Intro

It's absolutely crucial that you spend at least a period of your adult life without the influence of a woman. No LTR's/plates, NOTHING -- just you -- for as long as it takes for you to feel fucking euphoric about being by yourself.

Body

I spent my entire twenties in relationships, the entire decade. LTR for 6.5 years, then another for 2.5 and another for 1. There was maybe a month or two in between but I either had a plate or an ex hanging around, so didn't really count.

It's been nearly four months since I've been on my own. I'll openly admit it was very difficult for a while. I was literally detoxing from a drug I had been addicted to for 10 years. In addition to that, whether or not you are in a good relationship or a terrible relationship it still acts as a comfort. Getting home from a bad day at work? Your comfort is there to ease the pain and give you some validation to feel better. Get a big promotion? She's on call to go "celebrate" and stroke your ego and maybe you even get laid. Good for you. Even if the girl is shit she's still going to give you what you want sporadically, which is enough to keep you around looking for the next fix.

It really is like that. So imagine now you get home from work and you've had a bad day and there's nobody. Just you. If you aren't used to that it's a very sinking feeling. Not only have you had a bad day, but now nobody gives a fuck. Even worse in my opinion is you get that promotion, you win an award, whatever, a big success and you walk home to a silent apartment. Nobody cares.

Where does this leave you? There are two ways it can go. Most men who break up and end up single immediately hit the bars and fuck as many women as they can over a few months. Which really is just substituting the validation. It leads to a bunch of bitches clawing for your attention, likely one will take hold, and you've learned nothing.

The second way is embracing the situation and seeing it as an opportunity. Which is what I have tried to do. There's plenty of talk here about Monk Mode and MGOTW but I've never been able to implement those philosophies until I got to the point where I had to. You look at your life and just understand that this is the next logical step in your growth. You begin the journey of relying only on yourself to feel good

Life becomes sink or swim. Skip a workout? You will feel like garbage. Eat junk food? Same. Get fucked up and lose a day to a hangover? Good luck.

I became so acutely aware of how everything made me feel at any given moment that I was forced to choose the things that worked. Which is everything that has been discussed extensively at TRP. Lift, join MMA, eat well, dress well, meditate, read and work on your business/project. I was going for runs at 11pm cause I wouldn't sleep otherwise. And the things that didn't work? They fell away out of necessity. Suddenly you're having a beer with an old pal and wondering 'why the fuck am I here when this relationship has felt like a chore for years?' Things change quickly and you're actually clearing the space to level up.

You know what exists in the feel bad category right now? Women. This is the point I'm really arriving at. When you've spent a long enough time without a woman influencing your day to day activity and thoughts, you pretty quickly realize how much they totally fuck up your paradigm and sense of self. Even if you think you have it under control, unless you are the upper echelon of alpha you're experiencing life through two sets of eyes, you are not fully yourself.

My body literally won't let me desire women right now. The irony is I'm in the best shape of my life, my mind is clear and full of ideas and inspiration, my career is taking off, I've got a great place with a view downtown in the middle of summer, absolutely the highest SMV I've ever been at with so much further to go, and I cannot be fucking bothered. I have fucked a few girls and even wrote about a pull a couple weeks ago, but each time I allow them into my experience I feel wholly unsatisfied. I wonder now how I accomplished anything at all. I feel like I have no time to do everything I want today, yet I would have my LTR over 5 nights a week a few months ago. It's absurd to me now.

Of course I want to fuck sluts, it just isn't a priority and it feels like there's enormous power there. I'm not there yet, but I can see it. The point where you're so hyped up about who you are, your lifestyle, your goals and your purpose that you're impenetrable. You get the best women and the best friendships, the best opportunities the best of everything because you've spent the time, and done the work to figure out your place in this world and you can't be shook.

Once you can't be shook, you own the world. So spend time by yourself, spend as long as it takes, and get there.

TL;DR

Spend time by yourself not pursing or inviting women into your life. I spent a decade in the company of women and my world has completely opened up in the 4 months of being in (mostly) solitude. I suggest it to all men who are on the journey towards big goals and overall power building/self improvement.