TLDR: Feminism does not have to be labelled to take effect, which means that even a woman who claims to not be a feminist can still be one. Hence, always assess people by their actions and not words. Think twice if you plan to move to Asia if escaping the effects feminism is one of your reasons.
Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason and it usually does represent some truth in the characteristics of the said social group. When it comes to Asian Men(orientals), it is not uncommon to associate meek, feminine, unaggressive and sexually unattractive traits both in the West and the East. As a 25 year old half Asian man who grew up in Korea, China, and Singapore who moved to Canada, I'd like to share some insight I've gathered over my schooling experiences in these countries.
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- The Prefect System.
In many Asian countries, both public and private schools select a group of students to aid the teachers to govern over the other students. It is somewhat similar to the student government bodies in the West but the prefects are not democratically elected by students, but rather handpicked by teachers. Prefects have immense power over regular students such as handing out fines, giving them detentions, reporting them for public caning and to some extent, getting them expelled. With this in mind, it is clear that there is a severe inequality between the power dynamics of prefects and students.
In the 7 different schools (4 private, 3 public) I've attended in the said regions, all of them have a gender ratio of at least 10 girls to 3 boys in their prefectorial board with exception to the one boy school I have attended. This maybe because there are more female teachers as with any society which led to a subconscious bias, plus the stereotypes that girls are more matured than boys. This means that growing up, many Asian boys are accustomed to having female authoritative figures in their lives. These boys are used to receiving orders and serving not just the female prefects, but also the female peers that are usually closer to these female prefects. Some boys will of course be exceptions and try to overpower or rebel but in most cases they get burned and publicly shamed for doing so.
For these young Asian boys besides just used to having females leading their lives, it is also a smart survival instinct to survive in school to constantly think few steps ahead to ensure the prefects will not pick on them and risk their pride and safety. Do not forget that Asian parents will always side the school in the name of education and the lack of human rights protection against children. This is why many Asian Men nowadays always instinctively go the extra mile to make a girl "happy" and are so afraid of upsetting females in general. In addition, it is also why it is accepted socially for Asian Women to openly have ridiculous materialistic in their male partners. It is also why Asian Men tend to get themself friendzoned much more than men of other backgrounds, just hit up any Asian dominated club and you'll see what I mean. If you like that Asian chick who has a man beside her, there's a good chance its a bro.
2. Teachers = Parents, School = Home mentality.
In Asia, the overemphasis on education gives immense power to the school and teachers over children and in some cases, more control than their own parents. There are always going to be more female teachers than male wherever you are, but in this case, this gives women a whole new reach of control of children including ones that aren't theirs. Asian parents tend to believe that everything the school and teachers say are the Gospel and ends up as the ultimatum. This means many Asian children are not used to having an opportunity to have their own opinions and confront issues. Besides reinforcing the female imperative, this leads to incidents that constantly lowers the self esteem of Asian boys. It is not uncommon for Asian teachers to constantly praise female students over male students and say lines like "girls are always smarter than boys", "boys should get used to picking up trash and hard labor" and so on. This happened in all of the schools I have attended in Asia and also commonly heard among my friends who attended other schools in other Asian countries. Some of my friends who are volunteer teachers in Asian schools claim that most teachers tend to punish the boys at least twice as severe compared to girls for the same mistakes
In my case, things got a little more extreme where a teacher punished my friends and I for running around the class by grabbing our crotches in front of the class. We were only 10. Having had a Western father growing up, my dad decided to raise this up to the school district in Singapore only being backfired by the school having me publicly caned and shamed in an assembly for challenging a teacher. That was the last time I attended a public school in Asia but things did not improve much in the private schools. Just imagine how many more young boys could have been abused in Asia.
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Conclusion
The schooling system in Asia is implicitly feminized even more than the West, even though these Asian countries have yet to openly claim to be feminists and the West still sees them as misogynistic sometimes. Therefore, these systems and biases will only lead to the further decline of asian men in the east. This is why male KPOP and JRock stars have better hair than Taylor Swift and slimmer builds than Ariana Grande. So think twice if you plan to move to Asia if escaping the effects feminism is one of your reasons, because it is not that different when you think about it.
EDIT: If you happen to be Asian, do not feel bitter about the Asian culture or system, but rather acknowledge how some of its traits may not be ideal in terms of masculinity and learn how to work around it. Do not let your upbringing define you if that is not who you strive to become.
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