Pet Theories and New/Unfinished Ideas Megathread April 03

-drukpa-kunley- · 2017-04-03T20:23:17+00:00

I'm proposing a refinement/addition to the "Right now I feel like" prefix.

When a woman is speaking about her emotions, we all know to mentally prefix all of her statements with "Right now I feel like..."

Example: Right now I feel like I will love you forever

That works for emotions. However when dealing with alleged facts, we need to use a different prefix. So whenever a woman is speaking about facts, you should mentally prepend a different prefix" "I want you to believe that"

Examples:
I want you to believe that I'm not seeing anybody else
I want you to believe that Kissing that guy at the party didn't mean anything!
I want you to believe that I'm pregnant. It's yours.

ColdIceZero · 2017-04-03T14:17:53+00:00

A joint study was done from the University of Texas at Austin and the University of Oklahoma. Their findings state that sharing common dislikes creates stronger social bonds than sharing common likes.

Much of my experiences with friends gives me the impression that nonsexual relationships are largely predicated on the need for survival. Truly, "the enemy of my enemy is my friend." If one or both of us do not feel threatened by the same force as the other, then our friendship will wane.

This explains why friendships after high school fall apart once high school is completed. At the time, everyone faced the same common enemy: high school. Once high school was no longer a factor, no one needed each other for their perceived survival.

I also believe that the intensity of the survival threat directly correlates to the strength of the bond. When I was briefly in the military, the relationships I had with the guys in my unit were much stronger than the bonds I had with friends outside of the military, even though the guys in my unit were not the type of guys that I would have normally hung out with in the real world.

I've spent a lot of time wondering why it's so difficult for men to foster friendships as they age. There is no shortage of articles written about this subject.

I believe the answer lies in sharing a common perceived enemy with someone. People aren't drawn together; we're pushed together by external threats. As social animals, we band together to improve our individual chance of survival. But if there isn't a common threat, then there isn't any force that causes us to build social bonds with one another.

I believe the necessary conditions for a nonsexual relationship to manifest is predicated on the following:

A common enemy. Separately, both individuals must realize that some external force is a threat to their individual survival. If either person does not view that external stimuli as a threat or is otherwise unaware of the external stimuli, then a relationship cannot develop.
The strength of the social bond is directly related to the intensity of the perceived threat. You will never be as close to your at-work friends as you will that group of assholes in the military.
The strength of the social bond is inversely related to an individual's ability to escape from the threatening circumstances, meaning the easier it is for any one person to escape, then the weaker the social bond you will have with that person. Inversely, the harder it is for both of you to escape, the stronger your social bond can be with that person. High school, the military, prison... these are places where strong social bonds develop. Your at-work friends will never be as close to you as your prison friends (at least, while you're in prison) because you or your at-work friend have the power to leave work of their own volition. You can't leave prison when you want.
Once the perceived threat passes and is no longer shared by both members, the relationship will wane.

The next step for me is to determine how to use this framework to better connect with other people.

ColdIceZero.com

Edit: I believe this analysis also applies to LTRs. LTRs are not solely predicated on sexual attraction. LTRs are a mix between a sexual and nonsexual relationship. If she feels like she doesn't need you for her survival and/or she feels like she can leave at any time, then your LTR will wane.

Terdmuffin · 2017-04-03T17:50:21+00:00

Recently a fwbs cat was in heat and it kinds of struck me that women are like cats in heat... They don't make the move they present themselves to have moves made on them. I think a lot of guys are waiting for the "right moment" when she is obviously making her intentions known before they make a move but a lot of guys can't see that women are almost always presenting themselves. Girls are a lot less overt than guys so most guys don't get that. I know a lot of people here state that girls don't make moves so guys need to, but guys don't realize women ate almost always open to be approached. I feel like the cat analogy isn't really anything revolutionary and I'm not sure if it warrants it's own post but I feel like it's something good to keep in mind.

2dogsandpizza · 2017-04-03T21:36:18+00:00

Women hate you if you love them no matter what.

Sounds batshit and that's because it is. While this is a perfectly sweet and innocent thing to say, when it hits a girls eardrums they can't help but read further into it than 99% of guys would think is possible. The hamster once again fires into overdrive.

When you say this, what they hear is "I am completely ok settling for you". To a girl this means that they rated you too highly to begin with and so they immediately bring your rating down to their level. As we all know guys date down and women date up, but once you're on the same level attraction dies.

Once again in on phone so I'm going to stop there. I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on that and maybe help me flesh it out a bit.

cucumber_vaccine · 2017-04-04T07:37:12+00:00

Do you give value, or receive it?

Background: I used to dance quite often, and I was starting to get pretty good at it. After a certain point, I became good enough that I was getting asked to dance instead of the other way around. Instead of consuming value that other people brought to the space, I'd started to throw off value that other people wanted to consume. By the time I quit, I'd got to the point where I could lock eyes with a girl, walk across the floor, take her hand and start dancing, the local "affirmative consent" policies be damned. (Others were doing better still: they could show up and have the hottest girls on the floor line up to dance all night.) After taking a long break, I noticed that I'd slid back to being a consumer of value again.

Reflecting on this, I've seen it happen in other places: new jobs are a standout example.

