Punching Bag

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January 28, 2016
135 upvotes

About a year ago I observed one of the more interesting relationships of my life. The greatest blue-pill example that I have personally witnessed.

The Setting

I was recovering from shoulder surgery at the time and had been generally anti-social in a way that that I had never been before in my life because my arm was in a sling. It killed me. I hadn’t left my house in two weeks. But I was determined to make it out. So on a Tuesday, I put on some nice clothes and headed to [local bar].

I went out by myself because all I wanted was a drink and to enjoy the fine summer air. As I sat down to drink, I noticed a couple near me. She was a tall blonde girl, 5’10”, HB9, we will call her Crème, and a slightly overweight guy but tall and not bad looking heretofore known as Punchy. He was being generally loud and obnoxious which is what attracted my eye. There is a time and a place for it but this did not appear to be one of those times. Eventually he got up to get a drink or piss or something, I don’t know, but this was the opening to an interesting evening.

Peacocking

Crème – “Hey, what happened to your arm?”

TT – “Nothing, I just wear a sling for the ladies”

Crème – “That’s sad”

TT – “It’s funnier than anything else that I’ve seen”

Crème – “What’s the real reason?”

TT – “I tore my labrum, just got it done two weeks ago.”

Crème – “Oh, wow, that’s sad. Well, have a good night!”

TT – “Thanks, you too”

Normally in that situation I would try to swoop in and steal this girl, however, not being in a position to defend myself should he turn violent made me think otherwise. I was merely an observer for the evening. At any rate, I thought my interaction with them was over, I was wrong.

Punchy returned and I guess they had a discussion about me because 5 minutes later punchy walks up

Punchy – “Hey, I see you’re here alone, want to join us?”

TT – “I’d love to”

We introduce ourselves and Punchy begins to unload his entire life story on me. They have been friends for 10 years Red Flag. I was shown pictures of them and their circle. I was told about how they constantly go to football games and events together, but I was noticing a pattern emerging so I asked a question.

”Did you two ever date?”

That’s right, I’m an asshole. In most of those pics Punchy looked relatively unchanged but Crème was always with a tall, built dude, almost never the same one either. I had a suspicion so I not so subtly poked at it.

Punchy says: “Ha, were best friends, nothing like that.” Red Flag

Crème says: “Oh no” Super Obvious Red Flag

This man is an orbiter, and a quintessential one at that. Bro even bought me a drink? Why the fuck would a man do that? If you thought it was because he was trying to impress his oneitis with his generosity, you’d be correct. Sadly, Crème had a taste for dudes shaped like gorillas (she worked at a gym for Christ sake), and Punchy was the snot rag she turned to whenever she got dumped. At least three times during the night she offered to set him up with one of her friends, and not her good looking ones either (always ask for pics).

I was in physical pain for the guy, I didn’t even want to stay, but I did, because Gorilla himself turned up.

Gorilla walks up to the table, gives punchy a high five, shakes my hand and gives a very friendly hug to Crème before he sits down Super Obvious Red Flag. Dude is a monster; He was at least 6’6” and made me feel small. Luckily he and I hit it off as we both served, but Punchy seemed upset.

I could tell because all of a sudden he started to brag about everything. As soon as Gorilla and I got a thread going about something he would go out of his way to make sure the conversation included him as well. The guy physically pouted. If you have never seen it, it’s a funny look on a man. Eventually Punchy and Gorilla get up to get drinks and everything is made clear.

“He is my on again, off again boyfriend”

It all makes sense. Punchy is only here because she is recently single and was attempting to parlay that into the rebound relationship with a “nice guy”. Additionally, he was super pissed that Gorilla even showed up and ruined his private evening with her. I am so glad I stayed. I asked her about Gorilla. She told me that they have known each other for a few years and they always “just seem to end up together”. I didn’t even care about her anymore; I just wanted to see what lengths Punchy would go to try to win her over from Gorilla.

I wasn’t disappointed.

He spent the next hour describing all his travels, the places he was planning to go, the girl he just dumped because she wasn’t good enough for him. All the while Gorilla just sits there silently, but giving Crème very intense eye contact. He was seducing her without even saying a word.

Her cheeks became flushed, she squeezed her thighs together, she started leaning toward him. I was one of those things you read about in a romance novel but rarely see in reality.

