[Video] "When Men Make Less, Women Don't Want to Marry Them."

ragnarockette · 2018-11-07T14:38:02+00:00

Great video. My thoughts:

I think that there are two groups of men to discuss here. My initial reaction to this video was "Man, if my wife could earn more than I do, I would quit my job and start a business tomorrow." I think most guys who think that way would have no trouble maintaining their marriage through the economic disparity. Hell, a lot of women would probably love the idea of "investing" in their husbands financially. Particularly if their husband is uniquely intelligent, charming, well-educated, whatever.

However, most of the guys I know personally who are outearned by their wives suffer from a tremendous lack of ambition. They're the kinds of guys who have a skilled labor wife (Nurse, IT), so they shrink from trying to have a career and instead do a half-assed job of cleaning house before spending most of the day on Netflix or XBox live. I wouldn't expect a relationship like that to last. It's just too hard to work all day and come home to a disgusting house, make your own dinner, do your own dishes, then collapse in a heap on the bed and listen to stories about video games.

I suppose there is an element of a double standard in that case, because I also know plenty of women who half-assed clean a house before diving into Instagram for several hours. When a man does this, he's a "loser" or a "bum". When a woman does it, there just isn't that same social pressure. Still, if you're an asskicking entrepreneur, your wife outearning you will probably never make her think you're a loser. I think it's the perception of "wasting time" that leads to the social pressure that causes these types of relationships to end so much more frequently.

Wolfssenger · 2018-11-07T14:37:29+00:00

Which is exactly why I think it's a poor idea for women to default to pursuing a career as a life focus. It's a net negative for their happiness on average and it's not a sustainable societal model.

drigsbythekitty · 2018-11-08T02:24:45+00:00

Maybe this goes against RPW philosophy but I outearn my husband by 25% and he probably outhandles random household responsibilitys over me by 25%. We both do an equal share of parenting.

We are very happy and the money thing has never been a problem. We earn enough so that money is never a reason to argue or have a bad day and I am incredibly grateful for his support in parenting and household responsibilities.

I just add that there are a lot of ways to marital happiness.

liquidswan · 2018-11-07T18:06:20+00:00

As a man, I would love if my wife made more money, but to be perfectly honest, I’d prefer to work two jobs or a job and a half because I want to provide for my family as best as possible and I want my kids to have a parent at home at least while they are young.

TheLaughingRhino · 2018-11-07T21:06:46+00:00

While those statistics are interesting, I don't think they cover the deep rooted issues involved.

Fighting/conflict/stress over money is the NUMBER #1 reason for divorce and breakup of relationships.

How people handle money is based on their FINANCIAL VALUES

Nearly all people form their financial values from their "imprint" during their FORMATIVE YEARS ( Basically what they saw Dad and Mom do, they are likely to do, and this covers things like smoking, college, single parenthood, etc, etc, lots of issues)

If you are a man and you don't at least EQUAL the woman's financial lifestyle growing up, you are done. It's over. It means you cannot at least equal what her father/dominant male figure in her life gave her. This is a woman's hard baseline to money.

If you are a man and you are not the most financially successful man within the male mates in her female social circle AND her biggest female rival, then you are done. The least successful male in the male group is cannon fodder.

If she has to work a job she hates and there's no choice, you are done.

If you cannot survive on 30 percent of your income to a lifestyle YOU WANT, happening AFTER taxes and AFTER you've been divorced, which includes child support, alimony and sustaining an entire 2nd household, then you have no financial business getting married as a man. Any man marrying today, esp a Western/American man, should assume divorce. Someone will say he can get a prenuptial agreement and many of those don't hold up in Family Court. Once you marry, the PRIMARY BREADWINNER ( can be a man or a woman, but usually it's the man) has no protection. You can also NOT contract for any type of provisions for child support in a prenuptial agreement. Child support can be whatever the Family Court says it will be. Child support is overwhelmingly paid for by men to women, there is no formal standard to have anyone actually account how the receiving parent is spending it. The men who have no children and are not married are paying taxes. Those tax dollars support the social welfare system. EVERY WORKING PERSON IN AMERICA PAYS CHILD SUPPORT INDIRECTLY. To avoid paying child support, either for kids that are yours or the aggregate of kids who are not yours, is simply to be homeless.

