~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
adviceaccount03
[–]wwstewart242 points243 points244 points 5 years ago (76 children) | Copy Link
When my narc ex and I split up (one year ago tomorrow), I was pretty much destroyed. I started working quickly to improve myself with the hope that I would "win" her back by being what she wanted. The only thing was that I was far too bluepilled at the time. But after a bit, I decided that I was going to do it for myself. Not for her. I would either be better with her, or better without her. Either way, I would be better.
Fast forward to today. I'm better without her. But I'm still better.
And frankly, she doesn't deserve me.
[–]Super-Shredder56 points57 points58 points 5 years ago (66 children) | Copy Link
She ever try to come back?
[–]wwstewart95 points96 points97 points 5 years ago (65 children) | Copy Link
She's talked about it off and on over the past year. But early on (after I found out she was sleeping around with multiple dudes), she said something like "I love you, maybe we can work on this in a year or so...but I'm not going to only see you. I'm going to see other people."
She even talked about it a month ago. Two days before mediation where she basically fought harder to keep her criminal boyfriend allowed to be around our son than for our son to stay with her.
I'm not going to lie. This girl was my world, and we have a kid together, so I still wanted to keep what I thought was (up until shortly before she left) was the best relationship I had ever had.
But after a while, I snapped out of it. I am getting custody of our son (of course, she agreed to it). She can do whatever she wants. I'm not into that kind of sharing bs. Regardless of whether I got cucked or not, I'm not letting that shit slide.
[–]Super-Shredder48 points49 points50 points 5 years ago (50 children) | Copy Link
Yeah similar situation for me minus the kids. Both 31, was dumped 5 months ago out of the blue after 2.5 years with the usual "need to find what makes me happy" BS. And got completely ghosted minus the happy birthday text a week later. Completely fucking devastated. I've been working hard on myself ever since. With zero regards for her. Relationship was serious. Best one I've ever had. And our lives were pretty intertwined families, friends, and everything. Tells a mutual friend that I was the best boyfriend she ever had bla bla bla.
Been doing much better and this sub is a godsend. Was into RP before I met her but you know how it is. You think shes "the one" and over time forget all the knowledge you learned. She's in some rebound with some weird dude. Who she most likely monkey branched too. My ego is always wondering what the likely hood is of her trying to swing back at some point.
[–]FirmFirefighter39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
"need to find what makes me happy"
=Ten inch meat injection from some loser.
[–]cilantromakesmepuke11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ten inch meat
Ahh, the mythical Unicorn...
[–]RedSkeller1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I need space
[–]wwstewart24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (41 children) | Copy Link
Damn.
Well, from what I've learned about narcs, it's pretty much a 100% shot at them trying to come back...once they aren't getting the attention/fuel they want from someone else. The problem is that they know how to push every button you have, they know what you need/want emotionally, they know how you operate, and they WILL exploit it.
From what I can tell, it's very, very rare that a narc coming back will ever work out well. Often, they just repeat the discard again, but it's worse every subsequent time.
The hardest part is that they are addictive. Probably more than most people. Even a hardcore redpilled dude could be sucked back in by a legit NPD woman. They are ACTUALLY dangerous. And if you have anything that they perceive as a flaw (in my case, I love our kid, and I have ADHD), they'll use that to destroy you.
[–]Raygar2115 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That is my experience as well. They are addictive and dangerous. The only response to them is
Fort Knox level no contact. Even if that means losing friends, moving, changing your whole life
around. It's worth it to be free of them, they are vampires.
[–]StatisticaPizza15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The problem is that they know how to push every button you have, they know what you need/want emotionally, they know how you operate, and they WILL exploit it.
This is so fucking true, I feel back into that trap too many times before I figured it out.
[–]wwstewart13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me too, man.
The only way to stop it is to cut them off 100%.
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Often they just repeat the discard again, but its worse.
Ye pretty much. I got burned 2x by the same stupid flame. Took me 3 yrs after the 2nd time. Not even kidding.
[–]Raygar214 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah they're hard to get away from. They do fake remorse and pledges they've changed better than the real
deal. Plus the crying. All the crying sucked me right back in. Each time you go back it's worse though.
[–]Super-Shredder5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link
How do you identify a Narc? I'm not sure if she is one.
