[Discussion] Has anyone here found quality partners resulting in a healthy relationship from sex apps like Tinder?

penelopekitty · 2020-02-16T16:45:49+00:00

Tinder is especially bad. When it first launched it did not have the reputation it has now. It was billed as and seemed at the time as a fun way to meet people for friendships and dates that you wouldn't ordinarily meet. It also came at a time when phone apps were becoming popular. Prior to that you would have to spend time on your computer using Match, OKCupid and eHarmony. Tinder took advantage of the new technology.

What happened? Well, men. Men are why we can't have nice things. The problem is not the app, or any of the dating apps really. The problem is that the vast majority of men out there online AND the ones you meet IRL are very LV. The apps just expose us to more of them in a more concentrated way.

That being said almost everyone I know these days, with the exception of people who met their SO in college, uses these apps to meet and date. Some people have found relationships that way.

I have not been successful with OLD but neither have I been successful using other methods. Specifically introductions from friends and meeting men out and about. The reason is that it is never the method of meeting the man that is the issue - but the man himself.

Ladies, don't use OLD if you don't want to, but also, don't kid yourself into thinking there is a better selection of men hiding somewhere else you haven't yet found. Remember, the problem is men in general.

Evil_Rao · 2020-02-16T16:31:48+00:00

My last relationship that lasted three years started on Tinder and I'm currently dating an interesting guy I found there too. The problem is that there are sooooo many LVM just looking for easy sex and they are ruining apps for everyone. I totally understand when people decide to give up on OLD, it's super tiring.

Nearby-Armadillo · 2020-02-16T16:35:48+00:00

You have to sort through a lot of trash but I've met some really wonderful men on tinder. Just like the world in general. No matter where you go you're going to have to wade through a lot of crap to get to anything good.

SslimReaperr · 2020-02-16T18:16:50+00:00

for every decent guy on tinder there are 200-400 LVM

lonelybones1 · 2020-02-16T15:54:26+00:00

I just asked myself this question too. I met my ex on tinder and he turned out to be a LVM. In the beginning he lovebombed me and showed some red flags that suggested he was a narcissist but I ignored them at the time because I was desperate. I still cringe so hard when I think of it all and the way he disrespected me (like not listening to me in bed or not caring about my pleasure). My ex then dumped me via Whatsapp because I dared to make a reddit post asking for advice because I felt like he wasn't really that committed (it was my first relationship).

Another time was when I got talking to a guy on tinder and he seemed nice but after 5 days still didn't ask me out so I did (idiotic I know). He said something along the lines of "we'll see" and only then I realised and I cut it off.

This was my tinder experience in Ireland but idk how it is in other countries (I guess it's similar in the US).

I only tried tinder in the first place because two of my former coworkers had success and were in "loving relationships". One of them had a guy who would really make an effort and it made me jealous because I didn't get the same from my ex.

I heard of people marrying off tinder so I suppose there is always a possibility of meeting a HVM but it's not a very high chance. You just have to be cautious and try to meet guys irl too.

ldid · 2020-02-16T19:06:45+00:00

Can't say that I have. The last few men I've dated off of OLD:

8 months - only gave oral on "special occasions" (2 times in 8 months)

3 months - accused me of giving him an STI when it was actually because he didn't wash under his uncircumcised penis

3 months - lied about not wanting kids (I don't want them... Had to discover while he was drunk that he actually did want them)

3 months - lied about where he was when we were supposed to have dinner plans and I found out about it. Ended it. Comes back around six months later asking me to go to Mexico for two weeks because "he's wanted to be with me and only me and we always got along so well"... Complete psychopath

3 months - abusive narcissist who did everything to break me down to nothing

Three months seems to be my cut off for when they start showing their true colours.

The amount of filtering through trash you have to do to find some decent people on OLD is not really worth your time unfortunately.

I always wish the people who are brave enough to stick it out find someone great but the stats don't exactly favour that result.

responsiblenatures · 2020-02-16T20:18:29+00:00

The problem with online dating apps is they share the base value that defines low value men. The entire point of tinder and similar apps is to make dating take less effort. If a guy is single and the first thing he thinks is “what’s the easiest way to get a girlfriend” do you think he plans on finding the girl with no effort and THEN putting in effort AFTER she’s agreed to be in a relationship with him? No the LVM is the LVM because he doesn’t want to put in effort and there’s nothing lower effort than an app you can download and simply swipe left or right based on looks alone. If you think men are reading your profile you’re woefully misinformed, most men take maybe 5 seconds look before swiping either left or right. Chances are when he matches with you on tinder he doesn’t even remember swiping on you and is rather selecting you only based on the fact that you’ve made it easier for him. My old coworkers would just swipe right over and over and not even look at all. Then when they saw the ones that they could get, they’d pick and choose from THOSE. Tinder guarantees a LVM that he won’t have to put in any extra effort before he’s rewarded. Stay away from it.

eng2fly · 2020-02-16T20:52:22+00:00

Met my guy on tinder and he flags very HVM. Mostly though it’s full of couch creatures.

nosynobody · 2020-02-16T18:47:31+00:00

I met my current so on tinder. I've met some terrible men out there. With my s/o it seems more to be desperation, he moved states, got out of a serious relationship and went on a terrible date with someone he met irl. So he decided to like OLD.

He pursued me for a bit and brought up being serious on the first date which was a bit of a red flag. Now after knowing him for almost 2 years, i know that he's never dated casually. He also tells me he's good instincts and knew he wanted something serious from the get go.

SpecificPatience8 · 2020-02-17T15:05:15+00:00

Based on experience i think it is possible but you have to be very careful and the first 10-20 men you meet are going to be LVM.

2020-02-18T03:44:12+00:00

Met my wonderful boyfriend on Tinder, they do exist.

Title	[Discussion] Has anyone here found quality partners resulting in a healthy relationship from sex apps like Tinder?
Author	responsiblenatures
Upvotes	55
Comments	20
Date	February 16, 2020 3:38 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f4s8as/discussion_has_anyone_here_found_quality_partners/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/discussion-has-anyone-here-found-quality-partners.682331 https://theredarchive.com/post/682331

Comments