The issue about „dying alone“

punkcasher · 2019-07-09T18:37:13+00:00

We are born alone, we will die alone.

But just because these are logical conclusions, doesn't mean that you won't have anyone who cares for you, or that you will be by yourself always. Adoption, Casual/Compensated Relations, Extended Family, and Friendships can go a long way to fill in the holes.

Don't fear the inevitable, accept it, master yourself, and be free. GYOW :)

anduxo · 2019-07-09T18:38:08+00:00

I was never really scared by that. Not sure what the big deal is.

Even if you marry you are likely to go old alone. Your wife can die or you can divorce, and your children will be busy with their own families, maybe even living abroad.

I'm not scared of death either. I'll welcome it with open arms.

krugerand9 · 2019-07-09T18:50:08+00:00

Your kids may give you the level of attention and companionship you want when you get older but probably not. Most likely they'll have their own busy lives and maybe visit you once a month (if you're lucky). I have two adult kids and they rarely call or text me. I always have to arrange time with them when they're not working or busy. If this is your big worry, then the best bet is to first become MGTOW, save up all that money you would have wasted on chicks and once you retire, check yourself into a luxury seniors complex or nursing home with all that money you saved. You'll have professional health care for the rest of your life and living in a community of people your own age to keep you from getting lonely.

DangZagnut · 2019-07-09T19:02:34+00:00

Everyone dies alone, no matter who is in the room.

How is being single and alone, different than your wife divorces you or dies, and you're still alone?

Plenty of parents in old folks homes die alone no matter how many kids they have. I've seen it with my own eyes with volunteer work. No one shows up 99.9% of the time until they get that phone call, and that's the ones who have kids that even care.

Diogeneplz1 · 2019-07-09T18:54:21+00:00

Look at all the old dudes. How many can't stand being around their wife and would like to be free of them? An old nagging bag of bones who resents you for her lost love of you and you no longer have sex with, let alone want to have sex with and only leeches your time, money, and energy awaits you. Children would be nice, but you can still have kids without all the bullshit. Some of these relationships seem okay on the surface, but even then, what's going on behind the scenes? Even if what's on the surface is what's truly going on, how many have a relationship that is really good and you'd want? I can't think of any. The only happily married couple I know are within the first 5 years of their marriage, with or without kids.

It's always just you man. You want that void filled, but only you can fill it. No woman is ever going to fill it and you're going to have to jump through an increasing amount of hoops to keep her and even then she might divorce you and take all your shit and those kids you wanted no matter what you do or how much of a slave you become. Without the concept of women, the void is fully apparent and no longer hidden, but women can only distract you from it. This is why people become addicts of all sorts. They're trying to fill that void or distract themselves from it. We were never taught how to self actualize and fill this hole, because everyone collectively thinks marriage and kids will do the trick and have no idea themselves. Security is an illusion and that includes women. We all like to think once we have the girl, she's always there and that way we always have that crutch to lean on no matter what, which is why we all get so hurt when the crutch isn't there anymore.

If we want happiness and fulfillment, we need to jump into that void and built our own identity and purpose. No amount of money, women, or whatever can do it. The void is internal and so it must be filled internally. "If we just get this girl, get this job, get a house, have kids, or make X amount of money we will be happy and it'll be smooth sailing henceforth." We all have those thoughts yet no one is ever happy cause of it and is just actually miserable, because they're avoiding the void and experiencing growing existential crises because of the void never being alleviated by all the shit they do or accumulate. We need to accept ourselves fundamentally and then build our life so that it is totally of own volition and choosing rather than building our lives around women's or society's approval. You'll always want more of women's validation and society's validation and will have to keep up the act and games to keep what you get, thus becoming a slave to it. Approval is nice, but I just want it to come as it does with whatever I ultimately choose rather than choosing something I think will maximize the approval/effort ratio.

