Watch the Fathers

haunted_vcr · 2021-05-31T08:39:53+00:00

This is uncanny. Often a guy will point out the things his mother is/was unhappy with in her relationship, sympathizing with her and doing extra as a son to make it better - only to do the exact same to you.

I used to think it's a next level lack of object permanence, an inability to introspect, but it's way more sinister. They had role models for how to successfully take advantage of a woman and often keep her around.

It takes great strength to overcome initial programming, and few people choose to go down that path... Especially if they see no benefits.

namasdating · 2021-05-31T10:34:07+00:00

Even if you haven't met the father and the Scrote talks badly about the dad, that's a big red flag too. For example a NVM who said his father does zero around the house and verbally abuses his mother. RUN

catlady4u · 2021-05-31T11:41:34+00:00

This is so true. My father never knew his own father, but was a total mama's boy. One of his stepfathers was a mean drunk who beat my grandmother. I believe my then-teenaged father put him in the hospital for it.

My father always told women about his past up front, which involved manslaughter and ofc his sad, dysfunctional childhood. He was a tall, dark, handsome dude who got women to marry him quickly. Maybe his women were afraid to say no to him.

Davina33 · 2021-05-31T08:31:01+00:00

A man cannot help who his father is but unfortunately a lot follow suit. When it comes to breaking cycles, women are a lot stronger. I have three brothers. My stepfather, their father, was a NVM. An alcoholic abusive piece of shit who never worked a day in his life. He beat us all up, as the only girl and the only one with brown skin, I got it the worst. My mother is mixed and white passing but he was racist as hell.

Out of three brothers, only one is semi decent. My two other brothers are NVM who have hit past girlfriends as well. I'm nothing like them, my only addiction is coffee and I treat people with respect. My ex partner's have had parents who were still married. The last one had a lovely father but the other one didn't. Vetting a man's family dynamics is important.

Good-Strong · 2021-05-31T11:16:33+00:00

Sometimes these guys subconsciously want to "avenge" their mothers or sisters by treating other women the same too (because the culture in their families is such that standing up to the male family members who mistreat/abuse these women and sorting out the problem the right way is so out of question).

Honestly pick me's are such a big part of the problem, their role in these messes is often underestimated to a huge extent.

fluffybarbwire · 2021-06-01T06:47:36+00:00

It's scary how this is also valid even if they were raised by a single mother and they've never even met their deadbeat father. The hatred and contempt for single mothers in a woman hating society is so prevalent, it eventually brainwashes them to think she must have been some kind of uber bitch to "drive their daddy away".

As a teen rebellion they only have their mothers to rebel against, so they double down on this idea to protect their fragile masculinity. At some point it can build up to all women are bitches and "no wonder dad left you! " thrown in her face, even if he knows she barely escaped with their lives from an abuser.

A bad father doesn't have to present a shitty example every day, he can do just as much damage by simply not being there. Women's "daddy issues" are purely self destructive, but men's daddy issues are always destructive and they turn against women. That's why we live in a rape culture of victim blaming.

Whatever their daddy did, they'll find a way to turn on the mother and all women, simply because they're male and identify with him.

They may love her, sympathize with her and openly defend her all day, but subconsciously they have to find excuses for him to avoid self hatred.

Such type of internal conflicts breeds low self esteem, insecurity, emotional unavailability, abandonment issues and will be most likely left untreated, because fuck therapy, right.

Guess who'll be on the receiving end of all that?

Title	Watch the Fathers
Author	sacchilax
Upvotes	302
Comments	11
Date	May 31, 2021 4:14 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/notc09/watch_the_fathers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/watch-the-fathers.774048 https://theredarchive.com/post/774048

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