Throwaway because he knows my username, TL;DR at the bottom.
We have been dating for nearly 6 years and moved together a few months ago. So far I thought he was the most decent guy Iâve ever met. Doesnât follow any Instagram models, doesnât like pictures of other girls, doesnât watch porn. He always told me he isnât really interested in those things. I though wow, guys like this really exist?
We have a relaxed relationship, there isnât much jealousy or any suspicion. We donât hide our phones from each other and know our passcodes. We never actually check each others phone even though we could any time.
Today my phone died. I asked if I could use his phone for a bit, I actually only wanted to see if the winners of a raffle on Instagram got announced. We still had a long car drive so I swiped through his feed. He pretty much uses IG only for memes, he sends me some every day. Found nothing interesting, so I opened his saves.
I was honestly expecting some high quality memes, but found instead dozens of pictures of korean girls and k-pop stars, some half naked. All asian with a beautiful face, flawless skin and hair, super skinny or tiny, big chest and flat ass. Then there is me, white, a little chubby, flat chest, bad skin, hair loss, braces, saving up for surgery while trying to loose weight. He knows I dislike a lot of things about myself, but he always told me I look fine, Iâm still cute, I shouldnât worry etc.
It kind of felt like my heart broke into two pieces when I saw those pictures today. Iâve had such a different image of him in my head and only found out today that he is just like any other guy. What else is he hiding?
I feel so disappointed, uncomfortable and insecure now. Itâs like Iâm not his type at all. Why would he date me if he clearly prefers asian girls? Iâm also his first caucasian girlfriend, all his exes were asian.
I need advice, am I overreacting or imagining things here? What should I say to him? Heâs the type to talk himself out of any situation instead of just admitting and apologizing.
TL;DR Thought my asian boyfriend is a super decent guy, is saving pictures of half naked korean girls on Instagram, Iâm caucasian and look nothing like them.
[â]jewdy09Pickmeishaâ˘ď¸50 points51 points52 points (0 children) | Copy Link
She has as a horrible self image which doesnât help anything. We need to stop describing ourselves with a list of our perceived flaws. Every woman does this, even the ones we can all agree are âconventionally beautiful.â Iâm a million things but the things I donât love about my body arenât at the top of that list and only make up a small fraction of that list.
Knowing your worth and being proud of your accomplishments doesnât make you an egomaniac. It makes you confident and more desirable. Anyone who aims to knock you down a peg by pointing out your flaws is an asshole and the only input worth giving or considering is that which lifts one up.
[â]lrprc00FDS Newbie45 points46 points47 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Comment section is PickMe central ... couldnât be me. Hope she leaves him.
[â]bestladeeFDS Newbie42 points43 points44 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Weirdos. Itâs TOTALLY not ok when your boyfriend is pining after/fetishizing women who donât look a thing like you.
You can rest assured heâs thinking about them when having sex with you and if he was ever able to attain one of the women he lurks would leave you in the dust.
Common sense!!
[â]abacadabatFDS Newbie93 points94 points95 points (13 children) | Copy Link
"My bf likes big tits and skinny girls. I'm not those things. He has FLASH DRIVES of porn. Doesn't mean he finds me any less attractive."
this poor soul... flashdrives of porn?
[â]alivebut-justbarelyFDS Apprentice76 points77 points78 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Anyone else sick of the women on reddit who jump at any chance to tell women in OP's situation that their BF/husband is obsessed with porn and it's ok because they're a cool girl who isn't jealous or insecure?
[â]grimreapersdtrFDS Disciple37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I have a feeling a large number of those pick-mes are actually men posing as women. You can peek at their post history and figure it out pretty fast.
[â]coasspellmanFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
God women like that are SO sad and SO hard to be around. They donât love themselves and it shows every time they interact with men.
[+][deleted] (6 children) | Copy Link
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[â]abacadabatFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
she's trying so hard to rationalize this mental fuckery. hurts to read
[+][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
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[â]grimreapersdtrFDS Disciple21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Where did you find him? In Amish country? In a blind men's institute?
No, seriously, I'm jealous. I wasted a decade of my life on an unrepentant porn addict.
[â][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Same! My ex was addicted to watching porn (I didn't know that when we started dating) and I was confused why he was so violent in bed. My husband doesn't watch porn at all, isn't sex obsessed in general, and very loving and giving in bed. Males who don't watch porn are extremely rare nowadays though. It's so embedded into society, that a normal thinking woman who calls out that behavior is called insecure and unrealistic. No thank you, I won't play an extended masturbator for some limp dick boy.
[â][deleted] 20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Imagine showing him your flash drive of 6'+ hairless dudes with abs and big dicks. đ I would do this and say it's my fetish.
[â]SaitschikFDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points (0 children) | Copy Link
When your pick-me level reaches outer space đ
[â]rad_daphneFDS STRATEGY COACH63 points64 points65 points (0 children) | Copy Link
"He's got nothing to be sorry for. Having a fetish is completely normal."
All of these people should be ashamed. Men treat women like shit and everyone tells her to lap it up and shut up.
Happily to my grave alone if my only choice is one of these pigs. I thought it was bad what women were told to put up with when I was growing up but it has gotten worse and worse by the year.
[â]AverageToHotRuthless Strategist18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
/u/throwRAclown
[â]Blackishcat27FDS STRATEGY COACH32 points33 points34 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Poor girl. It's really depressing that women are made to feel like there is something wrong with them or they're insecure if they don't want their partner looking at other women in a hyper sexual way.