Looking back, something was definitely off after her 31st birthday 2 months before the dumping. She's definitely wedding and baby hungry. Maybe she feels the wall approaching quickly, who knows, and felt the need to jump on CC because she deserves better massive eyeroll. Shit sucked and am honestly still healing from it. Reswallowing the RP has helped me immensely to find my center.
I've had an ex comeback before and I took her back. Mistake. She branch swung again and it fucked me up. But it led me to swallowing red pills.
I sort of look forward to seeing if she tries to reach back out some time in the future. I kinda want it to happen because I find female and relationship psychology extremely fascinating. And it would confirm alot of things. Like when people say they always come back.
What is everyone's thoughts on that. Do they always try to come back?
[–]FirmFirefighter10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
There are good help sites on people that date narcs. There are classic red flags. It is fascinating but eventually you will probably find it time to just fold their memory away and forget about them. Its amazing how many guys on here have been out with narcs. Classic signs not only but including - Narc women are very haughty (but not always very bright) they will talk down to you.
They never admit blame.
They will "gaslight" convincing you that you are in the wrong and that you are crazy. Gaslighting is very damaging to those that don't recognise it.
They often have "shark eyes" They are soulless.
They have no hobbies or interests. Their "pursuits" are things that their last ex did. This is uncanny. But the narc is a parasite by nature. They can not exist without the "mirror" that is held up for them by a partner. They truly are empty creatures. Which is why they need to hollow you out. In the same way as a vampire feeds on blood. Do no underestimate this facet of their personality.
A good indicator is they are often "dog lovers" or even worse horse riders if you get an educated one.
They will cut you off as soon as you start talking and all their conversation is about them.
Another indicator is drug use. Usually sleeping pills or some bipolar medication stuff.
They always return in some way or another - sometimes its just as they are seeking validation so an angry reply from you is as good as a positive one. There are dozens of other red flags. But a real narcissist can be very very dangerous.
A narc woman will usually have hardly any female friends but will ALWAYS have multiple male "friends". Iit is also common to see a couple of narc women team up. That is your worse nightmare . The friend of a narc is often called a flying monkey and does their bidding. If they are both narcs they both lie for each other and they both know the perverse rules of the game.
[–]Raygar215 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The "friends" of a narc (don't think they are capable of true friendship) are precisely what makes
them so dangerous. The male APD/narcs I've come across tended to be far more solitary and
obvious about their predations. The females were far less obvious and cunning, and their
large network of superficial friends, minions and betas were how they wielded so much power.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The best to deal with a narc is learn comedy and laught at them and at you. Don't take them seriously nor yourself. Laugh at you before them.
[–]Raygar210 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I'd agree with that as long as you don't get in too deep. Then it just isn't funny. But definitely you need
to not take yourself seriously and know your own weaknesses. Because those fuckers will hone in on them with their narcky sixth sense for finding your inner demons . Best way to ward them off is to laugh and act like you
dgaf
And comedy in general is great for when you're coming out of it. I binge watched a lot of stand up when things
were really bad and shtf
[–]wwstewart7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
From Mayo Clinic:
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and the severity of symptoms vary. People with the disorder can:
At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Raygar216 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Bingo! People refuse to believe that females can be sociopaths or even psychopaths. I've
had the misfortune of knowing several and they are every bit as dangerous as men, although they are more likely to use men to do their dirty work, but not always.
BPD is so close to narcissism as to be identical. But BPD elicits sympathy and special
treatment and narcissism the exact opposite.
[–]johnnynix181 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Both cluster b disorders and very similiar. Ex was bpd and destroyed my life. Look up David demars on YouTube hes got some good content on these monsters
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]cleats4u7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They missed the raging part. Those fuckers will go nuts if they don't get their way. There will be name calling and defending yourself only escalates it into a fit. Then they become meek as lamb victims if authorities show up.
[–]Raygar211 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Christ yes! They can turn it on and off like a switch.
[–]101001101001011001012 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What if I'm only a couple of these, am I just a self-professed piece of shit?
[–]wwstewart2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Pretty much. The fact that you're aware of it pretty much means you aren't likely to have NPD. Plus, they tend to have ALL of these.
[–]Natsume241 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Holy shit. This was my ex to a T.
How the hell I survived her I don't know, but she left major mental scars on me. But it forced me to grow strong.
[–]PolukranosEatsWords0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Huh. Guess I'm a narc. Describes me pretty well.
And here I always thought I was just a plain old asshole.
