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indeelirium
[–]nunmodePickmeisha™️249 points250 points251 points 6 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
And if its RED and GREEN flags, dont just leave, RUN. Psychopaths out here rampant
[+][deleted] 6 years ago* (11 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]babe__ruthlessFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Your description is eerily familiar.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]babe__ruthlessFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. Blocked on everything
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn. That sounded exactly like my ex.
[–]TangerineSolFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh god I wish I was here a year and a half ago.
[–]hey_its_rey13 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Where were you before I married the living breathing personification of this comment? This shit is REAL!
[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yeah consistency is KEY
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Girl! I dated that guy for way too long. Even after i figured out it was a cluster B, I still hung around. Never again.
[–]_simply_becka_FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I needed to read this thank you.
[–]Tar_alcaranFDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Some red, some green" still means some are red. "Mostly green" still means some are red.
Leeeeaaave
[–]prettyexcitingnewsFDS Disciple39 points40 points41 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Amen. Do not ever expect they will change. Big no no.
[–]DatonecatladyuknoFDS Apprentice72 points73 points74 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s science
[–]plembbFDS Newbie78 points79 points80 points 6 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link
Been running into a lot of guys 27-35 who still live with their parents. WHAT the fuck. #kickhimout2020
[–]sschwa45155 points156 points157 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Student loans, unaffordable housing market, stagnant wages... 1/4 of people that age are living with parents and it’s not due to a failure to “adult”
[–]Montpellier3334 points35 points36 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My mom straight-up told me in high school that once I turned 18 I was never allowed to live at home again. And it hasn't always been easy, but I figured out how to avoid that. So someone who has parents still caring for them at 30 is never gonna have the same kind of perspective on life as I do. They may not be a bad person, but there is a certain kind of immaturity inherent in that imo.
Now my boyfriend lived with his mom until he was 26, but that situation was more the other way around. They were immigrants and when he was 16 he started working full time and going to school full time so he could help his mom pay rent. He then did that for 10 years so he wouldn't lose legal immigrant status before he got full rights to work without being a student. He still helps his mom out with some of her bills while paying his student loans. That's impressive as fuck, imo...
[–]plembbFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We are allowed to have our own personal standards.
[–]monkieturtle173 points174 points175 points 6 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I think not all guys living with parents are Red flags. Sometimes it depends on the cultures too, where guys continue to live with parents until marriage.
[–]humanwithfoodnameFDS Newbie70 points71 points72 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same. I live in DC and the guy I’m currently dating lives with his parents in DC too. I’d be living with my folks too if that was an option. Instead, a b-tch is struggling to keep up with the rapidly increasing cost of living just because I love living here
[–]bunsmoriaFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. My sister and I still live with our fam
[–]SangeliaStorckFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agree. Some may be living with their moms due to deathbed promises.
Some are there due to religion. As in the bachelors stay living at home til they are married. Some are living at home to increase their bank accounts in order to move out once married.
I know of one such dude. His situation is a deathbed promise. Unfortunately for him. His mom won't move out until he is married. He refuses to get married til she moves out. Thing is, as I mentioned. His dad died when he was in his late teens. And made my friend to live at home to help out his mom. He is now fifty six years old. And will most likely never get married. Which is ironic. His dad kept trying for a son to carry on the family name. The guy is the youngest out of five. The other four are girls. And my friend is not passing on his name due to the situation.
[+]plembbFDS Newbie-31 points-30 points-29 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
In Canada, it’s a red flag
[–]freedandelionsFDS Newbie77 points78 points79 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Depends on the guy, there’s “living at home because of no ambitions” and “tolerating living with parents to achieve financial stability” Rent is no joke here. It’s very expensive to live on your own.
[–]plembbFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Living with roommates can be understandable, but pushing 30 and still living at home is a big fat indication that he can’t cut the cord. When I moved to the city at age 24 I had no family, friends, or savings. I took the first job I could find (paid shit), my rent was 2/3 of my income. I chose to buck up, work hard, be frugal and now 3 years later I’m in excellent financial shape. If I can do it, any man should be more than capable of it too. I expect a man to bring the same shit to the table that I do.
No excuses. These boys need to man tf up.
[–]freedandelionsFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You’re right and I totally agree with you. I guess what I’m saying is I know a few men who have excellent relationships with their families and high paying jobs and are just staying home so that when they move out they can buy a house instead of renting. It’s another approach to starting life that I don’t think is necessarily a negative.
[–]pinkliquorFDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I still live home at 31, and it’s only because renting here is ridiculously expensive and I’m saving so I can just go buy a house instead of wasting it on rent. It makes more sense to me. I pay all my own bills, work, go to school, have a decent car, etc. Of course I would prefer not having to still be home, but it is what it is for now. If a man is in the same predicament as me, I wouldn’t judge. Now, if he still lived home with no goals and still living off mommy and daddy’s money- that’s a red flag.
[–]plembbFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I get it. I suppose it’s personal preference. The top guy I’m seeing in my rotation is 28 and lives with several roommates in a not so great part of town, his rent is really low. He’s saving for a 20% down payment and very close to his goal of purchasing a home (housing prices are unbelievable here). He moved out of his parent’s place when he was 18, he wanted his independence as soon as possible.
