I've been wanting to make this post for a while, mainly because perhaps some young lurkers or members can relate to my words and I want them to feel that they're not alone.

For context, I am 20 yet I don't feel 20. Without sounding absurd and cringy, I often find myself having very little in common to most people my age. Of course I have immature personality traits and other things specific to a 20 yo but there are also many things that I worked on through therapy, self reflection and with the help of my closest friends.

Since this subreddit focuses on dating, I will share my thoughts about this subject.

First of all, I don't get modern dating. Like at all. Online dating seems weird, starting a relationship with someone you've known for 2 weeks is even weirder and downright sleeping with a stranger is the weirdest shit ever to me. Back when I was younger, I thought something was wrong with me because I couldn't develop feelings for my then crushes. In reality, I think this is the normal way of being, it isn't healthy to be vulnerable with someone you just met. It makes more sense to be that way with a friend or with someone with whom you have an emotional connection with.

Another element I genuinely do not get is hopping from relationship to relationship, or the need to have one. Why? Why do we get our worth and validation from a social status? Especially when that implies that we accept trashy behavior just for the sake of having a relationship. I know many cases around me, from girls that consider not ignoring your "no" as standards to girls that put up with attempted cheating (they tried to cheat with me but that is a story for another day...), blamed the woman and continued the relationship. Of course, the ones that are single now regret it but it's sad that they had such a mentality that allowed themselves to accept such situations.

My first relationship started this year and looking back I am grateful that I didn't have any relationships before 20. They would have most likely ended bad and would have left me with certain issues, more than I already have from my upbringing.

My last point is our obsession with physique and looks. The objectification that goes on in the dating world is truly sickening. I am a person that does not fit the standard desired body shape so it has been and it still is a journey to love myself and accept myself. I am sad that I allowed myself to feel as if I do not deserve love because I'm curvy. And God knows how damaging it was to see people pick girlfriends and boyfriends based on height, abs, fat etc. Isn't it more important to see how that person acts and loves? I've met dudes that are objectively really attractive and I felt nothing for because of their personality, whereas I'm smitten with my boyfriend even though he isn't the typical Chad, solely because he is an outstanding guy.

I remember when I was 14-15 and I felt odd and weird because I was almost 6ft yet after 2 years of making myself feel insecure I realized my worth doesn't come from insecure boys that don't find me attractive cause I am 5 cm taller than them.

Anyways, it feels like I ranted a bit too long but my point is, my generation seems shallow. It feels like our priorities are all wrong and instead of finding a life partner based on healthy standards, we want a puppet that we find hot and we occasionally bump limbs with for fun.

Everyone is entitled to their own experience, but as a 20 yo in 2021, this has been my piece of mind.