[–]wwstewart4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
I'm gonna have to agree in a sense...it IS fascinating to learn about relationship psychology. BUT...keep in mind that there's a M A S S I V E difference in narcissistic behavior (which everyone is prone to, especially when under intense stress and angry) and full-blown NPD.
To handle narcissistic behavior, you don't give it any credit. You kind of just write them off.
If the person has NPD...you have to (and I wish I weren't making this up, but this is coming from psychologists and other medical professionals) get yourself away from them and go no-contact if at all possible, then make sure that they can't get to you, because they are so screwed up that they are legitimately dangerous to whoever their target it. They may not physically cause harm (although some do), but they will absolutely do as much emotional/psychological damage as they can. C-PTSD and suicide is fairly common after being abused by someone with NPD.
I read somewhere that they estimated that about 6% of the population has NPD (this is just from memory, I'm not actually attempting to cite a fact...this is my memory to the best of my knowledge). The problem is that people with NPD often go undiagnosed because they tend to hide it from their therapist/psychologist. So the only real way to know is to watch the patterns that they all run in. A good clinician with experience dealing with NPD will know how to trigger them into letting their mask slip, and can make a diagnosis from that.
Evidence is hard to get. You have to almost beat them at their own game and manipulate them into showing their true face. Basically, putting yourself in the line of fire. It's not comfortable, and honestly I don't recommend it to anyone who doesn't understand what they're up against. It IS better to just go straight up no-contact.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Raygar211 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I'd quit, but do it carefully and make up some phony excuse not "hey I'm leaving cuz you're a narcissistic douche bag". Leave while you're still a favorite, because once you lose favor he could blackball you if you try to leave.
[–]fruguy1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah I think I need to quit. Being around toxic people like that is stressful and bad for your health. I feel I've aged a lot in my time there. And he is relatively good to me!
[–]Raygar211 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
So true. Concrete evidence is the only way to expose them, but when you do that you become even more of a target.
[–]wwstewart3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. I think that's why experts basically just recommend running away and starting over. It's not often a winning battle.
[–]Raygar212 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yep, I tried it and it backfired big time, no one believed me. Got attacked from all sides by the minion brigade.
People are too sucked in by the Narcs phony charm and good looks.
They are totally capable of driving people to suicide, I've often wondering how many suicides have been caused indirectly or even indirectly by a narcissist or their ilk. I think that once they sense their target is starting to get tired of their shit, getting burnt out or just ready to move on, they start a low key slander campaign cloaked in that fake supporting role you mentioned. They appear to approach relationships like chess games , they're always strategizing many steps ahead, trying to anticipate your next moves . They can and do instigate mobbing by even your own family and friends, they are that good at disguising their true motives and machinations. They can be insanely evil if they put their minds to it. If they up and leave you and just ignore you consider yourself incredibly fortunate.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]wwstewart0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You have to do or say something that causes them narcissistic injury. You have to take control back. The backlash will not be pretty. I don't recommend it if you're not mentally ready for them to attack. If you let them cause you to let your guard down, you are going to get hurt.
Not always, but often enough if you give them a chance.
[–]lastlaugh1001 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
BPD's employ hoovering and bread crumbs tactics.
BPD's don't actually want their victims back. BPD's simply want the satisfaction of knowing the victim still wants them, despite all the abuse the BPD has inflicted.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She was fucking that rebound guy 6 months ago
[–]RokhumanZero1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She will, as they all do. Even lurking, they find themselves comparing themselves to you. My ex crawled out during v day this past week and I took control. After being cheated on, lied to and manipulated, I told her. If you ain't down to help me with my needs (sex.) I dont need you. We fuck twice a week now, she still has her orbiter's, and I have others with boyfriends that seek validation through me. It won't last, as she's gonna want me to commit, and I already have looked beyond that.
If I could say anything is this: Women are losers, they need us for the coolness factor. Most of them dont have hobbies or goals outside of trying to hook beta orbiters and the approach(Make up, overpriced clothes and phones, practicing manipulative behavior and talking about it with other girls.) towards that. You already on the right path, they always branch to options. Like RF in YouTube says "She was never YOUR girl, it was just YOUR turn." Just bust and move, baby. Bust and move.
[–]Glorpazoid0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What’s monkey branching? (I’m strangely super excited to learn this new term)
[–]RubixCubeDonut1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It describes the relationship strategy of ending it only when another one is already lined up. Like a monkey swinging between branches on a tree and only letting go of the previous one once it has grasped the new one.
