My husband has taken away my credit card

ladida1321 · 2021-06-30T18:14:19+00:00

Info:

What does “slightly more than” the budget mean?

Have you ever had issues with over spending?

Do you over spend often?

What were you buying?

Do you feel like you get enough of the finances to live comfortably?

Does he have other controlling behaviors?

Are you happy?

Hopeful_Pay_6685 · 2021-06-30T19:35:27+00:00

Do you think he has a point or is he trying to be controlling? It's hard to say, because I don't know if you were overspending alot (from his perspective) or if you made a small mistake and he became unreasonably mad.

Rejoice7 · 2021-06-30T18:13:17+00:00

Do you trust him? Thats really the only question that matters

abacabbmk · 2021-06-30T20:25:44+00:00

Supporting 2 kids and a wife on one income could be really difficult. I dont know what your situation is, but if its that tight then its that tight and you both should work at meeting that budget.

I can no longer order things online anymore is a massive pain

Order things online with him and give him the equivalent cash back.

The-RPA-Guy · 2021-06-30T19:07:45+00:00

What do you think he should have done instead? If this keeps you from overspending going forward do you think his decision was effective?

thedukeofawesome · 2021-06-30T18:58:13+00:00

“Oh no, not the consequences of my actions again!”

A budget is a ceiling, not a target.

grahamcookiefart · 2021-06-30T20:19:03+00:00

You are asking for personal opinions; yes I think it is unreasonable for you to think he is overreacting. This may push you to find cheaper options. If no one shows consequences we will never be crafty. Eg. Instead of buying premade passata, making our own, homemade things in general and other stuff that decreases spending.

He didn't take away your budget, he gave it to you in cash. I don't see where he has done anything wrong

Edit: clarification

Luscious-Grass · 2021-06-30T20:49:39+00:00

Whoa!! This kind of thing gives the red pill woman a bad name.

Letting your husband handle the finances does not mean literally giving financial control over to him so that you are restricted like a child.

Rather, it means WILLINGLY giving him the job of handling the finances (you may, for example, have the job of handling choosing children's clothing and toys, as a contrast).

You are not being unreasonable. He does not get to control if you have a credit card or if you buy things online (unless it is actually his credit card legally, and in that case I recommend getting your own credit card and allowing him to access it).

If he is handling the finances and he says you can only afford to spend x on whatever category and you spend more, you are not honoring your agreement and you are being irresponsible.

Tell him that you see the error of your ways, mean it, and explain to him that him handling the finances does not mean treating you like a child. Tell him that you intend to act like an adult from now on, get your own credit card, give him access to it, and abide by your agreements as a wife.

TheBunk_TB · 2021-06-30T18:45:24+00:00

(Is the money enough for you/family to live off of?)(Do you need online orders to live?)

You should notice that he couldnt trust you. He drew a line/boundary.

Pain demands a response.

Can you show him that you are worthy of that trust again? Should you be rewarded for screwing up?

Im not saying that I agree with the dynamic here but it is yours/his dynamic.

oooKenshiooo · 2021-06-30T19:37:31+00:00

Only using cash is a very sensible response to credit card overspending. Involving a tactile component in buying things makes you think about how you are spending your money. Smart move from your husband and exactly what a leader should do.

Your job as a SAHM is making the most out of the budget you are assigned. If you can not do that, you are a liability to the household and it would be better if you had a job.

The right reaction to the situation would be to make a point of staying UNDER budget for the next few months until it becomes a habit.

tulipiscute · 2021-06-30T21:27:25+00:00

Take the credit card back. Then what? The only control he has over you is the control you give him. Unless you’re in an abusive situation, where it is different. Do you feel like you will get hurt (physically or emotionally) if you say no to him?

Financial abuse is often an early sign of abuse, even if you gave him permission initially. Because I don’t think you gave him permission to “take away your card”. If he is pushing the boundaries you agreed upon you need to have a conversation and reassess and reaffirm those boundaries. Your job as a STAM is just as important as a traditional labor based job. Upon this agreement, finances should be of equal discussion to you, not him dictating what you do just because you decided he’d do taxes.

I’d be weary and research early signs of abuse. Or, if you aren’t worried, take the card back.

Title	My husband has taken away my credit card
Author	Maleficent_Check_625
Upvotes	8
Comments	15
Date	June 30, 2021 5:39 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ob2btf/my_husband_has_taken_away_my_credit_card/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-husband-has-taken-away-my-credit-card.788116 https://theredarchive.com/post/788116

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