About a year ago I observed one of the more interesting relationships of my life. The greatest blue-pill example that I have personally witnessed.
I was recovering from shoulder surgery at the time and had been generally anti-social in a way that that I had never been before in my life because my arm was in a sling. It killed me. I hadn’t left my house in two weeks. But I was determined to make it out. So on a Tuesday, I put on some nice clothes and headed to [local bar].
I went out by myself because all I wanted was a drink and to enjoy the fine summer air. As I sat down to drink, I noticed a couple near me. She was a tall blonde girl, 5’10”, HB9, we will call her Crème, and a slightly overweight guy but tall and not bad looking heretofore known as Punchy. He was being generally loud and obnoxious which is what attracted my eye. There is a time and a place for it but this did not appear to be one of those times. Eventually he got up to get a drink or piss or something, I don’t know, but this was the opening to an interesting evening.
Crème – “Hey, what happened to your arm?”
TT – “Nothing, I just wear a sling for the ladies”
Crème – “That’s sad”
TT – “It’s funnier than anything else that I’ve seen”
Crème – “What’s the real reason?”
TT – “I tore my labrum, just got it done two weeks ago.”
Crème – “Oh, wow, that’s sad. Well, have a good night!”
TT – “Thanks, you too”
Normally in that situation I would try to swoop in and steal this girl, however, not being in a position to defend myself should he turn violent made me think otherwise. I was merely an observer for the evening. At any rate, I thought my interaction with them was over, I was wrong.
Punchy returned and I guess they had a discussion about me because 5 minutes later punchy walks up
Punchy – “Hey, I see you’re here alone, want to join us?”
TT – “I’d love to”
We introduce ourselves and Punchy begins to unload his entire life story on me. They have been friends for 10 years Red Flag. I was shown pictures of them and their circle. I was told about how they constantly go to football games and events together, but I was noticing a pattern emerging so I asked a question.
”Did you two ever date?”
That’s right, I’m an asshole. In most of those pics Punchy looked relatively unchanged but Crème was always with a tall, built dude, almost never the same one either. I had a suspicion so I not so subtly poked at it.
Punchy says: “Ha, were best friends, nothing like that.” Red Flag
Crème says: “Oh no” Super Obvious Red Flag
This man is an orbiter, and a quintessential one at that. Bro even bought me a drink? Why the fuck would a man do that? If you thought it was because he was trying to impress his oneitis with his generosity, you’d be correct. Sadly, Crème had a taste for dudes shaped like gorillas (she worked at a gym for Christ sake), and Punchy was the snot rag she turned to whenever she got dumped. At least three times during the night she offered to set him up with one of her friends, and not her good looking ones either (always ask for pics).
I was in physical pain for the guy, I didn’t even want to stay, but I did, because Gorilla himself turned up.
Gorilla walks up to the table, gives punchy a high five, shakes my hand and gives a very friendly hug to Crème before he sits down Super Obvious Red Flag. Dude is a monster; He was at least 6’6” and made me feel small. Luckily he and I hit it off as we both served, but Punchy seemed upset.
I could tell because all of a sudden he started to brag about everything. As soon as Gorilla and I got a thread going about something he would go out of his way to make sure the conversation included him as well. The guy physically pouted. If you have never seen it, it’s a funny look on a man. Eventually Punchy and Gorilla get up to get drinks and everything is made clear.
“He is my on again, off again boyfriend”
It all makes sense. Punchy is only here because she is recently single and was attempting to parlay that into the rebound relationship with a “nice guy”. Additionally, he was super pissed that Gorilla even showed up and ruined his private evening with her. I am so glad I stayed. I asked her about Gorilla. She told me that they have known each other for a few years and they always “just seem to end up together”. I didn’t even care about her anymore; I just wanted to see what lengths Punchy would go to try to win her over from Gorilla.
I wasn’t disappointed.
He spent the next hour describing all his travels, the places he was planning to go, the girl he just dumped because she wasn’t good enough for him. All the while Gorilla just sits there silently, but giving Crème very intense eye contact. He was seducing her without even saying a word.
Her cheeks became flushed, she squeezed her thighs together, she started leaning toward him. I was one of those things you read about in a romance novel but rarely see in reality.
Punchy gives up. In a last minute attempt to save face in front of his oneitis by asking for the number of the least fat of Crème’s offered friends. We get up to leave. I thank punchy for the drink and the rest of them for the evening. Punchy reminds Crème that he was her ride. Crème says Gorilla lives closer to her and leaves without another word.
Why am I telling this story? For one I personally find it to be hilarious. It was something that you might see out of a TV show or as I said before, a romance novel. Mostly, I am telling you this so that you can defend yourself. This situation should never have even happened. Understand that when people don’t want you, they don’t want you and there is little to nothing you can do about it. Only spend time and effort on those who can return value back to you (whether they know it or not). It is the first step in building self-respect.
P.S. – Never turn down a free drink if you can see it poured and delivered. Your night has just gotten very interesting.
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