I don't know where to go. Or who to talk to. My self esteem and confidence are on all time low 💔 please help a sis 🥺

buttercup_010 · 2020-10-27T20:02:30+00:00

This is when you fight for yourself sis!

Solaresa · 2020-10-27T20:22:38+00:00

It's time to fight for yourself and for the woman you want to be.

What does your goal self look like? What does she do? Is she into gardening, martial arts, writing?
What are core values? Integrity, trust, empathy, honesty?
How would she speak to you in this moment? Would she be calm, kind, motherly? Determined, supportive, confident?

Let yourself grieve. Work through your sadness. When you are ready, start making some lists of things you want to do for yourself, things that will help you achieve your goals. That's how you fight for yourself.

Much love. 💖

CuriousBubbleMilkTea · 2020-10-27T20:07:28+00:00

[deleted]

FabledAngryVillager · 2020-10-27T20:38:48+00:00

I have felt this way my entire life, even the good relationships. Just know you're not alone.

gothoneybones · 2020-10-27T23:24:52+00:00

The fact that you're reaching out for support somewhere that you know is a safe space already shows you're fighting for yourself! Reaching out when you feel down takes courage and strength!

Give yourself a hug. You've got you. & it's okay to focus on resting and recovering sometimes when life gets to be too much.

margitaolympia · 2020-10-27T20:53:58+00:00

I hope it goes well and you can always talk to us in the chat sis ❣️good luck

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-10-28T00:06:24+00:00

Life shouldn’t be a constant fight, that took me a really long time to learn. The only thing you should always fight for is yourself, and if you’re having to battle other people to defend yourself those are people you should cut out of your life. Look at what you want in life, both short and long term goals. Pick some easy things, some things you can check off to get some momentum going, along with some harder goals, things that will really help you be the you you want to be. Time invested in yourself is care and love invested in yourself.

If you don’t think you deserve these things, ask yourself why. What negative, untrue beliefs do you hold that are stopping you from thinking you deserve these things? Maybe you had a parent that was abusive, or an ex that denigrated your self worth. Now start telling yourself the opposite, that you do deserve these things, and there’s no reason you can’t work to get them. One thing that’s helped me with this is to visualize myself as an entirely separate person who I am friends with. Sad to say in the beginning I didn’t view myself as a friend, and I was way harder on myself than I ever would have been to my best friend. Now, if I find myself being harsh, I ask myself “what would I say to my bestie if she were in this situation”, and my responses have gotten kinder, more supportive and more understanding. As I repeat this, it gets easier to both give to myself and to believe.

Focus on YOU. Direct your energy, thoughts, intention and actions back towards YOU. A lot of times we invest in relationships because we feel we get something from them that we don’t get alone. But most men aren’t capable of any kind of real love so we give and give and get nothing back. But if you believe in yourself, and you love yourself then there’s nothing that another person can give you that you don’t already have internally. But that’s REALLY HARD when we don’t grow up in an environment that fosters that, it’s taken me 15 years to get to place where I’m even marginally good at it. So take whatever energy and love and creativity you used to give to men in the hopes that it would change them into decent people and give yourself that. Once you start, it’s impossible to stop, and you can’t help but only allow people into your life with the same good intentions and care for you. Anything else becomes unacceptable. You can do this, you can. I know it probably feels exhausting right now. I’ve so been there. But it can get better, and you have that power ❤️

Noemie_Mathilde · 2020-10-27T23:20:53+00:00

If someone doesn't fight for you, they're not worthy of you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnIbJi_jWII

faithren · 2020-10-27T21:48:10+00:00

I’m not sure exactly what you’re going through but it’ll be okay!! Personally, when I was struggling with self esteem & confidence, learning to be comfortable alone, and taking myself out on dates was a great way to get reacquainted with who I am and learn to love myself again.

FirePreferred · 2020-10-28T01:42:06+00:00

It is truly amazing how life works. I imagine this is a moment in synchronicity. On my way home from a class today I was feeling like a total idiot and getting really down on myself. I'm taking the class as a prereq to go back for another degree...... but sometimes you just get yourself in a shame spiral and hard to get yourself out.

So, I listened to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaQQVevhZEM and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EirlZ7fy3bE&t=798s maybe I found them for you too u/curiousbubblemilktea . :) Let me know what you think!

YOU are worthy. YOU are beautiful. YOU have value. YOU are master of your own fate and have the power to be what you choose for yourself.

2020-10-28T04:43:24+00:00

Who knows why we have the karmas that we have to work through. But we have to work with our karmas.

Men are respected for what they do, and women how they feel.

Most relationships fail bc of man’s lack of capacity to do the right thing. You may have had compatibility, but there is compatibility as well as capacity for both man and woman.

I think it’s easier for women to work through their karmas as their responsibility in a relationship is simply to be open to love.

As an astrologer I have learned that most relationships fail bc of man’s inability to be able to do the right thing. Sometimes he lacks confidence and can’t step up when he is supposed to. So in the end he doesn’t do anything. Of course a lot of these men will not admit to this or are fully conscious of it as it is karmic.

Know that whoever this guy is with it will be the same thing. This is his karmic pattern he is showing you.

I suggest that you work on wherever your Venus or Jupiter is. Maybe spend some time contemplating these planets. See where Jupiter and mercury are aspecting. Or search within yourself. Find your flow (you don’t really need astrology for this it’s simply a tool).

The point is that you have to learn to be so content in your majesty that you will not be able to imagine or think of a man unless he actually has a lot to add to your life. Otherwise, you will not want him. A wise woman get to that point before allowing a man to enter her space.

Just by existing you will add grace to any man’s life you are in contact with. You’re a woman. Sexism is an illusion created to control us bc we are magical. 👑

Title	I don't know where to go. Or who to talk to. My self esteem and confidence are on all time low 💔 please help a sis 🥺
Author	CuriousBubbleMilkTea
Upvotes	246
Comments	36
Date	October 27, 2020 8:01 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jj8muw/i_dont_know_where_to_go_or_who_to_talk_to_my_self/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-dont-know-where-to-go-or-who-to-talk-to-my-self.734187 https://theredarchive.com/post/734187

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