Good evening, I hope you are well.

I started dating someone who I really liked. It was intended to be a D/s (bdsm dynamic) relationship but we took it slow in the sense that he was cautious about my bad experiences. Though as I type this, I realise sex on the second date isn't slow. I thought we got along, this was before I really understood what it is to be a rpw, but it reflected that.

Anyway, he was an alpha and a gentleman. The only real red flag is that his political views were not particularly pleasant, with a not so nice view of certain groups and people in society. He was in the military too and had a good role. When we first started speaking, we were on the phone for 7 hours. When we met I was very ladylike, in the sense of my demeanour and looks. He was very gentlemanly, in the sense that he opened the car door for me and constantly made sure that I felt safe around him.

He broke up with me because I didn't send him a follow up message after an argument at hope. For him it was his limit after 2 previous similar incidents of being negative about myself and dropping hints about wanting flowers, which he saw as a form of bad communication.

After I sent the negative message at night, in the morning I woke up to him being irritated and saying he couldn't do it anymore with me speaking in half-messages and riddles, that he would call me the following morning. He didn't. I kept pestering him about whether the phone call would be a break-up one and whether I could ask questions. I phrased it in a weird way and he blocked me.

I've sent emails since and left voice messages, explaining that I'm trying to now improve my communication skills and become less emotionally detached.

I guess my intention in posting this is asking whether there are more alphas out there. I'm so upset to have let him go, to have caused him to leave. It has really hit me and I wish it hadn't.