Being assaulted my a man in my youth turned me into a beta.

MisterOrigon · 2017-05-03T06:49:52+00:00

I think it would be worthwhile for you to start weight training, increasing your physical size and strength, as well as training in a martial art.

The subconscious knowledge that if someone tried to hurt you, you could win, will give you tons of confidence. Once you feel you're in a place like this, travel somewhere far from home, completely alone, and see how easy it is.

Experiences like this build your confidence because they give you a, "If I can do this, I can do anything" rationale.

aanarchist · 2017-05-03T10:13:20+00:00

being abused by my father turned me into a beta. it got a lot better after finding a healthy male role model and beating my father back when i got older. i have this theory that having a father that is too dark triad turns a man either into a sociopath or a beta. either he becomes a copy of his father or he aspires to be the opposite of his father and goes overboard not understanding what healthy masculine virtue is.

look at the end of the day bro anyone can get beat up or stabbed or shot to death. no one is safe not even military veterans. things like going outside carries a risk of dying even to some freak accident like a car running over you etc. it might be good to find a therapist and talk this stuff out to help you process it. your anxiety and depression is a combination of past trauma and fear of the future. you're gonna have to deal with the trauma before you can look forward without fear again. nothing to be ashamed of you just have a mental wound that you have to heal. and don't worry about the dudes on here giving you shit, there's an 80/20 rule at trp, which means even dudes who read red pill, 80% of them are going to be betas and thus are going to try to amog you for internet points.

sadguy88 · 2017-05-03T07:16:14+00:00

That has to suck. I was turned Into a loser due constant beating and humiliation from my parents.

aanarchist · 2017-05-03T09:20:01+00:00

When TRP is better than wasting your money on a dumb slut therapist.

-Lowbrow- · 2017-05-03T14:50:16+00:00

You're on the right path.

Next: Join a MMA/Krav Maga/Sistema gym. Stop the porn - it's poison that will weaken you. Put good things in your mind to cultivate strength of character and thinking. Talk to people.

Your goal - and the ultimate thing that will make you "alpha" - is to eventually become confident. Doesn't matter how you look, how much money you have, what your IQ is: confidence beats it all.

greatslyfer · 2017-05-03T13:47:10+00:00

So yeah, as other people here, being beat/abused by parents kind of made me in to a beta. Maybe that's not the whole story but yea wouldn't be surprised if it contributed a whole lot to my timidness and having the "be-as-unnoticeable-as-possible" body language.

Or maybe I'm just rationalizing.

NeoreactionSafe · 2017-05-03T13:51:05+00:00

Weight lifting and probably some MMA.

You need to be more able to fight and have the confidence to fight.

No real mystery how to solve this.

Tragic story, but not that uncommon.

[deleted] · 2017-05-03T12:00:29+00:00

Start training mma. Your confidence will skyrocket I guarantee it.

smokecheck1976 · 2017-05-03T18:13:36+00:00

The advice here to lift weights and take some sort of self-defense training is solid. Don't stop there.

Different shit effects different people to different degrees in different ways. The guy that went through three battles, lived under the fear of death, and even saw his close friends became wounded and die might have no real problem with any of it. The same guy may be first on the scene of an auto accident where someone has died and have that effect him far worse. Go to a psychologist and talk things out. It doesn't make you weak. It may heal the wound you seem to have from the incident.

studentsensei · 2017-05-04T19:11:04+00:00

I feel it man.

I joined the wrestling team my senior year in high school. I was (still am) short, about 5'6. But at the time I was a little stocky as well. I lost a lot of weight while on the team and one day I was in the locker room changing out when one of my teammates came in too. He was a sophomore and he was 7 inches taller and at least 150 pounds more than me. He was kind of like the clown of the team as in everyone teased him including the coach. He started trying to horse play around with me but he got way too touchy and I tried to fight back but he was just way too big and heavy. I wasn't raped but I was definitely sexually assaulted and it made me feel lower than dirt. Not only was I incapable of defending myself, but I was physically violated as well by someone younger than me.

