Maybe it is you, sweaty pie. You're the only common denominator in all of this.

loneliness-inc · 2020-11-23T04:02:35+00:00

Dear white knights,

Being a widow doesn't give her a pass for life.

Granted, her husband's death wasn't her fault. However, her lack of success in subsequently finding a suitable match is no different than any other woman.

She's being featured here because she fits our theme. Her impossible standards while offering little to no value to a prospective man, is the reason she's still single.

Her friends are wrong. It isn't the men who are the problem here. It's her. She's the common denominator in all these situationships. Whatever isn't working, is because of her.

Don't allow your white knight instinct to jump in and defend m'lady just because she's a widow. Being a widow doesn't absolve her of responsibility for the rest of her life.

Cheers!

PunkOverLord · 2020-11-23T04:10:17+00:00

Lol if you’re 300lbs and you lose 50 of them... congrats you’re still fat.

If you’re 275lbs and you lose 50 of them... congrats you’re still fat.

If you’re 250lbs and you lose 50 of them... congrats you’re still fat.

Men are only using you as a slam piece? Well no guy wants to show off all this overpacked baggage. They just want a quick nut and clearly are too ashamed to keep you around. Life is simple sometimes.

Mundane_Worldliness7 · 2020-11-23T14:25:10+00:00

Therapy can do more harm than good. Many of the new therapists are woke feminists and can’t get past their bias 2. I’d suppose her friends are more attractive than her, if so, they are likely ill suited to give dating advice. Attractive women, despite their views to the contrary, are acted upon in the mating market. They might tell her to “put yourself out there” or to “be yourself” but such tactics only work for attractive women.

Tsnacker77 · 2020-11-23T04:09:48+00:00

Her attitude is the problem. She's depressed. I'm positive if she lost 50-75 lbs (not sure how fat she is) she would have more opportunities, and her suggesting she didnt see a diff in that first 50lbs weight loss is a myth, unless she is just obese and 50lbs is nothing to a whale.

Her whole depressing outlook is oozing into her relations with men. On a subconscious level i guess she thinks they'll die and she pushes herself away to not go through those emotions of losing someone again. I would suggest that a woman like this is heavily damaged emotionally and doesnt feel deserving of love. She may be a decent person, but I would stay very far away. Any widowed woman for that matter - stay far far away.

Martellus732 · 2020-11-23T04:50:26+00:00

She's 36 and doesn't want kids but a LTR...good luck. Also sounds like she's pushing "woe is me, I'm a widow" victimhood a bit too much.

0mrcynic0 · 2020-11-23T04:41:02+00:00

I don't feel unlovable because I do like myself. Blah blah blah...

Then why are you looking for a man if you have everything a feminist wants? You are already the envy of feminists in the first place for having a career & friends without a man.

My therapist and friends...

If your therapist or your friends really care about you, they will speak the truth instead of fawning you with validation.

I pretty much refuse to settle for less.

Good luck competing with the young ladies who are more fertile and younger than you because your ideal man will fall for those instead.

The alternative is accepting being alone forever. My life...

*snore\*

And why do you have to rate your experience with the death of your husband in the first place? You're not a Yelper / foodie. That's like posing for the camera with a wacky face beside your grandma's open casket.

dasanman69 · 2020-11-23T14:23:56+00:00

2 "I don't feel unloveable", is she trying convince the reader or herself?

tosernameschescksout · 2020-11-23T14:50:13+00:00

She's hit the wall, it's generally as simple as that. I'm sure it's hard as fuck to find a man after 30. I'm 40 and I recently played around with some dating apps in the last few weeks. I choose 'nope' rather than 'like' nine times out of ten. Most girls in my age group just lost their looks and that is that. Ain't nothing can fix ugly.

Aldabruzzo · 2020-11-23T14:52:27+00:00

To second u/loneliness-inc:

A widow is still a woman. AWALT: Hypergamy, and running their thoughts through their feelings. Widows don't get free passes when they go back into dating.

She's been a widow since she was 31. She's had no time for a man - she's been in grad school and traveling. Or "traveling". She's currrently 50 lbs overweight.

She's gained "life experience" (Translation: She's done some drugs, had more than a little casual sex, and been through loads of ineffective "therapy").

During her "month long situationships" she had casual sex. She has "lots going on" (translation: No time for real relationships, no time to get serious about actually finding someone). She has a "fun personality" (translation: Snarky, bitchy, condescending, offputting).

She cant attract men while thinner. That means too bitchy, too crazy, too slutty, too busy.

I knew she had a therapist.

She wants a life partner but isn't willing to do what it will take to get and keep a life partner: Be nice, be pretty, don't get fat, be available.

She thinks that her graduate degree, traveling, and "life experience" (doing drugs, getting drunk, doing some partying, having some casual sex, and getting therapy) make her attractive for relationships.

Dear, the problem is not that you're a widow. The problems are:

1) You're overweight.

2) You don't have time for a serious relationship.

3) You don't want to make the time for a serious relationship.

4) You're overweight.

5) Your standards are too high.

6) You don't understand what makes you attractive or unattractive to men. You don't understand what men want in a long term partner.

7) You're overweight.

Your therapist and friends are being "nice" to you and not telling you the truth. You are driving men away. I'm not sure what exactly is driving them away, but you are driving them away. If you were attractive, had things to offer, and were available, men would be beating your door down and lined up outside your house and around the block.

You can fix at least 50% of this problem by Losing. The. Damn. Weight. and keeping it off.

It's not them; it's you.

Norman_T_Chadlite · 2020-11-23T04:20:22+00:00

Literal alpha widow.

Redhood616 · 2020-11-23T17:07:38+00:00

“I started dating a little less than a year after he died”

Jesus fk couldn’t even wait for the body to start decomposing before hopping back on the CC.

Can guarantee it was less than 6mths. 3-4mths to keep up the act of being devastated and then the 5th month onwards, tasting all the various chad flavours on tinder (no doubt encouraged by her equally trashy friends).

After years of “casually dating” aka sleeping with every dude that remotely looks like a celebrity, she’s now on the hunt for a new provider cause she spent all the life insurance payout she got on some degree & these expenses won’t pay for themselves.

warlocc_ · 2020-11-23T18:36:12+00:00

I would have given her a pass because of the widow thing, until I saw it.

"I pretty much refuse to settle for less."

She's overweight and older, still expecting to get a hot rich guy. Big oof.

Scourmont · 2020-11-23T19:42:43+00:00

Something tells me her husband killed himself, call it intuition if you will. The 0/5 rating gives you a huge window with which to see her personality, ie shes a flaming cunty bitch. There you go sweetheart I identified the problem for you, are you going to do anything about it? Besides blaming men? Nope, then I'm done here.

John_Wick_Detroit · 2020-11-23T14:32:43+00:00

That's where 'Rona came from.

stallman65 · 2020-11-25T01:47:41+00:00

Being a widow is in no way germane to the post. This is only mentioned to deflect any potential criticism. Nobody wants to be seen "picking on" a widow.

_name-not-important · 2020-11-27T01:57:48+00:00

36 isn't young
Never seen a person rate or review death of a loved one

thisisnotyourconcern · 2020-11-23T05:09:44+00:00

[deleted]

AncientMGTOWWISDOM · 2020-11-23T05:50:08+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Maybe it is you, sweaty pie. You're the only common denominator in all of this.
Author	loneliness-inc
Upvotes	54
Comments	38
Date	November 23, 2020 3:56 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/jzacsm/maybe_it_is_you_sweaty_pie_youre_the_only_common/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/maybe-it-is-you-sweaty-pie-youre-the-only-common.726861 https://theredarchive.com/post/726861

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