how to interact with old oneitis without coming off as butthurt

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spider_1337
July 2, 2020
70 upvotes
askTRP

I basically bumped into my an old oneitis at the gym (i last talked to her 3yrs ago) and although my smv has improved since the last interaction she probably still sees me as beta since thats essentialy what i was. She walked up to me and said hi and ended in her asking for my number. Im not going to say i wouldn't smash because i would, however i rather not have a repeat of last time. Is there a way to just "brush her off" without coming up as butthurt? I honestly thought about letting her know i didn't want any friends atm when she asked for my number but i thought it sounded weak af so i kind of just reluctantly gave her my number. If it comes to it i might just say "tits or gtfo" lol


Post Information
Title how to interact with old oneitis without coming off as butthurt
Author spider_1337
Upvotes 70
Comments 39
Date 02 July 2020 01:51 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/703448
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/hjo3pj/how_to_interact_with_old_oneitis_without_coming/
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butthurtbetasexual market value
Comments

[–]comcain100 points101 points  (10 children) | Copy

If you're in a different place psychologically in yourself, you might swing it. It sounds like you have a ways to go, though, honestly.

If she makes orbiter noises, ghost her. But if she's up for Wine and Netflix, give her a chance. She does sound interested. Now, decide: are you interested? Can you maintain frame for the incoming airstrike napalming of shit tests as she find out if you've truly changed?

Good luck, brother.

Cheers

[–]sherlock9823 points24 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lmao "Orbiter noises" Expatiate further

[–]babybopp21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy

“You wanna meet up for drinks?”

“Sure thing, when?”

“ how about Saturday? You can meet up with me and this guy that I am kinda interested in.. do you want to pick me up then we can meet him when he shows up five hours late as he works this amazing job? Maybe you can buy the drinks as well as we catch up”

[–]spider_1337[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok i was beta with her then but not this level lol. I definitely would not simp that low ._.

[–]spider_1337[S] 8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

It's been a while like 3yrs going to 4yrs to be exact but yeah i do admit I don't know how exactly i will react in the heat of things. The possibility of fucking up is real lol and i just wonder if the juice is worth the squeeze. Life is chill rn and i don't want to add unnecessary drama

[–]courtesy_flush_plz15 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy

you could still fuck up a totally different, random broad tho.

so I guess I don't get why you're hesitating because of the past history, especially when she offered you her number.

man if my old oneitis gave me her number, I'd really, I mean really enjoy tryna make her taller from the pounding I'd give her

[–]spider_1337[S] 6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Probably just me being subconsciously spiteful i guess. Me ego rationalizes that she didn't want me at a point in time when my smv was lower and now that its higher she can go fuck herself. Its retarded tho because its free poon lol. One point that also comes up is rollo tomassi rule #7

[–]catsdontsmile2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You could fuck literally any other girl and not have to go through this fucking dance. Just don't initiate talks and don't follow up

[–]courtesy_flush_plz-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I do get the #7 part, but if it's on the table for you it really can't hurt you, especially with the permanent boost to your ego that's in store if you finished that business up

Also, the spiteful part does seem to me to sound kinda immature bro, not to sound like a dick like alotta guys on here are for no reason .. I mean if you were lower SMV you can't blame her, same as I feel for my old oneitis.

If you're higher SMV & she picked up on that, it seems silly to me to put an X on the whole damn thing just because Rollo's general rule said no.

For instance, rule #2 sounds like it shouldn't really apply if you've been with 50+ women. I recently had a partner say she's only been with 11 guys (including me) & 5 women, & I know her enough to believe her, so I didn't have a problem telling her I've been with a little over 50 women. She said she liked that I've been with that many / more than her. I feel like if I'd only been with a dozen or so, she'd probably have seen me in a weaker light, & if I had been with 100+, she woulda seen me as more high value.

I get that the last sentence up there ☝🏼 may sound self explanatory for implementing rule #2 itself, but unless you're way alpha, they're not gonna assume 100+ ..

All his other rules I'm definitely on board with tho ..

[–]spider_1337[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

oh yeah i agree with you its def childish to be spiteful. My brain can reason and come to that conclusion thankfully haha. I originally ghosted her years ago because i deemed my "relationship" to her a dead end. I was partially inspired by rollos #7 rule actually. As far as rule 2 goes i believe Rollo says this because getting her hamster to spin into overdrive might backfire in certain instances. Say she gets mad at you for a dumb reason and outta spite decides to play the field and rationalizes that you did as well at point so should she.

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she texts you to hangout, and you want to move on without looking butthurt.

"Listen it was great catching up, but I am just way to busy these days

Wish you all the best"

I think this would show that you're indifferent, but also that you have an awesome life.

If you want to fuck tread carefully and the second she plays games. Dip.

Personally I'd rather move on.

[–]spider_1337[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a good response actually. Maybe I'll use the coronavirus as an excuse too! lmao

[–]alfred31112 points13 points  (6 children) | Copy

Being butthurt is a state of mind, lot of people here said dont block your ex, reply to your ex if she text you, talk to your ex, be happy with your ex or else you will look butthurt. I say do whatever you want, i honestly dont care what my ex think. Ill only fuck my ex if she comes crawling back aside from that no fucking way. Why do you want to fuck your ex where you can fuck a brand new chick, no abundance perhaps? Move on and forget about her.

Next time you see her ignore her, in 48 laws of power it says that the greatest revenge is to ignore her. Think of her as she is already dead and doesnt exists anymore. You dont need to tell her that you are alpha and how awesome you are right now.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I haven't read it I'm a while. So you off the top of your head know which chapter this is?