Punchy gives up. In a last minute attempt to save face in front of his oneitis by asking for the number of the least fat of Crème’s offered friends. We get up to leave. I thank punchy for the drink and the rest of them for the evening. Punchy reminds Crème that he was her ride. Crème says Gorilla lives closer to her and leaves without another word.

Lessons Learned

Why am I telling this story? For one I personally find it to be hilarious. It was something that you might see out of a TV show or as I said before, a romance novel. Mostly, I am telling you this so that you can defend yourself. This situation should never have even happened. Understand that when people don’t want you, they don’t want you and there is little to nothing you can do about it. Only spend time and effort on those who can return value back to you (whether they know it or not). It is the first step in building self-respect.

P.S. – Never turn down a free drink if you can see it poured and delivered. Your night has just gotten very interesting.


Did you like my post? Read my blog: AlphaAsWhat.com


Post Information
Title Punching Bag
Author The_Titleist
Upvotes 135
Comments 43
Date 28 January 2016 08:23 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/55772
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/435546/punching_bag/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
orbiterthe red pillthe blue pill-pill
Comments

[–]DforDeadpool77 points78 points  (7 children) | Copy

Talking about free drinks, I walked into a bar toilet once. It was my friend's birthday and we were celebrating on that bar. I opened the men's room's door and I saw two dudes in it. It was the kind of the one person only toilets by the way. I think I was getting the gay vibes. Two dudes in a close space, together. They told me that it was okay and I could pee there, while refusing to exit the toilet. Lol. I said no thank you and attempted to leave. And the other one said, "Alright, alright, come here". Turns out they were drinking tequila there because it was expensive in the bar. We did two shots together, they left and I peed. My life became %300 more interesting for a couple minutes.

Other than that, nice post.

[–]Endorsed ContributorThe_Titleist[S] 18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks. It wasn't the point of the post but most of the best nights of my life started with strangers giving me drinks.

[–]GrandmasterHurricane10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Pepper your angus, you know what's coming some day.

[–]Endorsed ContributorThe_Titleist[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You don't use salt or olive oil on your angus as well?

[–]exilesoul11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

something similar happens to me often, but it's usually two guys offering me lines of coke lol

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Free coke? I am clearly going to the wrong places

[–]hunkerd0wn3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh. I would have just assumed they were doing blow.

[–]Mgtowredpillonroids45 points46 points  (3 children) | Copy

Go to a night club during monk mode - thirsty guys like Punchy everywhere. Just fucking everywhere. It's nauseating.

[–]prodigy2throw21 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy

The thirst is insanely real out there. Check out a hot girls status comments on Facebook for even more cringe. It's actually hilarious.

I know one chick who had guys looking up used cars online and calling/ setting up appointments for her. Dudes were even arguing about different cars trying to impress her with their awesome car knowledge. Epic thirst.

[–]The__Tren__Train1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

and now we know how gynocentrism came about

[–]pantsoffire2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you present it, they will come.

[–]depedestalize_it16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is so textbook it almost sounds made up.

This man is an orbiter, and a quintessential one at that. Bro even bought me a drink? Why the fuck would a man do that?

Given his situation, I agree. He was desperate, that's why it was awkward. Otherwise, buying some guy a beer can be great move, if you handle it correctly. Had Gorilla bought you a beer, it would have been a completely different thing because he'd have done it from a position of relative dominance.

[–]Endorsed ContributorThe_Titleist[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I feel you. Many times I have bought drinks for guys i've just met, but never to a complete stranger because some slut asked me to invite him over...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Huh. Aside from my pals and I trading drinks, I don't think I've done that. Occasionally as a peace offering.

Nice fr.

[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock42 points43 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then Gorilla took Creme behind the bar and creme-pied her.

[–]BradPill12 points13 points  (6 children) | Copy

Ouch. That hurts, just reading it. Though Punchy set himself up for it: he dreams he finally gets lucky, after 10 years of orbiting? So he brags about shit she definitely is not interested in as she got some hot-blooded distraction sitting next to her? Who now will bang her even harder just to erase the thought of Punchy wasting their time.
Maybe she can hook you up with her good-looking friends - I'm sure she kept the second grade ones for Punchy, as she knows he would mess it up with HB7+'s...

[–] points points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]BradPill1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Ok, valid point.
But then, why would she offer them to P in the first place? She knows he's desperate, as he proves in the end: he wants the number of the least fat one - Creme running the risk 2 unlikely matches will find eternal bliss against all odds. If she gives him some BS reason ("I don't know any woman that would deserve you") she avoids any accidental matches, keeping him orbiting her.