Let-It-All-Go · 2019-07-09T20:28:22+00:00

Nobody gives a fuck about me right now, when I am dying it will be exactly the same, me and 7 billion other people on the planet must face it alone. MGTOW's understand it's a solo journey from the womb to the grave.

mongolian_usa · 2019-07-09T18:49:15+00:00

I can't speak for anyone other than myself but have had plenty of time to consider this very scenario. The conclusion i came to is this. If I'm in a room surrounded by loved ones, I'm still dying alone. Knowing that I'm loved at that time isn't something I feel I need, at least this far in life. I have my dog, and dogs that have already passed on whom I believe will be waiting for me when my time comes. I draw a great deal of comfort from that. Right or wrong, it's my belief.

roflcopt0rz_returns · 2019-07-09T20:01:32+00:00

1) Most marriages end up in the shitter anyway. 50% base divorce rate, the woman gets custody of the children like 90+% of the time and you become a wage slave while your ex poisons the minds of your children to make them hate you. So even when you get married you have a higher chance of dying just as "alone" as a MGTOW, except you'll have no money. And since ex wives will always attack your friends and family with their poisonous lies, there's a lower chance that you'll even have friends or family by your side too.

2) Even if you have a "successful" marriage, most children will have left the coop by the time you actually die. If they move out of state (or especially to another country) they'll only see you 1-2 times a year if you're lucky. They'll be busy working, some may have families (granted, hypothetically speaking if I ever had sons I'd tell them to go MGTOW, but that's beside the point). Most elderly people go to nursing homes or whatever where they die surrounded by nurses; VERY rarely are any of the children by your side as you die.

The imagery of someone dying surrounded by family is almost as fantastical as the prince Charming sweeping the lady off her feet and breaking her curse with a kiss.

eduardkoopman · 2019-07-09T20:33:08+00:00

At some point, you will have no one who cares for you. I don’t particularly mean a wife, but especially children. What do you have to say about this?

A few things.

there is no garantee that said children will be taking care of your.
having children for this reason mainly, while you don't want children. you might be unhappy for many years while reising the for sure
practical care, is nowadays often done by nurses and workers in old people homes
at old age, there a alot of old women and few old men. So in that sense an old dude has plenty to pick from if he wants to have a woman next to him. (but she probably won't take care of him)
getting old and sick. Is miserable, wether you have children and a wife around or not. So that;s unavoidable.
being old and sich. why still want to life? The body is used then, and practiscally speaking just dying (instead of burdening alot of people to take care of your decaing body) is the best option.

martynhare · 2019-07-09T19:17:05+00:00

Birth rates are at an all time low worldwide (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-46118103) and as such, it is unlikely that enough humans will be born to satisfy the replacement rates needed for even strangers to be in the room to comfort us as we die, short of other dying old people or perhaps when children see their grandparents life support switched off.

Men simply don't care any more and women are going that same way due to their own misuse of the unintended power they were given due to a collapsing, outdated societal structure that can't cater for abundance in the event of automation. We may well live to see the death of the intellectual property marketplace that keeps the system going in lieu of resource scarcity (like the selling of goods as if they're services, digital products that cost $0.00 to make, patents on production methods etc.).

I'd say don't worry about "dying alone" because a lot of us will whether we get married (and dodge wallet-rape) or not.

BiffBiffBiff27 · 2019-07-09T19:31:32+00:00

By the time you get to 70+ you'll be so ready for death 😂

You can't take anything with you. There's no guarantees kids or wife will be around - life happens, people die unexpectedly. If you make it to your death bed surrounded by family you are the exception!

nigelh · 2019-07-10T11:47:18+00:00

OK imagine the situation where you're getting older and older and you're all alone and you're poor too because your wife made off with your money/pension decades ago and poisoned the children's minds towards you...

That's one of my neighbours.

menlandedonthemoon · 2019-07-10T19:05:30+00:00

I always tell people that bring that up, "unless you happen to be on a sinking ship with 2000 other assholes, you're gonna die alone."

[deleted] · 2019-07-09T18:35:47+00:00

In my humble opinion, fear and egoism shouldn't be the main driving forces when making decisions, especially not for important and impactful ones like creating life.

PhantomCowboy · 2019-07-09T20:00:03+00:00

not thrilled by the prospect, or many of the other realities of my life. still have to try to make the best of things tho.

pharmd718 · 2019-07-09T20:11:34+00:00

Here you go:

https://youtu.be/U38YmMEoJNM

monk2019 · 2019-07-09T20:33:29+00:00

the "die alone" is bullshit, my grandpa was married for over 50 years and died alone in a wine shop of a heart attack (stressed out of marriage, dad got the same issues, im not getting them). People die everywhere, most people dont lay in a hospital for days so the family can visit, some do, but most just die sleeping/in a car/in a shop/etc.

