I was at the bar last night with a friend and met a few girls. We sat together at a table and talked for a few hours. They seemed polite at first, except for one of the girls who started arguing with me about politics and subsequently stated "I have a masters in speech pathology honey, so I think I know what I'm talking about." I will call this girl Speech Pathologist Girl, or shorthand "SPG" because she was the most obnoxious member of the group and as you'll read, speech pathology became a recurring theme.

After hours at the bar, and then a visit to the pizza shop.. We were all ready to go home. It was -10 degrees out and these girls decided to stand outside and order an Uber. I offered them a ride home. They weren't far, my car was parked close, and I figured I'd save them a $20 Uber trip.

They accepted and we headed to my car.

Now, just as a background.. I don't own a nice car by any means. When I was 22 my friend gave me his old car for FREE, and it was passed down to him from a close friend. SO the car kind of has a sentimental aspect and I am actually in the process of passing it down to one of my close friends who in in desperate need of a car and appreciates it immensely. It is not a beautiful ride. 1999 Nissan Altima.. But hey, it was free so who really cares?

I'm not a very materialistic person. The most expensive clothing I purchased was when I worked my first job out of college and "splurged" on a $50 Tommy Hilfiger windbreaker. I thought it looked so cool. But typically I'm not the type to judge people based on material things, and I don't feel insecure about the things I have. For reference, I've been wearing the same raggedy Clemson hoodie for about two months now. So for me what happened next caught me really off gaurd.

We got to my car.. one of the girls hops in, but SPG takes one look and says so condescendingly "I am not getting in to THAT." Her friend was already in the car... So I said "do you want a ride home or not." After attempting to convince her friend they should take an Uber instead, she finally relented and got in the back seat. Lucky for her, her friend had a little more sense.

We were on our way to driving my friend who I came with to his car that was about a mile away. In that time SPG would not shut the fuck up about my car. "That screeching is the transmission" she said.. no it's the S-belt, I need to get it replaced. "Who would drive something this shitt" Well, it was free.. so.. "Can you not afford a good car?"... I'm like.. it was free and it's a good car... (funny thing is I am getting a new car.. but I didn't even mention that I was just done with her antics.

Finally, as we were approaching my friend's car to drop him off, the night climaxed in a total screaming match between me and SPG. I think I started it by saying "You keep giving me shit about my car, if you don't like it take an Uber" and she flipped out... "Honey, I am a speech pathologist, I am more successful than you, I am smarter than you, and I have a nicer car than you, so don't give me that tone or talk down to me." At that point I pulled the car over, turned around to face her and yelled "Oh, sorry.. didn't know speech pathology was fucking rocket science. You went to a two year program at a state school? Not that fucking hard, anyone can do what you do so stop acting like people need to recognize your self validating stupid fucking talking degree."

She looked so ruined and she goes "well I make more money-".. I didn't let her finish with "than you," I just put my hand up gesturing her to stop talking and said in a stern voice "I don't fucking care. You're nobody special. Get out of my car"

SO my dumbass friend, blinded by the prospect of potentially hooking up with one of them, drives them home... And as they got out, he followed them (because his car was close at that point) and I hear him say to SPG "Don't worry, I have a 2018 Camry" and I thought....et tu brute?

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