and looked at stuff that was absolutely digusting and it scared me to see what could be the end of the dark hole, I want off this ride but my brain is too messed up?
Any practical steps? any other man who freed himself through Christ? I fasted for three days, no food just water, it helped and as soon it ended I binged (shameful, I know)
(Aside from pre-marital sex with a LTR that was heading towards engagement, one of my biggest regrets as I thought she was the “one” but I wised up from that trainwreck of a relationship)
To get back on track, I’m desperate, I don’t want this desire to cause me to act out again.
I know what is required but I fail to do it. I think I do it to escape the loneliness and emptiness of my life as I desire intimacy with a women but I think this is just due to conditioning my brain from a young age to use porn.
I’ve fallen and I hate what I let myself become. I just need help, I fear that I may end my life if my sin brings me down any further in the future as I do not want to act out sexually(by this I mean commit any sexual act with another person or against myself) in any way.