If a woman is constantly complaining about needing more money to outsiders, esp other men, it means she's prime to branch swing if she can.

If you can sustain the above financially but are never home, because you have to commit to a career and holding your ground against rivals/competitors, then you are done.

I'm sure someone will say what I posted is pretty draconian in nature. Well, ladies, the NUMBER #1 conflict in relationships is money. You do the math.

I know a single mom who just got married. Her child is about 7 years old now. The new husband works hard, but can't afford to buy her a house. She grew up in a house. Done. Over. Not going to happen right this minute. But the guy is cooked.

I know a woman who works part time but her boyfriend is the primary breadwinner. They rent an apartment together. Not enough to buy a house, and never will at their current rate. Her "best friend" just bought a nice house in the best part of town with her new husband, who owns several local businesses. This woman grew up in a house and went to private school, funded by her loving good old Dad. Guess what? Her boyfriend is done. Over.

I know a woman who had a child get old enough to not need her full time care. Her choices were to go back into the workforce or get pregnant again. She can't get pregnant again. She is now hunting for a branch swing for someone to take care of her and her three kids. Her husband can't swing it for her to become a SAHW. Her biggest female rival is a SAHW. Her husband doesn't see it, but he's done. Over.

They may not leave. These situations. But they'll just take it out on the guy. Less sex. No sex. Nagging. Shit tests. Jabs. Less care to their appearance. Letting hypergamy take hold.

But it's all relative. I know a woman who was not a US citizen. She worked in a food service job and me her future husband. Who came from an upper middle class family. She went from sharing a room with her 6 siblings in a bad part of town to living in a house and the guy has a timeshare at a winter lodge.

It doesn't have to be lifestyles of the rich and famous, it just needs to be equal or better to what she had growing up and equal or better than her social female peers/rivals. That could be a guy who is a billionaire. It could be a guy working 30 years working for a state university in a stable job with good medical insurance.

Any marriage is only stable as long as the woman gets what she wants or what she thinks she wants when she wants it and exactly how she wants it without ever saying any of it out loud, in so much as she is the gatekeeper of sex. This could be finances, validation, attention, vacations, whatever.

I have never seen a stable American marriage in my entire life. I have seen some pretty good actors and actresses though. Elite thespians really.

Alice: Where is this love? I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words. Do you still fancy me?

Dan: Of course.

Alice: You're lying. I've been you

Patrick Marber's Closer

[deleted] · 2018-11-07T16:13:40+00:00

I have seen a marriage work fine when the wife earned three times as much as the guy, but he had to pick up the slack by covering a lot of the typically feminine jobs. He worked from home so could be with the baby more while she was a lawyer frequently away on business trips. He would be responsible for a lot of the home care, cleaning, and maintenance jobs. He also had to take care of cooking dinner every night. It worked for them and she showed him respect and deference but I think a lot of men would find it immasculating. For me personally, it is just mentally easier to stay in my place and show appropriate respect when my partner out earns me. I have yet to meet a man that could do the traditionally feminine tasks better than I can and my fiance certainly can not match my home making and cooking skills. It would lead me to have less respect for him if I out earned him and he had to pic up slack with these others tasks but could not do them all as competently as I would like. It would be so easy for the dynamic we love a lot to go to garbage and I think it can play out like this in a lot of marriages. I had planned to get an advanced degree and pursue a lucrative career when I met my fiance. We both came to realize that if I did that and made more money than him, odds were high my respect and admiration for him would plummet. I chose to not get the advanced degree (which will spare us from having bunches of student debt to deal with) and he took me ring shopping not long after. No regrets here, but I feel like I may have had serious regrets if I stuck to my original plan and tanked this wonderful relationship by not being able to stifle the empowered harpy.

Title	[Video] "When Men Make Less, Women Don't Want to Marry Them."
Author	Daktush
Upvotes	71
Comments	25
Date	November 7, 2018 2:09 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/9uzpvb/video_when_men_make_less_women_dont_want_to_marry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/video-when-men-make-less-women-dont-want-to-marry.67802 https://theredarchive.com/post/67802

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