"My birthday should be a happy thing..." The blame-game...

SkorchZang · 2015-11-29T21:03:41+00:00

The real sin you committed was apologizing to her.

Not only that, but you were explaining yourself to her, reasons why you won't be catering for her birthday.

This is infuriating, wishy-washy, feminine behavior, in a woman's eyes. Talking to her about it, expecting she will be rational about it - waste of everyone's time.

The solution can be as simple as reminding yourself of that old folk wisdom: when you say "No" to somebody, NEVER give a reason. You just say "No".

Man you might be thinking "yeah yeah, good theory there TRP poster", but this is not JUST theory. If you said no, did not apologize, did not explain yourself to her, and didn't do shit for her birthday... she would be tingling with increased desire for you. Slightly, secretly insecure about whether she's good enough for you (which is exactly where you want a woman to be, when they're there, they aim to please and love the whole experience of pleasing you).

[deleted] · 2015-11-29T01:43:15+00:00

Fast forward to today. I explained to her that I didn't feel like it. That I have my own stuff to handle. That I won a battle (she knows about my past) and need my own space. And yes... after she initially 'accepts' it (I politely apologised to her for not being there), she just started the 'blame-game'

You made a plan and then you went back on your word. As a man I dont do this, if I commit to something I do it, FOR ME and my reputation, not for the other person.
You won a battle and you need your own space? What the fuck is this? You don't tell others about your efforts.
If she is post-wall get a new one.

Denswend · 2015-11-29T00:23:24+00:00

Partially because of what I now know though TRP, partially because... mehhhh... just don't feel like it. Not her, that's for sure.

This is you, not yet "taken the pill" but it being in your mind like a catchy song you find yourself humming at strange times. She flagged you down as a provider. You and men in general, do not want to be considered only providers. Thus, there is a certain aversion to LTR with her specifically, an aversion you cannot concretely articulate because you lack the necessary means (definitions and such) - which TRP provides. She doesn't care for you as a person, but as a stereotype of male provider and this resonates with you.

Time to hit the gym.

There is an unspoken thing about physical exercise, mainly lifting. The yelled part about body and such is always the primary goal. But the unspoken thing is the mentality a directed physical exercise puts you in. A more masculine mentality which renders you further immune to general BP/feminist techniques such as shaming and guilt tripping and gaslighting.

larrythetomato · 2015-11-29T02:00:23+00:00

I used her own words against her. Being completely calm and polite:

I have tried this many times (I am really analytical, abstract and articulate so I can rephrase what people saying to explain how their own logic is inconsistent). I have also found that most people's arguments are over their head: they themselves don't understand the core logic behind their arguments, making it impossible to change their mind, or even their reasons for believing them. Simply put, they say that A implies B, I show that using their reasoning A is incorrect. They still think that B is true.

Ranting aside, Arguing has never, ever worked. People don't argue to explore truth, people argue to be right. This is why arguments are never useful. The exception is 1 on 1, with someone you trust, way past your bedtime.

I have gone through a couple of the other responses and they might be missing the point, or they might not be (in text, there is no tone and without knowing the writer, I can't tell if they are sarcastic, sincere or written in jest).

For example, /u/MattyAnon says:

You failed her expectations, therefore you're a Bad Man. "My birthday should" = "It is your job to provide". You know this.

This is literally true. And by literally I mean literally (not figuratively). The last sentence fragment explains the emotional response from her: You knew that you, yes I mean you BlueEyezzz, were supposed to make sure that my birthday was a great day, and you fucked it up. It is also "you know", not "you should know".

I feel that on trp, a lot of women logic is said (or at least taken) in jest. But it shouldn't be. This is exactly how most women, nay most people, are going to act and react.

But how does this affect you?

The answer is that it doesn't have to if you don't want it to. The language that many women use is not womanese, it is social-talk (Powertalk or Gametalk). It is the language that allows a small, slow transfer of vital, sensitive, potentially life destroying information between two players, in front of a third player(s), who even though they heard the whole conversation, is not clued in on any of the secrets, and more importantly will vouch for the other two that nothing out of the ordinary took place. Most women are aware of this language, and most men aren't. This language allows you to trade favors with the really powerful, but is hard as fuck to learn.

If you don't want to play, be upfront about it. What she is doing is manipulative as fuck so treat it as it is:

Her: blah blah you made me feel bad on my birthday you are a bad man, blah blah

Him: That’s a pretty judgmental way to look at it.

Her: I just think it’s stupid and disrespectful.

Him: Well, it’s clear our values differ. It was nice seeing you.

Her: Wait, what?

Him: Goodnight.

Her: Are you serious? You’re leaving? NOW?!

Him: Yes.

Her: I’m sorry. Wait. Don’t go. I didn’t mean it like that.

Him: Walks out

(Based on work by Mark Manson, author of Models, source)

national_sanskrit · 2015-11-29T17:57:00+00:00

If I may digress, why the girl you only dated twice knows your potentially career destroying secret?

doubleecho88 · 2015-11-29T00:06:39+00:00

Good for you.

I never did understand why people (mostly women) feel that everyone has to cater to them every birthday. The way I see it is congratulations, you survived another year by not getting hit by a bus or choking to death on dinner. Not every single birthday deserves "star treatment".

MattyAnon · 2015-11-29T00:05:58+00:00

"You know, I understand your position and I accept your apology. BUT... I still feel like shit. You just hurt my belief in men again. Today is my birthday... that should be a happy thing. But you made me feel like shit"

You failed her expectations, therefore you're a Bad Man. "My birthday should" = "It is your job to provide". You know this.

This is acceptance of TRP, but it's not acceptance of her. Your response is "this is what is happening, I don't like it, so goodbye". The reality is that this will ALWAYS happen, because there are no unicorns.

So learn to handle this better... care less... laugh at her temper tantrums... but don't reject her for being female unless you want no females in your life.

OhTheShenanigans · 2015-11-29T04:38:46+00:00

You have solid advice here and it looks like you're taking it. My advice is to never tell anyone (especially women) about your past that isn't a licensed therapist or lawyer. She has the ability to ruin your dream job, and you gave it to her. Good luck.

always-be-closing · 2015-11-29T14:27:13+00:00

She's 33?!

Anyone with whom you do not have to deal, male or female, who behaves like this past 18 is not worth enduring longterm.

cariboo_j · 2015-11-30T00:28:33+00:00

"You know, I understand your position and I accept your apology. BUT... I still feel like shit. You just hurt my belief in men again. Today is my birthday... that should be a happy thing. But you made me feel like shit"

Emotional blackmail. Don't put up with that shit.

I hate that guilt tripping shit.

[deleted] · 2015-11-29T06:19:29+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	"My birthday should be a happy thing..." The blame-game...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	27
Comments	21
Date	November 28, 2015 11:28 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3un916/my_birthday_should_be_a_happy_thing_the_blamegame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/my-birthday-should-be-a-happy-thing-the-blame-game.38496 https://theredarchive.com/post/38496

Comments

She's 33?!