Hi Ladies,

Probably unnecessary, but I wanted some feedback on comments/actions a recent NVM ex (37) made towards me (27F) throughout the relationship. I can laugh now, but at the time it was not funny, and I can't rationalize why someone would act that way. It just really helps me to get some reassurance from this sub that I was not the problem.

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  1. Told me he felt very connected to me at the beginning of our relationship, but "lost feelings" once I started getting "worried" (aka asking) about where the relationship was going.
  2. Asked me over dinner if I lived in Low Income Housing (Posted this before, but WTF!).
  3. Took me out to dinner and claimed he "didn't have enough credit" to pay.
  4. Told me he was in over 30,000 worth of credit card debt, and 200,000 in business debt (He was a small business owner)
  5. Didn't want to hang out more than about once or twice a week.
    1. I don't want to be naive, but i truly don't think this was because he was seeing other women. He was probably trying to, but he's not a great looking guy and I doubt he would be wildly successful at it.
  6. Offered to make us dinner after about 2 months. He calls me 15 min before he is supposed to come over, asks me what I'm doing (I'm making the dinner) says he "doesn't feel well" but is driving and abruptly hangs up. I call him twice and get no response (somewhat worried at this point). He ends up saying he stopped to use the bathroom and ends up coming over, but I have already tossed the dinner since I did not hear back from him quick enough (30-ish minutes). I ask what the hell happened, he told me he was stressed because of some "health issues he didn't want to talk to me about" then proceeds to shame me for being concerned about why he behaved that way.
  7. Unable to have a legitimate conversation over text (even in the early stages, when he should have been putting his best self forward).
  8. I occasionally take Lorazepam for anxiety, and he would always make negative comments about that and insinuate I had a pill problem (spoiler- I don't).
  9. Dumped me for the first time right after I met his family.
  10. Discussed many times how he "doesn't have much time" to find someone to "spend the rest of his life with" and how he needs to take his time making such an important decision.
  11. After reconciling, invited me to meet some of his friends from out of town. I go to the house they are at and:
  12. He comes out once I park, says "you can park there" and leaves the front door open, and sits down on the couch, leaving me to walk into a strangers house alone and introduce myself to everyone.
  13. I will say his friends were very nice and engaging, and after asking me some "getting to know you" questions about myself, work, school, NVM says "I thought you were just a receptionist?"
  14. After having a few drinks, I casually mention to his friends girlfriends that I appreciate how kind they have been to me, and that I was embarrassed that I came because NVM ex ignored me the majority of the time.
    1. They then proceeded to tell me how they really liked me, I had a lot going to for me, was attractive, intelligent, nice... and that NVM was not.
  15. NVM dumped me again the next morning claiming I "embarrassed the shit out of him" by "whining about how (he) doesn't like me and is sooooo mean to (me)". Also calls me an "immature whiner" and says that this was a "very clear turning point". I am very good at reading situations and generally well liked, I don't think any of the people I met thought I was being inappropriate, but I go no contact and have been successful at that since.

It sounds so awful but I just can't help but think I really was the problem, and he truly is ready for marriage and kids and I just was not good enough and didn't make the cut.