You should never "NEED" a romantic partner, or allow yourself to be "NEEDED" by a romantic partner. "WANT" should be enough!

Wkndwhorechata · 2020-07-19T21:18:42+00:00

I will always recall my first love 10 years ago. I told him what I thought was the most romantic thing I or anyone else could ever say to another, "I love you. Not because I need you, because I want you and want to be with you".

It did not go over well.

talldrankofH2O · 2020-07-19T21:52:23+00:00

Yes!! I had a conversation like this with a (college) classmate I wasn’t particular fond of. She was like “if you don’t want to cook and clean for a man, how are you going to get a husband?”

I said “I don’t need to take care of a man like a child & my worth is not in a man.” Keep in mind this classmate had moved in with NVM and ~loved~ his abusive crap.

berned-out · 2020-07-20T01:57:43+00:00

i'd like to point out that it was just about 4-5 decades ago ONLY that women gained rights across the US to have their own bank accounts and sign contracts, buy cars, rent homes, etcetera, without a man co-signer directly related to the woman (husband, father, brother). this is where a lot of the "gotta get a man" comes from, imo. we still do not have full rights, obvs. but it was worse then, and believe you me, there's strong forces who'd love to return and THEN SOME to those days.

thaiteabbys · 2020-07-20T03:21:25+00:00

Very true. I agree wholeheartedly. I told my mom I probably wasn’t going to get married (I’m pretty young but I really don’t see myself getting married, finding a HVM, or wanting a man). She said to me “who’s going to take care of you when you’re older?”. I don’t know , MYSELF ??! I’ll have my cute dogs and cats by my side. Or my adopted children with grandchildren to visit me. Or go travel or fill up my time with plenty of other activities. I just don’t know if I have any hope for men. My father set a terrible example. I’m good by myself.

kaoutanu · 2020-07-19T23:57:53+00:00

This is great advice regardless of gender. Need implies a level of entitlement.

If you get to the point you "need" someone (or anyone) you're setting yourself up for a world of hurt. Best case, enmeshment and codependence.

As a bonus, independent, confident people are way sexier.

guavamom · 2020-07-19T22:23:06+00:00

How do you stop feeling attached when you’re trying get out of being in too deep?

Title	You should never "NEED" a romantic partner, or allow yourself to be "NEEDED" by a romantic partner. "WANT" should be enough!
Author	artemisdonna
Upvotes	421
Comments	21
Date	July 19, 2020 8:06 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hu73tx/you_should_never_need_a_romantic_partner_or_allow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/you-should-never-need-a-romantic-partner-or-allow.716703 https://theredarchive.com/post/716703

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