When is it acceptable to do nice things for him?

throwaway23004345 · 2020-03-04T00:13:54+00:00

Eh I wouldn’t cook, clean or do laundry for someone who is not my husband. Even if you’re gonna get him a gift don’t make it too expensive. Idk what you did for your ex but men get bored and ungrateful pretty easily. Even if a man is HV you always have to protect yourself first imo

And why did you enjoy doing things for a lvm?

FodderFigureIllushun · 2020-03-04T01:20:29+00:00

High value women are always nice. Meaning they're always respectful and polite. Not meaning they're doormats.

You're being nice to him by showing up to the date dressed well and in good behavior. It is his pleasure to be seen out with you. It is his pleasure to treat you to a nice dinner and drop you off to your house at a reasonable hour. You're a lady.

You can start "doing" for him after you are married. That means cooking, buying thoughtful gifts, and caring for him. Anything before then, you're just being nice.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-03-04T02:50:47+00:00

I'd say make sure he has done three or more things that have been a nice surprise or a nice romantic gesture before you do anything particularly nice for him. And it can't be more than what he's done. And don't repeat it again until he has done at least three more nice things. And so on, and so forth. Men can lose respect when women take charge like that. You have to be careful. We can't show a man how we want to be treated by treating them in that way. They have to already be that type of man. I know this from years of experience.

level_up_always · 2020-03-04T02:15:10+00:00

I am of the camp to never do anything nice but I wouldn't say that's the consensus. If he pays your rent, get him a candy bar if he buys you diamonds get him some socks. I've gotten expensive gifts before they don't appreciate it in the same way and internalize them as the prize when we are. I like doing those things too but it honestly doesn't work. Right now I make little handmade gifts sometimes if I only feel like it bc I like doing art anyway or literally get socks from the dollar tree I know he likes because it's the thought that counts. I don't think anything more than a card for most occasions is fine.

goddess-of-compost · 2020-03-04T01:21:33+00:00

Maybe in a very committed, long term, living-together type of relationship.

My fool-in-love side has cooked, or even once felt inspired to not just touch his laundry, but treat it better than my own ... and only one man has ever shown ANY appreciation for that.

In fact, while I have learned from this, and intend to tone this impulse down in the future... seeing how these men responded to these gestures was a great way to figure out that they weren’t the sort of man I’m looking for. It’s lovely to be naturally sweet, and I want us to feel free to honor that part of our nature ... but part of that is doing our best to make sure NONE of our sweetness is taken for granted.

Once, I often took a certain ex out for meals AND cooked nice homemade ones, all on my tab. The only reason that felt okay was that, unlike the LVMs, this man was spending lots of time energy stepping up as a man, doing things to take care of me. He even insisted on deep cleaning my kitchen while I lounged in bed for an hour, blissed out from sex - completely unasked.

nik_em · 2020-03-04T00:09:18+00:00

NEVER. Being with you must be nice enough for him

redfarmmmmm · 2020-03-04T08:31:37+00:00

Don’t ever buy a gift for him. Guys like pursuing girls and the more he invest the harder is for him to leave.

9penguin · 2020-03-04T06:54:49+00:00

Anytime, just 1. Don't be too nice (only do things that you'll for your friends but not to a boyfriend or husband) and 2. If he doesn't do a nice thing back or be ungrateful about it, either stop doing nice things for him or do less effort next time. Give unconditionally but smartly, don't give more to takers.

Kindness is for everyone, until they shit on you then screw him.

raiu86 · 2020-03-04T20:08:07+00:00

On his birthday. But maybe not the first one together if he hasn't had the chance to treat you for Christmas/Valentine's/your birthday. And don't out do him.

Title	When is it acceptable to do nice things for him?
Author	australice
Upvotes	37
Comments	12
Date	March 3, 2020 11:21 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fd3jzj/when_is_it_acceptable_to_do_nice_things_for_him/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-is-it-acceptable-to-do-nice-things-for-him.680976 https://theredarchive.com/post/680976

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