Theory: Imagine a line running left to right:

On the left are the consumers of value. This ranges from the extreme left where you're essentially invisible, but if a man on this part of the axis you has to make bids for attention and consume someone else's value (see: asking for a dance)
Just right of centre you have people starting to produce value. People in this space often devalue themselves because they are not yet comfortable with the value they generate, instead trying to pass around their new value for consumption.
As a man moves to the right and settles into his role as value-generator, people have to start making bids for his value and he can now choose how to spend it. On the extreme end of this path is the abundant man whose value overflows. He does not have to guard it or spend it as carefully, secure in the knowledge that there will be other opportunities to transact with it. In the dance context, this most often happens with the teachers: they overflow with value and can spend it dancing with awkward novices without losing an appreciable amount, because they will never be mistaken for a value-consumer.
These value axes are multi-dimensional. A man with great dance skills but no social game is pretty clearly at different points on each axis.

Giving value and getting nothing back is charity; doing it in excess is desparation. Consuming value and giving nothing in return is begging. The best result is when people all bring high value and exchange it with each other.

To be clear, when I talk about transacting with value, I don't mean money. The BB tries to do that but it never works. What is the explanation for the apparent contradiction? Perhaps money is like time? If you spend time too freely on one person, they'll realise that your time has little value (how else could they acquire it so easily?).

Selassie_eye · 2017-04-03T18:19:54+00:00

I read a post (can't link it because FUCK AUTOMOD) about how dopamine is released before work is started and ends after you begin. The post itself was concerned with the dopamine rush that women get when thinking about potential mates, but I was more concerned about the implications in my life. Now, obviously we want to end our unhealthy relationship w dopamine (video games, memes and porn are my big 3) but I think we can also use dopamine as a tool to steer our lives in the right direction.

This weekend, despite having several other things to do, I got caught up in the (the thing where you make a picture FUCK AUTOMOD) fiasco and was determined to leave my mark (check my post history for a sad chronicle of my fruitless attempts). I spent way more time trying to organize people, scouting locations for my art and placing tiles than I'd care to admit, but one of the biggest things that drove me was the idea of leaving my mark on the canvas. It didn't matter that every tile I placed was instantly replaced, I was high on the idea of what I was about to do. My dopamine kept me locked to that stupid timesink, and I was too weak to unfix myself from it. This is the trap of "mental masturbation," where we fixate on things, often pointless, that we want to do, like making disappearing art or posting trivial observations on a vilified subreddit, irrespective of the outcome. This can lead people like myself to lives of very low value.

Here's how I think we can use "mental masturbation" to our benefit; today, I have a plan to guide my actions by mindfully using the pre-action dopamine spike to assist in execution. I walk a lot, almost everywhere since I live on a college campus, and I recently ditched my phone so I have a lot of introspective moments in my day. Normally I try to keep a clear head and take action without overthinking it to avoid the dopamine trap, but today on those long walks I'm going to practice a meditation where the value-creating action I'm about to participate in is my mantra. Whenever I find my mind wandering I will turn my mind to whatever task I am walking towards, how it will benefit me and how I'm going to execute it. My hope is that this will create a little dopamine moment for me that will help me break away from the dopamine abuse caused by my big 3 while pushing me to create more value in my life.

Once I begin the task, it will be a matter of will to complete it, but for me getting there is 60% of the battle so I hope this will give me an advantage. If this works I will definitely make a better post that I hope you will all appreciate, and if not I hope that you all will still answer my "am i a beta for letting her fuck my coworkers" posts ;)

TL;DR: Gonna try using the dopamine spike experienced before a task to push me to action

RedPope · 2017-04-04T07:37:43+00:00

Communication is only 7% verbal. The other 93% is tone, body language, and subtext. If you respond to the substance of a shit test, even if you're completely correct on every point, your score is 7 out of 100. Congratulations. You flunked.

This is why you never "won" an argument with your ex-GF. You failed when you lost your cool and entered her frame.

(7% from some soft science bullshit article I read years ago. Don't get lost focusing on the number. Doesn't matter if it's 20, 30, or even 40. It still ain't a passing grade.)

randomperson123321 · 2017-04-04T09:34:13+00:00

Social standing relates to the kind of society you're in.

To change your standing you either:

Adapt to said society.
Leave for another society more similar to your liking if unable or unwilling to adapt.
Change your current society to your liking. This requires the greatest amount of resources.

Terdmuffin · 2017-04-04T11:31:06+00:00

I think a lot of effort is placed on bagging the hottest girl regardless of how well she acts and treats you, but I've found the most fulfilling relationships to be with girls who aren't super hot, and are probably lower than me on a 1-10 scale. Girls who constantly feel the need to earn your attention make good partners. Sure that can be achieved while "dating up" with proper Methods but "dating down" a point or two makes it so much easier. Especially in a long term non exclusive fwb type relationship it's nice to have a girl that will treat you really well without the constant shit tests that can come from 8s or 9s. Sometimes a 6 or 7 is just easier to deal with on a regular basis and that alone makes the entire relationship more enjoyable.

Title	Pet Theories and New/Unfinished Ideas Megathread April 03
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	26
Comments	36
Date	April 3, 2017 1:12 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/636o32/pet_theories_and_newunfinished_ideas_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/pet-theories-and-newunfinished-ideas-megathread.42385 https://theredarchive.com/post/42385

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