Male friend of 10 years turned into my beta orbiter

2018-12-01T13:27:18+00:00

This is the trouble with Friend Zone victims. You can't claim that you were Friend Zoned, when you really just didn't have the balls to speak up and ask a girl out. He didn't even tell you in person, but over text. He hasn't really even been your friend for three years. He's just been hoping to trade favors for sex. It's okay to decide you're out on this relationship.

TFWyourWaifuDies · 2018-12-01T06:45:31+00:00

9 times out of 10, men and women can't be friends. There is going to be someone, usually the male, who is open to sex. Many men are going to able to control that urge, but it still exists deep down. And this fundamentally changes the friendship into a delayed period of courtship.

If you choose to have male "friends", expect these kinds of issues to pop up.

Zegiknie · 2018-12-01T06:32:28+00:00

Totally okay, not at all immature. For his sake, too, cutting off contact will give him the chance to move on! No cause for guilt at all.

I don't do male friends anymore. It just gets too complicated. But I'm married.

If you're single, it's kind of odd and nearly impossible to keep men at arms length all the time - you still need to find one, right? But you can safely assume nearly all male friends are beta orbiters. Or at least they would like to have sex with you (and with your female friends/cousins/sisters, and they want to use you as social evidence because it enables the seduction of other girls). If you just hang out, without seriously shared activities and hobbies... yeah they're just trying to keep options open.

It's good for single ladies to have a social circle including men and women, but don't get too close unless you want either him or drama like this.

Keep this in mind though - their fantasies are theirs and none of your business. Men will masturbate to you whether you talk to them or not - they just need a glimpse of you. So don't freak out too much, their sexuality is just different. And those differences between men and women can be chaneled usefully if you learn to work with them - that's what RPW is about!

CandidCourage · 2018-12-01T22:34:07+00:00

You sound immature. Why are all your male friends geeky, outcasted guys with weird sexual fetishes? And why do you know this? What is wrong with you that has made you want to hang around this type of person? I have dozens of male friends from all kinds of social circles and none of them fit that description. I think you are blowing the whole situation out of proportion because he's not attractive. It's normal for men and women to be attracted to each other and sometimes that starts with friendship. Yes he has gone about it in a weird and socially awkward way but he is a weird and socially awkward guy. It's honestly not a big deal I think the eye opener should be who you are choosing to make your friends and spend your time with. If you want guy friends maybe you should meet normal healthy guys that like doing activities that you do in a social club or somewhere that normal healthy men go.

WarViper1337 · 2018-12-01T18:06:57+00:00

Obviously you don't like the guy which is fine but you can do better next time something like this happens. You should have told him right away you do not share the same feelings. Since you told him it was "ok" you sent him a really confusing signal so really you have yourself to blame for not setting the record straight about your feelings.

If you make friends with men you should not be surprised if some of them will want to take things further or want to have sex with you. Men do not view relationships in the same way women do. If a friend of yours opens up about their feelings for you the best thing you can ever do for them is be 100% truthful on whether or not you feel the same way.

Lastly you should cut contact with him or at the very least make sure you tell him in plain language you don't have those kinds of feelings for him.

JJ3314 · 2018-12-02T23:31:36+00:00

I really don’t understand the severity of reaction I’m seeing here to this guy. I had women develop feelings for me when I was younger, in highschool and college. I never related to them with the degree of disdain the OP is doing here, even if there was little to no attraction there from my end. Unless the person is being overbearing or coercive the proper reaction—regardless of your level of attraction for the person—is compassion. Let them down easily, but firmly, but don’t judge them for taking an interest in you. And sure the friendship shouldn’t continue, but that’s because it would be better for him to stop seeing her again if there’s no chance, since the feelings otherwise might not go away, not because he’s creepy or did something wrong, or some other such nonsense. Sure you can fault him for not fessing up sooner, but the OP would be in the exact same position as she is now if he confessed 3 years ago. The way OP is reacting to this person, you would think he was a pedophile or serial killer!

I furthermore want to know how she would feel if her confessing her interest in a given man was met with downright revulsion and contempt? How would she feel if her wanting to marry a man made him feel like throwing up in his mouth? Like she was the filthiest person on the planet for displaying emotional vulnerability towards him? It’s not hard to engage in this mental exercise, so why doesn’t she do it?

Man, I just don’t get it. When I see evidence of men plating women more and more, and committing less and less, before outright condemning them, I remind myself that a significant proportion of the female population treats men and their emotions as beneath contempt, but then later on insists that a given man of their choice sees them as worthy of marrying and starting a family with. Even if you are a man with a conscience, how can you bring children into this world, and build a life with a person that is incapable of seeing your humanity? Why would you want to engage in such an endeavor?

plein_old · 2018-12-01T06:19:25+00:00

lol. Your response sounds totally appropriate to me.

Some people think geeky, outcast, weird men are cute. But when you really get to know them and know what makes them tick... are they still cute?

If you're wondering what a "mature" response might be, you could just reduce contact significantly without making a big deal about it. Seek out people with qualities you value, maybe, rather than choosing what is easy or comfortable...? Good luck.

Edited to add two words to clarify meaning.

2018-12-01T07:05:13+00:00

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loneliness-inc · 2018-12-02T03:36:07+00:00

As I always say - men and women cannot be just friends!

If you're wondering whether he masturbates to you - probably, but so does every other man who finds you attractive. They just don't tell you about it.

Honestly, what were you thinking, that you just had this growing friendship that would remain platonic?

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2018-12-05T06:58:07+00:00

Yes, lots of masturbation whole thinking of you. I think that’s what powers their Orbiter engine.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2018-12-03T22:48:39+00:00

Most male friends that initiate contact or seek you out to spend time with are actively trying to create something more.

Look at it this way: what do you have in common with him? If there is nothing substantial, then odds are you aren’t really friends, he’s just passively trying to sleep with you and too scared to actively try.

Think about why men are friends with other men: they like to do the same stuff. Why are women friends with other women? They like to do the same stuff. Would you two have similar interests without each other? If no then one of you is probably into the other for more than just fruendship

pearlsandstilettos · 2018-12-01T08:34:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Male friend of 10 years turned into my beta orbiter
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	30
Date	December 1, 2018 6:05 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/a20l5n/male_friend_of_10_years_turned_into_my_beta/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/male-friend-of-10-years-turned-into-my-beta.67904 https://theredarchive.com/post/67904

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