A very common negging technique: Men "forgetting" your name

hoIds_up_spork · 2019-11-06T19:54:04+00:00

Lol that reminds me of this guy I talked to on Tinder last year. He give me his number and I texted him. He replied with "Kim?" My name is NOT Kim. My name isn't even CLOSE to Kim. I didn't respond. He then replied with my real name, and I still didn't respond. He then reached out again and I STILL didn't respond.

Also, I was friends with my now-boyfriend at the time and sent him the exchange as a "men 🙄" thing so we could laugh about it (I didn't have feelings for him at the time) and he later told me that that's when he knew he had to make a move. He started talking to me a lot more, we went on our first official date a month later, and we became boyfriend and girlfriend a month after that.

EAT_MY_ASS_MOIDS · 2019-11-06T22:13:14+00:00

There's a lot of negging going around. I look at a few "rate me" subreddits where women post pics of themselves and then ask redditors to rate their face/body/appearance, and on a lot of them the scores are consistent. I remember seeing this one guy a bunch of times because he'd consistently rate women with a number that's substantially lower than what the other posters would rate. This one time, he rated a girl who received all 9 or 10 ratings with a "5" score, and I saw the girl respond and ask for more info. None of the other high raters received a reply from her, but the low rater did. These men have witnessed as "negging" led to them getting replies, and women's attention as a reward.

Men know what negging is. They know what they're doing and it works on so many women who then reward male negging with their attention, time, and response/reaction.

brainsandb00bs · 2019-11-06T19:20:04+00:00

I kind of like it when guys try to neg me....because I will punch a lot lower than they did. I am NOT nice to low value men.

I had someone pretend to forget my name once, and you can tell when someone legit had a brain fart or is negging so I knew what he was trying to do. I quickly changed his name in my phone to "Bald Ass Bitch" (yes, he was bald, and I could tell it was an insecurity because he tried to 'hatfish me') then responded along the lines of :

"Lol Sandra!! Thats HILARIOUS, but thats not my name! Its alright though, I honestly don't know your name either and wasnt sure how to bring that up until now hahaha i just save new guys under their most evident physical attribute! See, look!! " Then I sent him a screenshot of what I had him saved as. He was big time hurt. Did I feel bad? Fuck no.

Men are a lot more insecure about their physical appearance than we are, they get a lot less compliments than we do, they are actually easy targets for the same tactics they try to employ on women.

Edit: another response that’s firm and less mean, is just to respond with “Lol you know my fucking name. When you come at me correct we can finish this conversation where we left off. But I’ll go ahead and talk to someone with a better memory for now until yours gets going.”

Orange_Paisley · 2019-11-06T19:04:11+00:00

I give them an outlandishly fake name like "Henrietta Wigglesworth" every time. Edit: I mean when they "forget" my name. I give them my real name in good faith the first time they ask.

jewdy09 · 2019-11-07T04:40:12+00:00

I believe I this was an attempt to neg me. I couldn’t understand why a man pursuing a woman would say something like that. And I’ve shut him down a few times now after he attempted to change our coffee meeting to an outdoor event locale that is deserted in the summer at the last minute. Of course I want to meet you in the woods where no one will find my dismembered body! I’ve since blocked him.

(I thought about my terminology before I sent my response and came to the conclusion that it was appropriate to use because it’s an apt insult for him, but not one for someone with a learning or developmental disability.)

bestladee · 2019-11-07T17:21:35+00:00

My friends and I talk about this ALL the time! So many guys do this, it must be in the red pill rule book.

A guy I went to college with, have mutual friends with, or even met before at another location or on an app will come up and talk to me and pretend to have no idea who I am. I often will just be like “We’ve met before. At ________. Where you also tried to hit on me. So I must’ve been somewhat memorable.” They’re usually embarrassed after that and will admit to knowing my name. If they still pretend to not I just walk away.

Lame.

VeganRatGod · 2019-11-07T02:10:04+00:00

I would just think his dumb ass can't read

Title	A very common negging technique: Men "forgetting" your name
Author	Celestine87
Upvotes	50
Comments	19
Date	November 6, 2019 6:52 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dskqq7/a_very_common_negging_technique_men_forgetting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-very-common-negging-technique-men-forgetting.688792 https://theredarchive.com/post/688792

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