Not going to bore you all with the details. Suffice it to say had a HB8 Plate spinning about 3 years ago. When I broke it off with her she immediately (was already branch swinging) married a soldier. Dude seemed like a good guy who spent about half the year in Afghanistan on and off. Was single dad for 3 kids too. So Plate jumps his bones, they get married, he heads off overseas again as a private contractor making well over six figures.

Now I haven't heard much from this crazy bitch in years. Suddenly this last weekend she blows my phone up with sexy pics and invitational voicemails. I wait a couple days to respond simply asking her what's up and why the sudden reconnect. Thus began the trickle truth of two days of texting that I will attempt to summarize chronologically below in bullet points.

  • She has missed me and the amazing sex we used to have.
  • Her and soldier boy aren't together anymore. He hated how much of his money she spent while he was away.
  • She is single now and taking care of herself and going back to school to focus on herself.
  • She is making it on her own now and doesn't need a man, but wants to have lunch with me sometime (if I can behave).
  • She is a little sick in bed.
  • She broke up with soldier 4 days ago. The day he came back from Afghanistan!
  • Turns out he was away too long and she "fell out of love".
  • She is currently living with a friend.
  • Friend is actually her new boyfriend.
  • New boyfriend is 5 years younger (she is 29 he is 24).
  • She is nauseous because she may be pregnant with his baby.

This girl is witty, charming, funny, and beautiful. The AFC would be putty in her hands and think he won a prize. Don't be fooled RP Nation. AWALT.

TLDR: LIFT!