This is the shit that I admire, the tenacity and independence. It’s so sexy.
[–]freedandelionsFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I get that attraction for sure, I’m in the same boat. I’m in a LTR though so I haven’t had the experience of dating guys in their late 20s who may or may not still live at home. Maybe I would judge them just a little for not having already overcome the step of living on their own. I would definitely question their cooking skills. It would not be a red flag though. Just some extra questions.
[–]CharlotteNotCharlie12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Depends where you live, not everywhere is affordable on a single income. I'd rather live with parents than a crazy roommate.
[–]anastasia_al2FDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Do you all view women that still live at home the same way? This just made me feel even more like a giant loser lol. I live with my mother and younger siblings, but I pay my own bills and rent. I’m just trying to get my life together and it’s cheaper than getting my own place.
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I opted for a trailer in a park because it made the most financial sense for me. I make great money but I had a lot of debt. Don't feel bad. Take your time getting yourself in order. It's really hard out there. I now love my place, and I own it,so I'm not even sure I'll buy a regular home.
[–]plembbFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to make anyone feel like a loser! This is just my own standard and preference when dating. I live alone and expect the guy I am dating to at least live apart from his parents.
[–]masterofthebarkartsFDS STRATEGY COACH23 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Important to suss out why though - my husband moved back in with his parents when he came back to the city so he could save up and buy a place. Had lived on his own for like 10 years at that point.
Even if it's cultural, I would still be SUPER hesitant to date a man who had *never* lived on his own at 35. All the ones I've met had an extreme aversion to any kind of housework and were perpetually under-employed man-children.
[–]plembbFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is what I’m saying. Financial freedom and owning a home are wonderful things, but a man who is well into adulthood and has never moved out of his parents place likely has not learned how to cook, clean or do laundry and will expect his wife to pick up that slack. I’ve seen it pan out in my parents marriage and other family members. It won’t be me.
[–]masterofthebarkartsFDS STRATEGY COACH8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yuuuup. I am willing to concede that there are definitely lovely men that age currently living with their parents (heck, I married one). There may even be men that age who have never moved out who are nonetheless independent, responsible adults, but I have never met one, and I wouldn't advise any woman I was friends with to bet on those odds.
[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
absolutely- you need to take note of whether they help around the house and keep their own rooms tidy and organised. A LOT of men living at home still get way too comfy, aren't actually saving money, live like a slob and are just trying to extend their childhoods well into their late 20s...its too tempting for them if their mother is smothering them still. I would be very hesitant to get serious with a man like that because a lot of times they are looking at you to be their replacement mommy
women that have lived out for at least a few years are already in the routine of keeping a home running & understand financial planning better- if he has not learnt that yet or done it for a few years at least you are coming at totally different angles. I mean half the time they aren't paying full rent/bills to their parents either- so they still aren't dealing with the adult reality of things- and if they aren't actually putting that spare money into something useful, like a deposit, Its clear hes just avoiding adulthood. Ideally I would expect a man to be moved out and totally independent by 28 unless they are studying for a masters or something. I think its genuinely embaressing when men are still living at home in their 30s- don't you want any privacy regarding your sex/love life? When is he gonna move out-38?
the reason being- women are generally far more cleaner and house trained than men....so if you're dating a guy that has never moved out & he is of age...good luck with that because chances are you will be picking up where his mum left off
[–]ThrowawayFDS123 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I mean, I did until I got married, I had my house paid off by 34 years old.
[–]nunmodePickmeisha™️0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nice!
[+]throwawway2091-7 points-6 points-5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When is this okay? By 27 still living with mommy and daddy? That's a red flag from me, next! boy bye
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[–]nunmodePickmeisha™️249 points250 points251 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (11 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]babe__ruthlessFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]babe__ruthlessFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TangerineSolFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]hey_its_rey13 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_simply_becka_FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tar_alcaranFDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]prettyexcitingnewsFDS Disciple39 points40 points41 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DatonecatladyuknoFDS Apprentice72 points73 points74 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]plembbFDS Newbie78 points79 points80 points (34 children) | Copy Link
[–]sschwa45155 points156 points157 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Montpellier3334 points35 points36 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]plembbFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]monkieturtle173 points174 points175 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]humanwithfoodnameFDS Newbie70 points71 points72 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bunsmoriaFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SangeliaStorckFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]plembbFDS Newbie-31 points-30 points-29 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]freedandelionsFDS Newbie77 points78 points79 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]plembbFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]freedandelionsFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]pinkliquorFDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]plembbFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]freedandelionsFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CharlotteNotCharlie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]anastasia_al2FDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ms_TillyRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]plembbFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]masterofthebarkartsFDS STRATEGY COACH23 points24 points25 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]plembbFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]masterofthebarkartsFDS STRATEGY COACH8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThrowawayFDS123 points24 points25 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]nunmodePickmeisha™️0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]throwawway2091-7 points-6 points-5 points (1 child) | Copy Link