[–]detachedbymarriage1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Some women play the game on the subconscious level.

They will go through the strokes of creating orbiters or turning down the "good ones" for the C.C. and not really understand why.

There is a good chance she feels bad for the way she treats him (again, she knows it's wrong but still can't help the way she feels) so she tries to offer him a g/f to help feel better about herself.

If he screws it up with the offered friend, oh well, she tried....so now her conscious can be clear to move on with her own feelings.

[–]BradPill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

True. ThomasKingo's point definitely makes 'sense' (from a woman's POV): throw my orbiter some scraps, make it look like I care, hoping he rejects them all, more attention and glory for me.

And your point is valid as well: out of guilt she throws him some 'not-so-hotties' - you never know, right?

Interesting dynamics, different perspectives... (that's why I said we should ask a HB9 herself - see if she is able to explain it).

[–]Thomaskingo 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Hmm... Maybe she could always trickle him attention to keep him from actually engaging with the ugly friend, while the same might not be true of the prettier ones. At least se would have to put out a higher level of validation and showing of interest, should he begin to orbitor branch swing.

[–]systemshock869 8 points8 points [recovered] | Copy

Well shit I have to tell about this punching bag I keep seeing on Facebook.

The first night I met him, I was going to a concert with a few friends and their friend group who mostly all worked at the same restaurant. We gathered at someone's apartment before heading to the concert, and this beautiful girl shows up with Punchy. She ends up sitting next to me which makes him visibly upset. In the meet and greet she introduced him as her BFF and he begrudgingly shook my hand. She generally mingled and ignored him most of the night, we went to a different place after the concert, and when she was ready to go she called up Punchy (her ride) and left.

Turns out he's the general orbiter of that friend group because after becoming friends with the girls on Facebook, I see him come up a lot. One of the other girls, prettier actually, has multiple orbiters that are all over her feed. Side note about other orbiter: I honestly thought she was dating Punchy2 for all the pictures she posts with him. Birthday surprises, cross-country road trips, comments and likes on all her posts etc. They're all younger than me, maybe early to mid 20s. Well one day she puts up a picture with a tatted-up, fit looking guy who is probably mid 40s with the caption 'couldn't be happier.' No orbiter likes on that one.

Anyways, back to Punchy 1, the other day girl 2 posted a picture of him laying on the floor of her apartment with her dog. The caption: "The only girl Mikey can get." All fun and games hahaha totes. Bitch is outright mocking her orbiter in public. Blew me away. Poor schmucks.

[–]1nzgs4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Punchy and Gorilla sound like characters from a Dr Swole story.

[–]ironblacksmith1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He spent the next hour describing all his travels, the places he was planning to go, the girl he just dumped because she wasn’t good enough for him. All the while Gorilla just sits there silently, but giving Crème very intense eye contact. He was seducing her without even saying a word.

Basically a tl;dr of TRP. Punchy had to try to prove himself, he had to claim he was cool (traveled), he had dreams (planned to travel), got women (ex girlfriend). All Gorilla needed to do was be. Attraction is subtle, it's going on underneath interactions in a sense, we just need to navigate this mysterious world of subtext that most men aren't even aware exists.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Reminds me of the classic story from Richard Feynman:

The master said, "This I know all about. I know exactly how it all works. I will give you lessons, so that hereafter you can get something from a girl in a bar like this. But before I give you the lessons, I must demonstrate that I really know what I'm talking about. So to do that, Gloria will get a man to buy you a champagne cocktail."

I say, "OK," though I'm thinking, "How the hell are they gonna do it?"

The master continued: "Now you must do exactly as we tell you. Tomorrow night you should sit some distance from Gloria in the bar, and when she gives you a sign, all you have to do is walk by."

"Yes," says Gloria. "It'll be easy."

The next night I go to the bar and sit in the corner, where I can keep my eye on Gloria from a distance. After a while, sure enough, there's some guy sitting with her, and after a little while longer the guy's happy and Gloria gives me a wink. I get up and nonchalantly saunter by. Just as I'm passing, Gloria turns around and says in a real friendly and bright voice,

"Oh, hi, Dick! When did you get back into town? Where have you been?" At this moment the guy turns around to see who this "Dick" is, and I can see in his eyes something I understand completely, since I have been in that position so often myself.

First look: "Oh-oh, competition coming up. He's gonna take her away from me after I bought her a drink! What's gonna happen?"