He groped and dry humped me continuously until he suddenly stopped and said that he "didn't like it" and walked away. He just walked out as if he had sampled some food he didn't want like. I immediately quit the team and avoided him every chance I got. I gained most of the weight back and I ended up joining the Navy after I graduated so that I could run as far away from home as possible.

Experiences like that stick with you forever and can shape you into something that you necessarily don't want to be. I was fearful, insecure and avoidant. My libido dipped into the negatives as in for the first 3 years of my adult life I never had sex not because of scarcity but because of what had happened. It wasn't PTSD but it was more like I had no desire to anymore. It was a genuine lack of desire up until when I turned 21 and had sex with a stripper.

However, through lifting, and finding a purpose with my life I was able to overcome the trauma and move on to become the man that I wanted to be. I'm not there yet but still I feel like I should be the best I can be for me and that little high school senior me who was powerless to defend himself.

Katavasis · 2017-05-05T18:27:19+00:00

Yup.It's one of those things.You are almost out of childhood,almost without trauma ,but BAM,something terrible happens(at least terrible for you).

I regard childhood as the base of your life.Whatever happens there,stays always underneath your 'adult' emotions,undermining them and eventually bleeding through your real life,as is evident by your experience. They only way to fix this,is to get on that ladder and go all the way down,go back and repair that hole.It's the shadow Jung talks about.We all have one. I am glad you mention you get bursts of T some days,but later you feel tired.You feel tired because you are inconsistent with your attitude and temperament,you experience cognitive dissonance in a very deep level.

If i even dare give advice to such a personal matter: 1) You can get therapy if you are not comfortable talking about it with someone irl 2) You've pretty much done this.Indulge in TRP,but don't lose yourself,by streaming flase data to try and mask the problem(i.e don't overcompensate) 3) Time.Period.This needs time.

Juan-San · 2017-05-03T06:52:33+00:00

The day it all changed was the day a man grabbed me by the arm in the street and tried to abduct me

By you logic, countries like Venezuela must be filled by pussies, you know, with the absurdly high crime rates and whatever.

Grow a pair. The sidebar teaches you how.

Whitehowlite · 2017-05-03T14:10:38+00:00

Self-mastery must be refined. Trauma that has not been healed finds its roots to tendril into deeper layers psychologically and spiritually.

You'll need to face the core of it. Perhaps a small dose of mushrooms, it's about knowing yourself. You were stripped off your power because you literally actualized the exchange of power from a man who had malicious intent. That's a scar you can fix.

Weights, psychedelics, meditation, friendships, ventilation and keep your lifeforce in. Nothing biologically has been altered, mind over matter, stop acting like a bitch because there was a time in your life where you fucking weren't. For the addicted and damaged, it's all about reverting to the original, stable self. Be your FUCKING ORIGINAL.

bolupua · 2017-05-03T17:35:45+00:00

I jack to porn and also fuck a lot. Cant help it.

I got beat up when I was young, by my father (got physical scars) and other people that left worse scars.

Also got into prison and got beat up by cops (lol nothing serious I was trespassing) that was scary but didn't affect my character, if anything, it made me less afraid of cops.

I don't think a single event can change your character that much. You were always that way.

BTW I got into weight lifting and jiu jitsu. I mostly forgot about it, didn't gave me any extra confidence but I can see people notice my "fighter type" body shape and treat me with respect/fear, and I'm only 5'9.

[deleted] · 2017-05-03T21:38:29+00:00

Could you fix your title?

sc1690 · 2017-05-04T01:32:37+00:00

You need to get your self esteem back. Hit the weights and find a combat system you like, not a martial art as they are just for show. Try Krav Maga.

RedMoonAscendant · 2017-05-04T03:57:22+00:00

No. You turned yourself into a beta when you started making excuses.

daze0fyore · 2017-05-05T22:57:15+00:00

I think a lot of guys have experienced trauma in their life, which caused their true "alpha" selves to be suppressed. For me, it was fighting back against my younger sociopathic sister. Parents scolded me, told me they would disown me if I ever laid a finger on her. Also strongly encouraged not to fight by my dad.