[–]Glorpazoid0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ahhhh. Makes sense. Thanks!
[–]Crankshaft13376 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Dont worry my man. Just give it 2 years. Stay in shape work on your cash flow and she will turn into a wildabeast right in front of your eyes like 70% of them are obese now. May the odds forever be in your favor!
[–]wwstewart1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Man...she's already on the way. :D
Like a socially tone deaf bison!
[–]Natsume240 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Truth. I lost weight and gained some muscle and she got obese.
Revenge was sweet.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
When I was young and constantly dreaming of finding a beautiful wife, I thought having a kid and getting married would ensure a secure relationship.
Boy have I been proven otherwise by some really, really awful stories.
[–]Doc_Sithicus2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Let me tell you from my own experience - the moment my kid was born the marriage went into the death spiral. Took about 4-5 years before crash and burn.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fuuuck man. That’s awful.
So it makes things worse
Same here, pretty much.
[–]shammylamby1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I truly am so sorry that you had to go through such horrible heartbreak with your wife and child. I have been there and my story is pretty sad to. Two things I want you to keep in mind. First this is not your fault. Oh I know you weren't perfect nor was I nor where are former spouses. You just naively believed that you too accepted each other for your good and bad and there would be comfort and your relationship with that. What you are going through is so common nowadays. I like to think of it as The perfect Storm-feminism mixed with social media. Secondly you seem to be a younger man. There is huge power in this as your life is all ahead of you. Be a success for yourself and your daughter. The truth always reveals itself in the end. Godspeed my friend.
[–]wwstewart1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm not all that young. Heh. I turned 40 a while back. But thank you.
[–]shammylamby1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sorry I had my world turned upside down at at the age of 49, I mistakenly make the assumption everyone on this subreddit is young. I also thought my wife was my soul mate, best friend if you will. Still trying to look for the obvious clues I missed. Love is blind I guess.
[–]wwstewart0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No worries. I've seen people in their teens all the way into their 70's on here. It's an all ages thing. Heh.
I know what you mean. I saw mine the same way.
[–]shammylamby1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I hope you find healing my friend
[–]TrojanPiece1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Holy crap, she is the definition of sociopathic selfishness. She doesn't even care about keeping her kid in favor of fucking dudes lmfao. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be the best relationship you'd ever have in all honesty, but tbh after being redpilled you realize all relationships are toxic on men's end.
[–]johnnynix181 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ex was bpd. Narcs and bpds are both cluster b disorders and are very similiar. My advice normally is cut all contact completely and never look back for your own sanity but since you have a child I suggest as little contact as possible. Theese people will destroy your life with no remorse just cause they feel like it and are master manipulators, Goodluck
[–]TrojanPiece4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No lady deserves you bro. Just get hookers.
[–]DrExtra4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same! Similar situation.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The last girl that broke my heart, I got over it by becoming a millionaire.
[–]JonL94511 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yup I’m now a millionaire after the ex left haha
True story, this summer, some friends of mine tried to not-so-subtly set me up with a girl, as they're trying to sell me on her, they tell me about how her ex-boyfriend, once they broke up, got in shape, became really rich and is now living out all his dreams, whereas before they broke up, he had no ambition and was a total schlub.
"She's a dream killer" was my first thought. She was actually pretty cute but I couldn't shake the "dream killer" in my head.
[–]FirmFirefighter1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
nice feeling, cant beat it!
[–]DrExtra1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It feels good and empowering when you get to that point. Empowering? We are allowed to use that word right? You know us being men and all jk.
[–]BNSoul1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
NPD women can destroy your life, they want to see you suffering so they can feel better about themselves. This girl had a double life and had a "relationship" with me while she was married to this other guy, we even had a kid together! They're pathological liars, they gaslight you and make your brain spin, they will claim you're crazy, controlling and abusive, they will cheat, they are extremely manipulative and self-centered, you will never get to know them, you will only know the fake persona they use to make you feel the best man in the world just to discard you like useless trash somewhere along the road. You will end up fucked up wondering what the hell happened, no closure, just a miserable pile of lies and extreme coldness.
[–]DoctorDickey82 points83 points84 points 5 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
So true, when I got divorced she said “I will be single for awhile I’m not looking or ready for anything” not even a month and a half later after separating she’s in a relationship with my friend. Fuckin sluts man, but I overcame my battles and came out on top.