[–]alfred3112 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Law 36

[–]DENNISCORNELIUS1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree completely. Even though some girls i have slept with, long time after, tried to ignore me so hard by crossing the street or directly walking on the highway, just to being receptive to conversation/filtring soon after i talked to them hahaha. I would respect more if they just hated at me and ignored me completely by passing in front without any hesitation. But i guess they were caring more of what other people think about.

[–]teka70 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

agreed 100%

I basically see one of my former ex every day at work (had something before i worked here) and i basically ghost her irl. I couldnt care less if she thinks im butthurt.

A lot of people here talk about keeping frame , dgaf attitude etc while also talking about avoiding looking like youre butthurt....get your shit together ppl.

Do what you think is right.

[–]alfred3111 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Correct! Lot of people here dont wanna look butthurt, they compose messages, act cool, mince words so they could act alpha while the easiest route is just to ignore, block, delete someone in your life. Act like they dont exist anymore. Whatever we do our ex/oneitis will still remember how we worship their pussy, how we blow up their phone, beg and cry just to get them back. It does not matter how ripped or alpha we are right now. Just move on, its not worth it getting them back or fooling yourself that you just want to have sex or plate them.

As Rollo said, better spend your time to a new girl than digging an old trash, your neighbor, family and friends will see you and its not a good picture of who you are or what you become.

[–]teka71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Correct! Lot of people here dont wanna look butthurt, they compose messages, act cool, mince words so they could act alpha

agreed. what happens is youre in someones frame... but not your own

[–]glowing_dolphins5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Genuinely, seduce her. Wine, old stories, look how far we’ve come, standard game.

If it works, and it 100% will, absolute craic, major headfuck, daemons excised.

If it doesn’t, then you’re not looking for friends. Sorry for the misunderstanding. It was great catching up. Bye. Don’t orbit.

Remember LMR. There may be some. Keep frame.

It will probably not be as good as you expect physically, but it’ll be a fun tick box.

Remember to fuck her. You’re not there to beta about. Get into it. Have fun.

[–]spider_1337[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is good advice. The crazy thing is that i legit have fucked girls following this formula but when it comes to old oneitis i seem to fuck myself in the head somehow

[–]alex_de_tampa3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just wait for her to text you first. Set a date for later in the week. On text her in regards to the meeting. No chit chat. If she’s reluctant to have drinks.dont respond for atleast a month.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's going to be hard at first. It may even take years of raising your SMV and realizing abundance before you can truly be indifferent to your old oneitis.

It took me probably 3 years before I was able to truly be utterly indifferent when I saw my old oneitis.

[–]spider_1337[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah i get it man. I was going to ignore first but saw her checking me out while shoulder pressing. I thought she was someone else because she was at a distance (and my eyesight sucks) but when she got closer and started conversation with me i was like damnn girl you look good lol

[–]Smuggler-Tuek1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The fact that you are concerned at all with how she perceives you says you are firmly still in her frame. Run away from this at all costs. You aren’t mentally resilient enough.

[–]kriskros182 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

...that’s 3 years she’s been riding the CC.

Is this notch really worth the price?

[–]Glennus6263 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Came here to say this. 4 years later and suddenly she shows some interest? That's a good chunk of her 20s. She is ready to hop off the cc and get her hooks into him for a baby and a ring.

[–]spider_1337[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you really think she wants me as BB? I mean yeah i was beta af when i last interacted with her (i can see that now) but her bumping into me was totally random.

[–]Wants permission to daternsbrum0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Shit. The correct approach would be to just let her come for you, make her thirsty or indifferent. But, as I know myself, and I know that you will probably be the same, you will fall for a trap and if you are not careful, go back to those days filled with dread and depression that a oneitis gives you.

I'd say to myself to stay away, because oneitis is like an injury, it slowly gets into your life and then puts you off track for SEVERAL months, but I know that I would ignore whatever the fuck I am saying to myself, because I AM the champion, and I will get everything that I want.

[–]spider_1337[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This was roughly 3 years ago when she had me in that place and i do consider myself to be different then back then but still not gonna lie and sometimes wonder if the risk if her putting me in that state of mind is real enough to make me avoid her for my sake

[–]Wants permission to daternsbrum0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It is real. I was walking around like "I AM OVER MY ONEITIS" and then monday I was coming back from the gym and all of the sudden a buddy of mine and a girl hit me up when I'm almost home. He said hi to me, but I just glanced at the girl and thought she was my oneitis, it made sense. I straight up ignored her, greeted my friend and continued right the fuck on. I decided to not look back to see if it really was her, because if it was, it would put me into rage mode instantly. Still, it got to my mind and I had to have a couple of drinks that night to calm me down. This shit is intense, especially when ur on steroids.

[–]huey7640 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The question is not how do I not come off as butthurt.

The question is how do I avoid being butthurt?

This, my friend, I cannot answer for you. You must fulfill yourself and find that answer by yourself.

Ultimately, the choice is yours. Do what you want. Just no beta shit tho.

[–]NiceSetupYeahNice0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You sound like a female playing games when you say "brush it off". Why? Why act like you feel one way and do another.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would ask her out again, if you want to. If she says no, make it clear you don't want to be friends.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

her asking for my number.

"Here's my snap".

[–]Bungeeeeee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you truly changed like you are saying, you would fuck without much thinking and wouldn't write this post, or you wouldn't because you are fucking other plates and don't have time, but might give her a chance if she is persistent. If you are not plating, get on it, or you might develop oneitis for her again.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Expose yourself to other situations and adventures with women then it won’t bother you. It’s great when you bump into past ones that let themselves go or are now hitched to some fatass numale.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]spider_1337[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

by giving her my number?



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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