Hello all,

I am not sure if this is the place to ask this sort of question but I need some advice. I met someone on tinder, my intentions were only to get "foot worship". I found someone though that I found really attractive, and we had a serious connection. He actually took me on thoughtful and expensive dates, so I stopped seeing and communicating with other guys to focus on him. The more we dated the more prominent red flags arose, and I'm embarrassed to repeat some of the things he said but to give you a sense of what he was like, here are some direct quotes:

"If you were on your cycle I would still give you oral sex"

"I'm in a separate relationship with your feet"

"My fantasy is rape"

"I used her for sex, but so what thats the past"

"I would have gotten away with it if She only called ten minutes later"

"Blah your emotional bullshit"

"I don't care of it hurts you need to take it so I can cum"

These words were alarming, but in true codependent fashion, I stuck around for more. On many instances I noticed that most of the women that knew him hated his guts. He bragged about when he used to be a player, and told me about his addiction to porn. He has erectile dysfunction, and his doctor actually said it was in relation to his use of porn. All of these things screamed RUN but I never had a deep connection with someone as fast as we did. I started to notice speech patterns that were familiar to my ex, a complete sociopath. I started piecing things together that he could possibly be on the spectrum as well. We were watching a tv show one night and I asked him if X should kill his girlfriend. His exact words were "Maybe in the future but he should definitely have sex with her one last time before he does" Idk if I am overthinking this but he really has little to no conscience.

Anyway a girl that I told him to block from his phone popped back up and I told him that we would break up if he didnt show me his texts. Here she is blasting him for using her and cheating on her and that he owes her $600. He told me this was only someone that he was having fun with but it ended when we started dating. I am not amused. So I ask him the extent of his relationship with her and he admits that they had been seeing each other for 10 months and by month 4 she said she wanted commitment so he lied to her to continue having sex. I asked to see a picture of her and Im sorry to say she was not attractive in the least, and he is probably a 9. I knew instantly that he was using her and it probably wasnt even just sex. Then my mind started racing about what he could be using me for, and while I find myself attractive Im not exactly set in my career right now so that makes me insecure as to why he would have invested so much in our relationship.

Now he is introducing me to his daughter (9) and we are dropping his daughter off to her mother. On the way there he tells me that he wants me to intimidate her because she disrespects him daily and if she sees that I am taller and stronger than her she will back off. The energy he had was spiteful and corny. I was appalled. She was appalled. He was proud of himself.

That same night he calls me to tell me that the girl he used for sex changed her whats app status to something to the effect of "You went with the side bitch you could never replace this" and he is nervously asking me to validate his anger that shes being spiteful. I told him that he used her and shes angry he has no right to tell her how she should feel or react, hes the asshole in this situation. He starts yellimg and tells me if I'm some type of womens advocate let him know now so he can break up with me. Of course I hung up and didnt answer my phone for the next two days. I was disgusted that he felt that entitled.

So that brings us to last night. He asked to meet with me to discuss the shift in energy because lately Ive been giving him my ass to kiss, and he misses the time when I was loving and affectionate. Although I have no relation to either of these women, I used to be them. I was dragged in relationships by narcissists before too. Thats the most uneven exchange of energy Ive ever been involved in. So last night he asked what I could do to fix our relationship I said I find him to be unethical and I want him to apologize to the recent ex. He tells me that would be hard but he would do it later. I tell him leave her a voicemail now so I know that he did it. He said he knows she will answer if he calls so he doesnt want to. I didnt give him a choice. So here we are in the hallway of my apt building, and he calls his ex on speaker phone to apologize to her, I could feel the tension and anxiety thickening.

She answers the phone angrily and asks why hes calling. He gives a somewhat heartfelt apology to her and she sighs for a moment. She goes on to say I didnt expect that, and I dont accept because of what you put me through. "Now I have to tell my little brother to stop asking about you because youre not coming back and everything is a fucking lie" (he smirks) Then I tell him to ask her if theres anything he can do to fix it she says "pay me my fucking money because you dont want me talking to your little girlfriend" She then goes on to say because you were dating us the same time and having raw sex the same time. Of course I am fuming by this, I had no idea our time overlapped but fucking duhhhh what can you expect from someone like him.. So he closes by saying to her I wasnt in a relationship with you, YOU WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME" He says this laughing with confidence. So I walk away this time and go back inside, he is chasing me while hes still on the phone with her.

I'm appalled.

I woke up this morning with a knot in my stomach because I lost my person to talk to, my best friend, and lover. I know I should not want to be with him, but we were really building, and I wanted to see it work. I feel like I was playing a game, and I got close to the final level and got killed. All my work is lost, all my energy down the drain. And whats sad is in my city (New York Shitty)

There are a thousand more hims.

What should I do?

Edit: What a pathetic situation

I see that Im on pick me probation and I understand why. Im in therapy and not dating until I tighten up, thanks for the advice and reading material. I dont want to be a weak person