[–]grizzer9918 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sluts ain't worth it man. Glad to see you came out on top
[–]Super-Shredder16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I heard the "I just need to be alone right" lol suuuuuure. Heard she's banging someone else a month later. Same dude that was oddly hanging around with her and her friends in a near empty bar when I met up with her at a bar 3 days before I got dumped. Slimey.
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Your ‘friend’ sounds like backstabbing c*** too.
[–]DoctorDickey9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I cut him off and everyone around town stopped talking to him too, I went viral for a divorce cake so everyone knew my situation and saw how big of a douche he was
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Seems more personal from a friend that’s a guy. It’s like we kind of expect it of women but for a male friend to cheat on you it breaks the male moral code. We are essentially more loyal than women are.
[–]DoctorDickey7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I saw him the week before they posted pics online at a bar and he came up and told me how sorry he was to hear about it. Told me he’s there if I need him, just total shitbag
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
He’s lost a valuable friendship all for intimacy with a woman that will discard him if a better prospect came up. I think you gained something from this initial bad situation. It possibly led you to red pill awareness (unless you were already aware?) and you found out who your real friends were along the way.
[–]DoctorDickey3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
The whole divorce lead me to it, I found Romi Tomassi or however you spell it book also and they helped. The guy has since then been dumped and I have found a wonderful girl who is mutual beneficial in all aspects. I’ve gotten a tighter friend group also, my one year divorce was a year ago this month so it’s been a little bit
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I’m glad things are looking up for you man. Sometimes we have to weather a storm before we can enjoy the sun.
[–]DoctorDickey1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for that! Hope all is well with you moving forward also!
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thanks man. I’m still in the storm but remaining stoic in the face of adversity. Mainly thanks to the Tomassi book. Changed my self pitying beta mindset wholesale. My marriage has been on the decline for as long as I can remember. It may be coming to an end (not through any cheating as far as I’m aware). Mainly because I started to grow a backbone and tell her I’m not putting up with her attitude anymore. The beta me would have been destroyed but the new me thinks what will be will be and I’ll just keep focusing my energy on my own development either way. Basically my life doesn’t revolve around her anymore and hasn’t for a while now. The good thing is she knows I really don’t care if we split. Whereas before the beta fear of a split gave her power over me. Now I have the power (he-man lol).
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had a friend like that who was shagging another friend’s girlfriend behind his back. We all distanced ourselves from the cheater friend and my mate dumped the girlfriend too.
[–]meerita6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex said exactly the same. That she was not looking for anything, she wanted to reorganize herself and bang!, after 20 days, my friend send me a picture it was her Tinder profile. I message her telling "wtf is this?" she said "it was a joke with my friends last nite, i deleted the app i dont need that", her profile was still active. I told her to get the fuck off my life.
[–]Dooti0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This same thing happened to me. It first thing I think about when I wake up, how she could betray me with my friend and how he could do that too. Felt like a double betrayal. Worst feeling ever.
[–]Jugrnot80 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In my experiences I've always seem a women has a new ship to jump in before jumping off the old one.
The old I'm going to stay away from guys for a while is a very common one.
[–]mgtowfox60 points61 points62 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
This is undeniably true. That’s why Nietzsche thought of pain as a catalyst for men to become who they should be and achieve self actualization. That’s also the reason why he didn’t drink alcohol and from time to time would only have a glass of milk: he thought —correctly— that drugs numb us to pain, and that pain is a catalyst for growth.
That picture encapsulates very deep truths.
[–]PolukranosEatsWords18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's an old idea. Something similar in ancient Chinese and Greek philosophy.
There's a quote from Mencius that goes something like "when heaven is about to confer an important office upon a man, it first embitters it's purpose in his soul. It makes him suffer want and hunger. It turns his bones and sinews. In this way, it steals his nature and makes him accomplish what he otherwise would have been incapable of"
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I love Nietzsche and I too have committed to total sobriety!
[–]mgtowfox5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same as I. Will be a year soon since I completely quit alcohol! I feel great!
[–]fruguy5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What's wrong with milk?
[–]RedHattedPhilomath7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nowadays, a lot of milk has too much estrogen in it because of the way it was produced. Look it up, it’s wuite interesting.
Also look up Xenoestrogens.
[–]FutureSquall32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When it's the guy who dumps her..
