Having good boundaries does not just mean setting limits on what we will accept from others (the most common understanding). It also means being intentional about the limits on what you will do/say towards others.

I thought I had good boundaries because I didn't take disrespect from men or find men attractive who had obvious low-value traits. But I was wrong--I discovered I'm way too quick to share my vulnerabilities with others and that my boundaries on my own behavior needed major strengthening. I have a personality that is always drawn toward depth rather than shallowness, but I have had to learn that depth is only safe with truly vetted people in it for the long haul.

In a society that constantly places arbitrary and ridiculous restrictions on us as women, it can be hard to accept additional, self-imposed restrictions. But well-chosen boundaries actually ensure health, freedom, and happiness. Make your own strict rules and learn them well, so when the rare person arrives with whom it is safe to break them, you will flourish rather than be diminished.