Maintaining independence while exclusively dating

whydenny · 2021-04-17T18:49:25+00:00

I thought i was the only one who wants a relationship without living together.

I would love to be with a HVM so we can support and love each other, but in my perfect scenario we both have our own place. And even if we spend most of our time in each other's place, we still know that we have our own space.

Aik2 · 2021-04-17T19:02:20+00:00

I feel like the most HVW thing to do if you like hanging out with him occasionally, is to remind him of your plans. You're doing you, he's a lovely addition to your life, but the focus is still on your life. You need your own time. If he sticks around, cool. If not, meh. Men are like buses, 10 mins later the next ones coming.

FDS-GFY · 2021-04-17T20:00:17+00:00

I have always thought my ideal relationship is where he lives next door.

But if they want a live in cook/housekeeper/bangmaid/ therapist, they aren’t gonna like that.

Huge red flag if he can’t be alone.

millennialpink2000 · 2021-04-17T18:18:23+00:00

"My kids go to their dad's biweekly and he now seems to expect that I'll spend that time with him."

This is where the slow creep is happening. Be vigilant about maintaining your boundaries and peace. He doesn't automatically get to see you because you're free. It's tempting to relax into the comfort (been there) but 6 months down the road you'll turn around and realize he takes up lots of your time.

Enjoy yourself, just remember to put yourself first :)

Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-04-17T18:32:05+00:00

I feel the same way. I would like to hear how someone manages the type of relationship where you're dating a man without living together or spending every day off together. I'm also a single mother but I don't want to get married or cohabitate but every man I meet wants this, and way too soon

oscine23 · 2021-04-18T04:22:23+00:00

Definitely maintain your boundaries as much as you want and without room for negotiation. It’s the only way to stay true to your commitments to yourself. If he knows exactly what you want and where you are unwilling to budge and he’s still happy then he belongs in your life. If he ever starts to encroach you’ll know what to do. Sounds like it’s going ok so far. Just remember to check in with yourself often.

Title	Maintaining independence while exclusively dating
Author	oscine23
Upvotes	82
Comments	17
Date	April 17, 2021 2:47 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mss29b/maintaining_independence_while_exclusively_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/maintaining-independence-while-exclusively-dating.762982 https://theredarchive.com/post/762982

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