She crys foul and for attention
She claims abuse and demands the knights and/or police get her ex a.k.a violence by proxy.
Guy is alone with target on his back.
I can confirm this.
I'll also add that having red pilled friends is a fucking life saver, they'll still be your friends, they'll ALLOW you to defend yourself, they'll hate the girl's guts and they'll protect you until the very end regardless of what she says.
[–]TheObelisk29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Not to mention, when you're doing the dumping the girls flip the absolute fuck out. I've had them throwing clothes, dry-heaving, accusing me of ruining their life, ect.
[–]TheObelisk15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah they think you're bluffing because how could you live your life without them?
[–]SamsAdvice15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The second option is...always be okay with them breaking up with you. "Oh okay, I just want you to be happy. I'm sure you would want the same(they never want this), take care."
Women don't like it when you are okay with them dumping you.
[–]TheObelisk11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Oh i know. They want you to fight for them. I was once told, "If someone is trying to dump you-- let them." I found it very wise and dignifying. You want to go? Fine, then go, but don't you dare come crawling back; you made your decision now live with it.
[–]SamsAdvice14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is where I use the saying "The woman is always right".
I prefer to be cordial...always happy, polite, and considerate....but also indifferent.
"You are right we should break up. I just want you to be happy. Take care." Watch her do more mental gymnastics than you'll see at a circus.
[–]blississolitude4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you made your decision now live with it
Huey knew
[–]Satyricon623 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
In the long run, if the man can overcome the hurt he will be tempered like steel. He is forced to reflect on his actions and choices during the relationship. Even so, the scars will always he there as a reminder to not make the same mistake. I do my best not to revisit them to often. Better to move on with your life.
[–]SamsAdvice5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Reminds me of the phrase "I don't think I can fall in love(again)."-tempered steel. Incapable of falling in love.
[–]Zealomon21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It actually terrified me how unaffected she acted when she was done with me. It’s probably one of the reasons why I have trust issues to this day.
[–]Atriplex12411 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Same expierence and I had a daughter with mine. It's like all those years meant nothing to them. It's weird....one minute your like a complete stranger to her.
[–]Doc_Sithicus10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nope, it does not work that way. They're not happy, they fall out of love and branch swing to another guy - but on the surface everything is as it was. You think you're living a happy life together but she has long checked out. Then she's ready to leave and you're the one that's standing there shellshocked.
[–]Raider_Scavver7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
AWALT. Women do not experience love, only men do. That's why they can flip it like a light switch.
[–]BeckyLynchIsBetter12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My ex dumped me. Same day she did it, she started talking with some guy. (Her highschool crush). Days later, she fucks him. Imagine how fucking heartbroken that made me. While I was still battling with the fact that she left me, she already was fucking around.
[–]ecommerceseoguy0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bluepill ego.
[–]its_meKnightSwolaire14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea man I got dumped by the girl I thought I was gonna be with forever. We lived together from ages 23-28... got a dog together. Her brother now plays for the LA Galaxy MLS team.
You have no idea of the mental and physical transformation that I have undergone while she has gone head first into the wall.
[–]KarosGraveyard11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Broke up with my ex about two years ago because she needed to “find herself” and “grow as her own person” (TM). I never even let her finish her breakup monologue on me, turned around and walked away forever.
Blocked her ass on every social media platform I used, ghosted her hard, and never looked back.
I was purplepilled back then, so my bluepilled cuck programming was telling me to be sad and miserable. But my redpill self slowly turned that sadness to anger, then channeled that anger into improving myself physically and intellectually.
Never looked back since. And I smothered my bluepilled self to death in its sleep.
[–]RevolutionaryPea78 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And therein lies the reason men are the great achievers of this world. A man who doesn't learn to improve, to better himself, is simply forgotten. If a man does nothing, he is simply another cock in a sea of cocks. Men learn music, form bands, learn to build, become engineers, learn how the world works, become scientists and businessmen. We're descended from women who opened their legs; we're descended from men who built empires.
Beautifully written.
[–]Saturn19816 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Break ups are the best time to level-up in life
[–]volvostupidshit1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I consider them as blessing.
[–]CastandRefused7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The game is rigged.
[–]newyorker18186 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
While I try to avoid generalizations, I've noticed majority of women post breakup rely heavily on reassurance by everyone around them. Men tend to seek self assurance from within. Now obviously there's exceptions to this, but I feel men tend to hold the advantage in these cases.
