I’m just gonna be totally blunt, no other way to go about this. I stupidly, stupidly fell for the “you need to have fun in college and have a hoe experience!” mantra and hooked up with this sexy as hell fuckboy. Yes, I knew he was a fuckboy. He was probably the biggest fuckboy that ever did fuckboy. I didn’t care- I saw it as the perfect “college experience” because there was NO way it could last. Plus, I wasn’t dumb enough to fall for an obvious fuckboy! Not me, a wholesome girl who’d only ever been with one boy (a 6-year boyfriend)!

... You already know where this is going so I ain’t even going into those details. Anyway, he turned out to be more than just a fboi- he was crazy as hell. In my rose-colored stupor (or misplaced pride) I attributed his issues to his horrifying upbringing he “opened up” to me about. We went through an almost comical back-and-forth. No matter how much I wanted (or thought I wanted) to leave him alone, I just couldn’t. I became addicted to the novelty, highs, lows, and honestly incredible sex. We were involved for a year.

I’m happy to say that I haven’t seen him in 2 years and spoken to him in 1. He still attempts to contact me. I can proudly say that I’m content with him not being in my life. The only problem is that I can’t really move on. To this day I haven’t been with any other guy. I actually see my ex pretty often (as friends) and have NO desire to be physical with him. I’ve finally come to the point where I’m able to feel attraction for others but I feel so damn damaged that my first urge is to push them away.

I’m in this weird space where I want to date (and date RIGHT) but I have a block from him. If I’m not too far gone, please help a sister out.