Mission: Become a top tier statistician. Educate the body about scripture, and reading/living well, through the western tradition. Disciple the next generation of men in heart, soul, and strength in order reevangelize the broken west.

Stats: 25yo, ~18% bf, 5’10”, 160lbs, bench: ~160, deadlift: NA, squat:na. (I used to weigh 205 and would deadlift around 380, bench around 215, but between sciatica and tight IT bands haven’t lifted in about a year, so I’m very weak). In the interim, I’ve focused on weight loss for test benefits and am aiming for <10% bf by March. (I fast 5 days a week, and eat on weekends)

Reading: lurked TRP and Rollo’s blog for years (even before TRP quarantine) but just discovered fellow RPChristians (good to see you brothers!)

Finances: Student of applied math and classics. $130,000 debt but earning potential is high ($80,000-$100,000) due to entering data science field (and having connections/2 years background in network engineering)

Spiritual: Almost always praying throughout the day. I study the Bible through my classics program but also read it when I have time. Memorizing proverbs and Ecclesiastes. I’m a fairly connected dude so when I make friends in my hobbies (mainly dancing) I share the gospel with them.

Im severely lacking motivation, fellas and I know this is affecting my current courtship.

I know I need a pick me up, but I don’t know where to get it from. I have a great women I’m courting (who wants so badly to submit to my leadership), abundant opportunity to gain employable experience, high refs from profs, an easy last semester, web dev job, statistics research, but damn—I feel so empty. Like the gas has run out.

Possible causes I’m running around:

-I stopped taking my adhd meds 2 weeks ago. They’re stimulants drugs, and so maybe I’m having a comedown?

-I occasionally struggle with pmo, (but am in a group to address the spiritual psychological aspect.) so maybe flatline?

  • I fast 5 days a week because I don’t want to be a fat fuck with moobs anymore. So maybe just tired physically? I actually feeling better when fasting though.

  • lack of connection? Blue pill church has decided to go full remote. Guess I can go to a local OPC, but I also just agreed to help with sound. I also live in SoCal...

  • lack of masculine mentor ship? I used to have several mentors in several fields of life. But our relationships fell by the way side this last year.

  • anticipation of the last semester is causing me to burnout? Maybe I’m being too shortsighted and tripping myself up?

I don’t know what it is but I’m trying not to just white knuckle it through with drugs and coffee, since the stress is very unhelpful.

Would appreciate some advise my brothers!

Edit: on mobile!