[–]harrison_wheels6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This happened to me. I was crying nonstop, threw up from anxiety sickness a few times, couldn't sleep for days, etc. She was cold, condescending, made advances on my friend in less than a month and sent him unsolicited nudes.
Whores have no loyalty.
[–]cue_zephyr5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I broke up with my girlfriend 1.5 years ago. She wanted me back but I held it off. I realized what she did to me and how I just let it happen. She appears to have found a new beta. I reluctantly kept off women and it's been great. Slowly getting my life more together than it's ever been. :)
[–]double-happiness5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My ex literally went from telling me i was "adorable" and that she "loved me" one weekend, to breaking up (by text) the very next weekend. All over me insisting on getting a vasectomy, according to her. Woman, you can't have another kid at age 40, and I can't afford to pay for one either... SMH
[–]jp_mra0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She only saw you as a sperm bank and an ATM.
[–]double-happiness0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
an ATM
lol, she was shit out of luck there, if that was the case!
[–]SSTEAS6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
I am among the rare ones who ran away from the plantation while the relationship was still in progress. My first taste at "love". This was 2015-2016.
I was 20, she was 19. Relationship/engagement lasted 4 months from start to finish.
Fucked her, fucked her mom, broke the news to her dad (only that the ex and I fucked - I didn't wanna sink the entire battleship, and to this very day I still don't think he knows he got cucked).
They called on me and the ex to expedite the marriage (they were all Catholics) since the "Providence had been intercepted". We got engaged 2/1/16 and I was out of their life by 3/10/16 - less than 40 days lmao
When they said "we'll have to get a priest involved to figure out our options" I said "lmao I'm into you but I'm not that into you" and ran out with my sanity intact the next morning, never to return.
That relationship was the closest I've been to Hell. A warzone. It was a prison sentence hand-delivered to me from the deepest, most nightmarish flaming chamber of Dante's Inferno.
Went on to become a porn star, and found the light that is MGTOW. Bettered myself financially too.
At 23, I will never get into another relationship again. Next month will be 3 years. If I've been single this long, while having more fun than I ever did in a relationship, I'll have no problem keeping the trend going for the rest of my life.
This sub is the best.
TL;DR - Women. Not even once.
[–]volvostupidshit2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is what the incels don't get. They overvalue pussy so when they don't get one they get upset. Oh boy if only they stop listening to what society is trying to feed about getting women and your self worth.
[–]SSTEAS0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right on. Guys who have never had a relationship, yet badly want one, are way too stupid to understand what they're getting themselves into.
[–]TrojanPiece5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's how I was transformed.
[–]hanskywalk3r4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In the process of transforming. It's not easy but I needed to see this today, so thank you for posting
[–]wisdom_of_Solomon3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So glad I'm out of the game
[–]CrapStraw4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This happened to me. I decided to work on changing ME since I could control that. Started eating ridiculously healthy (counting out almonds as portions of snacks, etc), worked out religiously, and in one year had women throwing themselves at me but decided to not stick with only one, and I made my own rules. I won, my ex lost (she had kids and hit the wall).
[–]call_me_sensei2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
It's fucked up how much power a woman has in this day and age SMH
-she joins a few dating apps and instantly finds 100s of guys wanting her.
-Enters nightclubs without paying
-random men buying her drinks
-she doesn't even have to work hard and save up, she can just find a man who has it all checked off.
-she can easily become an escort or model and start making 100 Hr
-she can easily explore her BI side and everyone around her drools.
For us MEN it's like a jungle out there we have to kill or be killed.
[–]meerita1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Amen.
[–]Diversitydeath171 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How does he win? The only reason he needs to transform is because of stupid shit.
I've always found that way of looking at things odd and foolish.
[–]hrm08940 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Adversity forces you to adapt. He transforms and becomes smarter, which allows him to maneuver the world better.
[–]Diversitydeath170 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That logic is so odd. "It's a good thing there's shitty people so you can meet shitty people who teach you how to deal with shitty people."
[–]AntiAbleism1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Get fucked over, you have to fight back.
[–]theasshole9991 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
DAMN STRAIGHT!!!
[–]Darkkdrifter1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I needed this Veni vedi Vici!
[–]kayfab1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And MGTOW was born..... been there done that and yeah fuck those bitches
[–]517732RB1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
5 th year in MGTOW life! It is revolutionary!