One time I got in a fight in 4th grade, and had to go to the principal's office... even though it was self-defense.

I think this damaged me psychologically.

But now that we're adults, we can fix this shit. Never too late. Just own it.

For example, I don't move out of the way for dudes who walk in my space. I might slow my pace.... so that if they get in my shit I know that's intentional. But I don't move. Little shit like that makes a difference.

Mckallidon · 2017-05-07T22:15:21+00:00

I'm sure it started before then if you let that one time run your whole life since. You're overthinking this way too hard.

I grew up getting my ass kicked by my mother, father, my stepfather and ghetto ass nignogs my whole life. Like actual beatings. Punches to the face by a grown man in middle school. Forced to eat a sandwich I threw away out of the garbage while some meathead screamed at me and whacked me in the head while I had to peel garbage dust of the food before I ate it. Held down while I choked on my own snot and threw up while some asshole screams in my face and bitch slaps me for fifteen minutes. Forced to clean it up after. Getting yelled at for bleeding all over my dad's truck after he socks me in the nose. Really fucking crazy stupid shit chronically my entire preadult life. Way more Fucked up shit. Jumped for being a cracker. Nothing fucking normal scares me. Talking to people doesn't scare me. Fucking crackhead thugs don't scare me.

When I was 15 i had already been in fights and had my ass kicked. I started lifting weights and running a lot. Took my problems out on all the stupid prep athletes at my new school that were dumb enough to start shit with me. When I was 17 I beat the fuck of my stepfather like a little bitch after he went too far and I finally released. moved out same day without a penny to my name. Life sucks and only gets worse. Don't be a pussy.

I also had a gross old faggot try to molest me once. Luckily I was already grown up too fast for that shit.

I honestly believe that as much as it sucked, it made me push myself to be a strong man at a young age and while many cons exist in my life because of this shit, normal life is nothing to me because of it. Women love a good tough psycho vibe from a dude that actually has empathy.

Right now there are children from the third world coming to this country that have killed people. Don't be a pussy.

edefakiel · 2017-05-03T08:30:00+00:00

If you were broke by something that almost happened, you were always an omega. I've been in the verge of death several times and it is true that it has changed me, I don't do drugs anymore, I don't get into fights so often... But nothing has changed the core of myself. Life is always pain, rejection and solitude. Of course, in an utopic world nobody will confront adversity, but we all need to struggle every day to be ourselves. Only a despicable omega blames the circumstances. To exist is to suffer, but true men always find pleasure in the violence of the existence.

All the losers I've known always blame an arbitrary episode of their past. A man tried to grab me and I started jacking off with porn and being a pussy with the girls. Shit, dude, how do you think that sounds? You are delusional. Accept that you need to change your deep core, you don't have anything to blame but yourself. You don't need to recover your old you, because it was pure shit, you need to destroy everything you are and rebuild it from the start. You need to confront real suffering and humiliation and become better everyday.

19RomeoQuebec · 2017-05-03T20:42:36+00:00

That is usually what happens with kids like you. Once they get a proper ass beating, their whole perspective changes.

Your post sounds like you were a little fucking douche bag and got what you deserved.

Glad you have become more humble and looking for proper guidance and mentorship.

Oh and by the way SIZE MATTERS don't be a bully just be able to hold your own.

And choose your battles wisely, choose only those battles you can win.

I will also say, as a man way deep down in your soul. You have to be willing to kill another man, animal, thing or being.

Some men have done those things and struggle with the person they become after accomplishing that task. Because at the core, you were never that person.

So stop trying to be someone you are not, and just be the best you, you can be! And by all things holy in this world, don't start AIKIDO or wing chun. Do the whole Western Boxing, Jiu Jitsu/Wrestling, Muay Thai thing. Good luck on your future endeavors pussy.

Title	Being assaulted my a man in my youth turned me into a beta.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	65
Comments	72
Date	May 3, 2017 6:32 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/68ypo3/being_assaulted_my_a_man_in_my_youth_turned_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/being-assaulted-my-a-man-in-my-youth-turned-me.42992 https://theredarchive.com/post/42992

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