How do you find the state of modern dating and "hookup culture"

wolf_town · 2020-08-04T02:37:35+00:00

The only women I’ve met who are “into“ hookups all had one thing in common: low self esteem.

__kamikaze__ · 2020-08-04T00:10:18+00:00

I’m not sure tbh.

I’d hope it peaked and we’re moving towards a healthier culture, however every time I log on Reddit there’s some ridiculous post like “i cAnT sTOp hAviNg sEx oN tHe fIrSt dAtE” that gets a million upvotes and people justifying the behavior. Ideally FDS starts a movement to stop this sort of shit.

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-08-03T22:18:02+00:00

Liberal feminism has undermined modern dating. We are now socialized into choosing to be the commitment-phobic cool girls men benefit most from us being. We have been brainwashed to feel shame for having self-serving, healthy standards, boundaries and attachments, because they threaten the ability of the burgeoning population of LVM to pass on their inferior genes.

hhgjj0 · 2020-08-03T23:39:32+00:00

I feel like girls (women) were always more relationship oriented. I have honestly never met anyone who was into hookups (then again, I don't have that many friends).

As for people going out of their way to complain about hook up culture, I consider it a red flag now. My ex would always complain about hookup culture, go out of his way to announce how "cheating is disgusting" (don't most people think that?), complain about break ups and divorce rates and the state of "modern society" in general. Turned out he was super immature, jealous, controlling, vindictive; he tried to trap me and expected me to be a trad wife basically.

So, I'm not a fan of the hookup culture, but I also don't feel the need to complain about it. I simply don't participate.

balleballe111111 · 2020-08-04T02:21:55+00:00

Personally I still see a lot of this on the internet. It was one of the reasons I was so happy to find this sub. I was actually starting to believe I was just old fashioned for not wanting to participate. Finally I thought, a bulwark of reason to shelter women from this madness. It really does only serve men. I particularly hate the phrase "catching feelings" as if having feelings were a disease.

eveninghope · 2020-08-03T22:46:37+00:00

I used to be a pro-hook up lib fem. I agree that the pro hook up media push piqued when I was in college/recent grad (I'm mid-30s now). I'm honestly pleasantly surprised that young women these days feel empowered enough to say no to sex. When I think about it, the more empowered I feel the less, but better sex I have. It took a long time to realize that I wasn't hooking up with guys because *I* wanted to but bc I felt this weird social pressure to be lIbErAtEd.

It sort of tracks with the general shift of 3rd wave feminism. In the 90s/early 00s being a "feminist" meant acting/socializing/dating "like a man," but now that women are genuinely more empowered, we can be women and still be respected and not have to emulate masculinity.

MakeURegret · 2020-08-03T23:40:05+00:00

I agree. I think it’s because the Internet really helps with this. Communities like this can be your lifeline when you’re surrounded by pickmes.

Media content used to solely come from top-down. Now anyone can generate it.

FewButterscotch6 · 2020-08-04T05:14:44+00:00

I think it's still being heavily oversold by the media but fewer people are buying it these days. These back-to-back crises make escapist, hedonistic, first world nonsense a harder sell.

redfarmmmmm · 2020-08-04T13:07:05+00:00

Personally thats one of the things that shocked me when i moved to the states. Its not about having sex but its about the risk that comes with it. Sex diseases and what if the guy is a criminal?

If you notice it lot of serial criminals find their victims through online apps or websites.

I always wondered how people can have sex so easily.

I’m east asian and for this very reason (hookup culture partly) is that when korean guys think of western girls they label them as promiscuous and easy. But i heard its the same with asian girls in the states.

But literally none of my friends who have good jobs with good educations coming from good family background( no single mom brought homes or daddy issues) have done hookups nor do they meet guys online.

I use tinder but realized its always the guys who got out of relationship or guys who have serial issues.

KeyRx0525 · 2020-08-04T01:25:54+00:00

I don't know. I'm in college (graduate/professional school) and I think hook up culture is still very very prominent and it keeps me from dating because I'm not about that life. I know less women who about themselves than women who are pick-me-esque. Obviously I think college is a whole different ballpark from the "real world" post-college but it definitely forms people's outlooks with relationships post-college. So I wish it'd change at this age range too.

Title	How do you find the state of modern dating and "hookup culture"
Author	cf-date
Upvotes	40
Comments	14
Date	August 3, 2020 8:38 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i352u1/how_do_you_find_the_state_of_modern_dating_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-you-find-the-state-of-modern-dating-and.722970 https://theredarchive.com/post/722970

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