[–]ionutmihai71 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dude that's so damn true. I recall the posting new pics so clearly. 0 fucks were given that day.
[–]cyclops880 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Disregard females and aquire wealth!
[–]robowriter0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When it happened I didn't have what she wanted at the moment: drugs, paid rent, enough status and money, some position, time to waste, and so on. I'd take it personally, but it's not. Just a question of supply and demand and tit-for-tat.
When very young working in bands I'd get "I want to sing in a band," and so on. 95 percent of the time they had no talent and I would say "no you suck," and that's that. It was over at that point, not that I cared it was a good way to bail after the ride.
It was more complicated later, and never connected it all up while working in some boring but well paid adult job yet still falling short. In every case they'd enjoy any mental anguish as they perceive you wasting their time; they're working here making a deal.
Well that deals done, the ship has sailed. We've jumped out of their crashing plane with a parachute called mgtow.
[–]windinthesail0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She has all the options. No need to change herself.
Up until the point when she wakes up one day and realizes... she has changed. And suddenly her options aren't there anymore.
© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]wwstewart242 points243 points244 points (76 children) | Copy Link
[–]Super-Shredder56 points57 points58 points (66 children) | Copy Link
[–]wwstewart95 points96 points97 points (65 children) | Copy Link
[–]Super-Shredder48 points49 points50 points (50 children) | Copy Link
[–]FirmFirefighter39 points40 points41 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]cilantromakesmepuke11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedSkeller1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wwstewart24 points25 points26 points (41 children) | Copy Link
[–]Raygar2115 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StatisticaPizza15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]wwstewart13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Raygar214 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Super-Shredder5 points6 points7 points (34 children) | Copy Link
[–]FirmFirefighter10 points11 points12 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Raygar215 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Raygar210 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wwstewart7 points8 points9 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (5 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Raygar216 points7 points8 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]johnnynix181 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]cleats4u7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Raygar211 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]101001101001011001012 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]wwstewart2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Natsume241 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PolukranosEatsWords0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wwstewart4 points5 points6 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Raygar211 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]fruguy1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Raygar211 point2 points3 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]wwstewart3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Raygar212 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Raygar211 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]wwstewart0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Raygar210 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lastlaugh1001 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RokhumanZero1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Glorpazoid0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RubixCubeDonut1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Glorpazoid0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Crankshaft13376 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]wwstewart1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Natsume240 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Doc_Sithicus2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wwstewart0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]shammylamby1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]wwstewart1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]shammylamby1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]wwstewart0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]shammylamby1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TrojanPiece1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]johnnynix181 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TrojanPiece4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DrExtra4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]JonL94511 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FirmFirefighter1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DrExtra1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BNSoul1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DoctorDickey82 points83 points84 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]grizzer9918 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Super-Shredder16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]DoctorDickey9 points10 points11 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]DoctorDickey7 points8 points9 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]DoctorDickey3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]DoctorDickey1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]meerita6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dooti0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jugrnot80 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mgtowfox60 points61 points62 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]PolukranosEatsWords18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]mgtowfox5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fruguy5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RedHattedPhilomath7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FutureSquall32 points33 points34 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheObelisk29 points30 points31 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (5 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]TheObelisk15 points16 points17 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]SamsAdvice15 points16 points17 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheObelisk11 points12 points13 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SamsAdvice14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]blississolitude4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Satyricon623 points24 points25 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SamsAdvice5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zealomon21 points22 points23 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Atriplex12411 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Doc_Sithicus10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Raider_Scavver7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BeckyLynchIsBetter12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ecommerceseoguy0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]its_meKnightSwolaire14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KarosGraveyard11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RevolutionaryPea78 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Saturn19816 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]volvostupidshit1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CastandRefused7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]newyorker18186 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]harrison_wheels6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cue_zephyr5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]double-happiness5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]jp_mra0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]double-happiness0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SSTEAS6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]volvostupidshit2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SSTEAS0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TrojanPiece5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hanskywalk3r4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wisdom_of_Solomon3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CrapStraw4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]call_me_sensei2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]meerita1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Diversitydeath171 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]hrm08940 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Diversitydeath170 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AntiAbleism1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]theasshole9991 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Darkkdrifter1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kayfab1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]517732RB1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ionutmihai71 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cyclops880 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]robowriter0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]windinthesail0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link