Next look: "No, it's just a casual friend. They seem to know each other from some time back." I could see all this. I could read it on his face. I knew exactly what he was going through.

Gloria turns to him and says, "Jim, I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine, Dick Feynman."

Next look: "I know what I'll do; I'll be kind to this guy so that she'll like me more."

Jim turns to me and says, "Hi, Dick. How about a drink?"

"Fine!" I say.

"What'll ya have?"

"Whatever she's having."

"Bartender, another champagne cocktail, please."

[–]taw1271 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is a great post.

I have a question though:

Is it necessarily a red flag when a man and a woman have been friends for a long time but don't date?

I only ask because I've got a friend like that and I'd like input. To be honest, we've fucked more than a few times in the past (though not for the last 2 years), but I was never interested in a relationship with her (too dramatic for my tastes) and so it never came to be.

At the same time, she's one of my oldest and best friends. She gives good advice, she's always down to cheer me up with a drink or a home-cooked meal, and she's helped me through some of the toughest parts of my life. Heck I'm part of her wedding party next year.

If you guys saw me out with her, would you automatically assume I'm an orbiter? It's usually clear from our dynamic that we respect each other (despite the fact that 70% of our conversations are measured insults and belittlement on both ends).

Is it bad to be loyal to a person you have no interest in fucking and who has no interest in fucking you?

[–]Endorsed ContributorThe_Titleist[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's not a red flag at all. I have been close to best friends with my ex girlfriend from high school for nearly ten years. Being friends with a woman does not necessarily mean that you're an orbiter. What determines an orbiter would be your behavior around her.

If what you say is true than I would never have described you like I did Punchy, there wouldn't have been an article at all. The guys in this sub can get a little harsh at times saying that men and women can never be friends and if you aren't alpha all the time you're a failure. Not true.

Personally, I say that any woman can be as good as man when it comes to friendship. Further, you're already fucked and have made a conscious decision to not pursue a relationship.

Do you value her as a friend? (It appears that you do) Are you getting what you want out of the relationship? Then fuck what anybody on some internet forum thinks about it.

[–]taw1270 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Fair point.

I thought that myself, but figured it was worth getting confirmation. I can't pretend to be 100% self-aware, especially about people I actually give two shits about.

[–]Endorsed ContributorThe_Titleist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's fair. Everyone is here for his own reasons. Good on you for having the balls to ask the question

[–]1DRMMR760 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You want a quick way to determine if you're an orbiter?

Are you getting what you want out of the interaction with her, and does she know you are or are not? If you are not getting what you want, she knows you're not getting what you want, but continues to get what she wants without reciprocating, you're an orbiter.

[–]taw1270 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's a good measure. Thanks!

PS: Sounds like not-an-orbiter.

[–]Nieben0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good post, whether or not it was real - it's certainly a plausible situation that probably plays out more often than one would hope.

Yeah, trying to make yourself look good ironically causes the opposite to happen, especially if the audience isn't interested in the speaker in the first place.

  1. Bragging - Outright saying something with the intent of making a person envious without giving them some kind of stimuli (humor, story-telling, etc.) is counterproductive. Everyone, especially women, see right through it. (Also, there's a difference between bragging and showing off.)
  2. Attempting to Garner Attention - Makes the audience see you as needy and desiring their approval. (You've lost what TRP calls frame.) You're trying to force a connection.
  3. Learn to Flirt/Game - Push boundaries with being cocky/witty. Tease. The other party's interest will be apparent in their reaction towards you.
  4. Learn to Tell Stories - Captivating an audience with a good story, interesting, dangerous or humorous, is a great way to project a leader image onto you as well as a great way to show that you can handle a social interaction with finesse. The story should come naturally as it is related to the conversation topic in some way shape or form.

[–]RawPoseidon0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Two questions:

  1. What is it like to go to a bar alone? I've always wanted to try. I'm a 22 year old college student, but I've only been to bars about ten times, since I'm usually pretty busy. Also, have a girlfriend, so hooking up isn't what I'm about.

  2. How'd you tear your labrum?

  • RawPoseidon

[–]Endorsed ContributorThe_Titleist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

  1. It's challenging, but can also be rewarding. I actually have a whole write up on it here

  2. It got torn in a car accident

[–]arinot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Better if you're a regular in a decent bar. College bars are meh.

Also beer gardens seem easier to meet people for me at least.



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