[deleted] · 2019-07-09T21:37:12+00:00

I say go home thot go home and feed your cats, to everyone else read this in a womans voice and you understand it better the account is a day old and they talk like they are a vet from the red pill lol, get that weak shit out of here.

IterantImprovement · 2019-07-09T21:40:39+00:00

At some point, you will have no one who cares for you.

This isn't true for me now and I can only imagine that scenario in the event that I outlive them all. (And that would be a trick) At 46 I've collected a solid group of loved ones. Some blood but most aren't. Some of these friendships go back 34 years. The idea that because I might choose to avoid one type of traditional behavior doesn't mean that I can't have healthy relationships with other people.

I mean, sure, if you isolate yourself physically in the middle of the woods somewhere, chances are you're going to die alone, but if you still desire friendships with people you can still have that. Just make certain that the relationships are healthy ones.

I'm not sure if my experience or outlook is due to my military service or not, but I served with men that while we weren't related that we would have absolutely fought to the death to protect each other. And now twenty years later I have that same bond with a good number of people. I don't worry about dying alone. If anything, I worry about not being there to protect my loved ones.

treesplease12 · 2019-07-09T22:25:48+00:00

I’ve thought about this quite a bit too

What I found out is that I’m more alone now than I assume I will be in the future. Right now, I’m working as hard as I can to build wealth and retire early. I figure that if I’m successful, my true life will begin around 45 or so, when I actually have the time and energy to foster lasting and meaningful friendships

Philosophipster · 2019-07-09T23:14:45+00:00

Welcome!

Many answers here, but mine would be that being alone and being lonely are two completely different things. If you earn enough money, someone can be paid to take care of you.

About dying alone or seeing your kids, that is a pipe dream. Most kids rarely visit their parents. Even worse when it comes to grand parents. All you need to do is learn to overcome your fear of separation and fear of death.

Just keep in mind that solitude is something you can enjoy, loneliness is a feeling most ppl project on you for pity’s sake. Ask yourself: have you ever felt lonely when you’re busy doing what you love?

It makes their lives in relationships look way better if the alternative can be labeled as “bad”. Dont let them project their fears on you. That is all.

U-94 · 2019-07-09T23:27:55+00:00

Go visit a nursing home for your answer.

hellabad · 2019-07-10T01:15:51+00:00

If you want to be miserable your entire life just so you don't die alone in those few seconds or minutes before you go then be my guest. But if you really think about it, who cares? you're dead. What does it matter if you died alone or not? you're dead. What matters is what you did with that time.

groverthebread · 2019-07-10T02:58:12+00:00

If you really loved someone wouldn't you want them to be free instead of burning their days caring for you? That would probably bother me even more than being alone. Men crawl into the woods and die.

[deleted] · 2019-07-10T04:33:06+00:00

Given your use of quotation marks, I'm guessing you're not from the U.S. or U.K. Any answers to these questions will be, not just culturally- and nationally-specific, but also subjectively personal.

When asking this question, you need to make a distinction between asking about being without any assistance when too old to fully function for yourself, and asking about being lonely when old. These are two very different things, and most people will respond to the latter.

The former is a legitimate concern, and one I brought up in another thread regarding homesteading. A lot of people who respond in this vein do so with a fatalistic attitude. "I'll likely already be dead." "I'll be ready to die anyway [implying planned suicide?]" That kind of thing. I have yet to see a meaningful response to this question, nor do I have answers.

Step one is to classify the things that will be relevant. What will need to be done? What will I still be able to do myself? What can be automated? What can be mitigated or substituted. What can be staffed out (and how do you force the staff to be trustworthy?) Do any of these answers change if I relocate? Do any of these answers change if my savings significantly changes? Do any of these answers change if I prepare for the inevitable starting now?

Borgmeister · 2019-07-10T06:58:17+00:00

I was with my grandmother when she died. Dying can be undignified at times (you're bowels relax towards the end). Whilst I was glad to have been there - it was a powerful experience - it crystallised my view that I wish very much to die alone.

Title	The issue about „dying alone“
Author	HeinzMeinz1
Upvotes	24
Comments	33
Date	July 9, 2019 6:28 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/cb4rgc/the_issue_about_dying_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/the-issue-about-dying-alone.431538 https://theredarchive.com/post/431538

Comments