Love-bombing— ladies, if you have not heard of it— do some reading on it. If your gut feeling is wrong, trust it. Excessive affection, adoration, and needs for commitment right off the get-go is a red flag.

AvaAngora · 2020-08-08T09:30:26+00:00

This is 100% accurate. All of these things happened to me in my last relationship that turned out to be emotionally / physically abusive. Pay attention to red flags!!!

SayNad · 2020-08-08T20:59:35+00:00

To add to this:

If their affection is all one-sided and it is never about your long-term benefit, only short-term what "he wants to do for you".
You feel overwhelmed by all the "affections" and have no time to sit back, think, and process everything. Love bombers don't like it when you want to take it slow and reflect.
You don't feel calm and relaxed - you just feel overwhelmed and like racing towards something.
Pay attention very closely to their "love language" - they are often very loud, showy, extravagant, too much "wow" factors, full of showy words and showy actions - they need to know that you see all the things they do for you.
Too much compliments and yet all very shallow. They didn't take the time to know you deep down and observe your strengths, they just throw in the generic compliment they know all women love - often about looks, clothing, style, generic "you're so kind/helpful/charming etc."
Also, their compliments are designed to inflate your ego and make you feel above every other women. There's a lot of "You are so different from any other women I've met before" or "You are special, unlike the girls I know". Basically if he starts comparing you with other girls/people and trying to pit you against them, it doesn't come from a good place.
They really hate it when you want to be left alone and will continue to harass you until you give them attention.
They don't respect your boundaries and keep trying to charm their way in with excessive compliments and gifts.
Suddenly, there are no longer "you" and "me". It is all "us" now.

I do think people who are introverts and absolutely need time alone despite currently in the vetting phase have easier time spotting the love-bombing - because it gets annoying real fast. I view those excessive attention as "this guy have no concept of personal space and don't give a shit about what I want/need, it is allllll about what he wants". I get angry from too much attention that I didn't ask for.

Ladies who have codependency issue, lacked attention and love growing up, just left an abusive relationship etc. will be more vulnerable - because you go from 0 attention to all the attention you only could dream before.

So it is best for you ladies stay off dating until you can train yourself to need alone time and want to take everything slow and careful.

Tell-Me-Whyy · 2020-08-08T17:48:43+00:00

Love bombing is scary because done well, it doesn't feel bad for the victim, it makes you feel good about yourself. Done poorly you feel uncomfortable or creeped out. But either way you can find yourself sucked into a narcissist relationship you really didn't want. I wish I had found out about it 10 months later. It's really good to spread the awareness about manipulation tactics such as this to women.

VioletRomantic · 2020-08-08T15:23:05+00:00

I really wish someone had explained this to me when I was younger. Coming from a home where my oarents clearly didn't love me, my affection starved ass ate all of this up for years. It never ends well.. We really, really, REALLY need to teach young women about how dangerous love bombing can be. It's a really effective tool abusers will use to lure and trap vulnerable women into abusive relationships.

MakeURegret · 2020-08-08T13:22:09+00:00

Huh never thought about 6. Will keep that in the back of my mind now. Thanks for sharing!

suspended_animation_ · 2020-08-08T17:15:36+00:00

Lesson traumatically learned.....

voodo2020 · 2020-08-08T09:04:42+00:00

Oh god this is all I want from a new relationship except for 5 6 7 10 11

munissa · 2020-08-08T18:58:07+00:00

Omg I went on a date with a guy who tried to pull this shit. I ran away so fast. The amount of red flags I saw on 1 date was enough. This was before fds and I just started to date again after a toxic 3 year relationship.

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