A female coworker made it her hobby to call me ugly and loser behind my back to all other women... how can handle her?

JMS2019 · 2021-01-18T11:38:09+00:00

Do nothing, who gives a shit if she says things behind your back. And if they’re not true as well, all the more reason not to care. Caring shows you’re still insecure about it.
Confront her about it, but you would have to do this completely emotionless/stoic. Just be straight up and ask what her intentions are, but make sure you don’t show it bothers you. Hell, could even be she’s saying it because she knows she’s ugly and wants a good banging.

AJ_KG_JG · 2021-01-18T16:41:42+00:00

To each of Cunty's friends, be extra-nice and charming; win her over. In the process of doing this, make light mention of Cunty's nasty behavior, and with a rueful shake of your head, acknowledge that the poor girl must have some major insecurities/issues for acting that way. Remark that you sure hope Cunty doesn't talk that way about her behind her back, then smile and wish her a good day; repeat until all of her "friends" consider her a nasty shitbird.

TheStumblingWolf · 2021-01-18T11:37:58+00:00

Write it down every time you hear of it (who, date etc) for a while and then go to HR.

Natural_Singer · 2021-01-18T16:57:52+00:00

I'm in my 30's and I had a history of being bullied when I was younger. At my age, I don't give a shit anymore. I document it, go to HR and let them know this person is causing a toxic workplace and she needs to be deal with.

if it doesn't stop after that, go the lawsuit route or anything you can.

inkwind · 2021-01-18T13:15:56+00:00

Deadpan ask her "We got a problem?"

Then simply tell her to stop interfering into your life. Keep it short and emotionless.

You seem like a guy who people can walk over, because otherwise someone would have called her out already.

curvedbymykind · 2021-01-18T15:50:58+00:00

Fuck her in front of her friends to assert dominance

Yharnam_Queen · 2021-01-18T11:38:21+00:00

Rule #0- do not give a single fuck.

Herdsengineers · 2021-01-18T16:52:07+00:00

Grey rock her. That means be as interesting and reactive to her as a grey rock. Just do your job, be professionally courteous to your coworkers, and do not respond or react to her. What will happen is that what others hear her say vs. their own experience of you will not match. It will become obvious where the problem is, ie - HER.

If she organizes things without you, she does it. Don't let on it bothers you. A guy with options wouldn't be bothered, he'd go hang out with his other options. If you organize things without her, that's understandable too. If coworkers ask about it, it's simply because you know there's bad blood and don't want the drama to spill out in front of everyone. It's for everyone's best interest, not because of bad blood at this point. That's how you frame it to everyone.

She'll only continue to do herself in on her own more and more, and you'll eventually be seen as even better for not rising to the bait and staying cool and composed, while she's self-destructing at the same time.

2021-01-18T18:36:33+00:00

do nothing - treat her like a child. Don’t engage.

OR

Engage HR

thecarryone · 2021-01-18T16:52:48+00:00

Complete ignore her and everything relate to her.

319Skew · 2021-01-18T23:07:16+00:00

Why does it matter? I'm not trying to be dismissive. Just trying to understand why some random chick is worth confronting.

Is she in a position where her insults have any reason to cause concern?

UEMcGill · 2021-01-18T15:46:56+00:00

Fuck a few of the hot girls in the office. It worked for me. Hot girls will turn on an ugly girl in a heartbeat if she gets out of her place in the pecking order.

FudgingEgo · 2021-01-18T15:35:27+00:00

She probably wants to fuck you.

linkofinsanity19 · 2021-01-18T14:18:31+00:00

In front of others: "You sure like to talk about me quite a bit it seems. Don't get me wrong, I always appreciate the free rent in someone's head, but with how much you think about me, I can't help but think that you're actually interested, kinda like a kid who picks on their crush. However, I unfortunately can't reciprocate this interest."

Work place safe but still brutal enough to reject her in front of everyone and distance yourself from the impacts of her thoughts on you.

Internet-Top · 2021-01-18T15:00:38+00:00

Step 1-done give a f Step 2-actually work on improving yourself, go to the gym, always walk with confident, hop on semen retention, take care of how you look, self care etc. I'm not saying to reciprocate to what she says, but imagine if you're chris hamesworth, would she call you that? Guess not. Step 3-acknowledge that her friends just trying to reciprocate to her (herd mentality) because just imagine if one of them stand up for you, they'll suspect her (do you like him?, why are you defending him? Etc.) anyways, no one should stand up for you but yourself. Step 4-as you get better, you'll have better frame than her and people will like you more and no worries if you fucked her back. Whenever you hear her say anything about you just say (look at you, I wouldn't touch you with a stick anyways).

beachbbqlover · 2021-01-18T23:23:04+00:00

Do you know how?

You make it so her calling you ugly and a loser is ironic. Like calling a 6'4" 250lb bodybuilder "Tiny".

quickdrawmccaw · 2021-01-19T08:15:56+00:00

Armistice. Ask to meet for dinner and talk. Have sex with her. Problem solved.

btt069 · 2021-01-18T11:54:38+00:00

Dont give a fuck. do your work nicely. you work for a company not for her. try to neglect her and her shit behaviour.

Title	A female coworker made it her hobby to call me ugly and loser behind my back to all other women... how can handle her?
Author	myke98
Upvotes	16
Comments	31
Date	January 18, 2021 11:33 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/kzszv1/a_female_coworker_made_it_her_hobby_to_call_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/a-female-coworker-made-it-her-hobby-to-call-me.746286 https://theredarchive.com/post/746286

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