I’v always been very feminine. I was never a tomboy, I couldn’t keep up with guys in any sense of the word, but from my life experience, this has always caused me mockery from men and bullying from masculine type women.

Iv posed this question in other subs, particularly subs with men, so I could get the guys perspective on what the problem actually is.

A little back story, in my last department, at a job I no longer work for, the women in my department were masculine type women. It wasn’t that they were feminists or man haters. They were more like feminine women haters. They love men. In fact they hang out with them as buddies. They watch football with men, they do men’s activities like shooting guns, fishing and mudding.

I am not a country girl.. so those activities are foreign to me , however , I moved from an urban area to a country area about 9 years ago.

I noticed that these women were never taught eloquence, allure, glamour, graciousness or sensuality. I’m assuming they didn’t have mother’s that had these characteristics and probably spent a lot of time with their fathers, whom were most likely blue collar workers.

Long story short, these women did not like me. I was called things like, Princess, prim Adana, high maintenance, and pristine. None of them really wore makeup or nail polish. They were more like foot ball jerseys, sneakers, work boots, jeans, etc

Because I wear dresses and act extremely feminine, they saw me as someone that wasn’t worthy of the same respect. It was almost as though they were very sarcastic, had men’s behavior, and since guys feel it’s necessary to bust my chops, just for being girly, these women would join in with the men.

These women were completely heterosexual, right winged , either married or in relationships. One of them said, I hate girly girls, all they are is drama.

The men in my department, seemed to have held these women’s opinions at a higher regard. I wasn’t taken as seriously because I was feminine. In fact, I was treated with an underlying sexual tone, that eluded to my place as a woman.

It’s interesting that it wasn’t my gender that was looked at in a belittling manner, but it was my femininity that was.

When I asked men on a different sub, what their thoughts were about this, I got mixed replies. Silly me to assume all men preferred femininity as a character trait in a woman, but more men than not stated they prefer the tomboy over the girly girl. They saw the girly girl as a sex object, but too high maintenance as a partner.

I was absolutely stunned because this was not how I was raised. My father made it clear, girls don’t hang out with guys at the bar. As a child, he wouldn’t even let me sit with him and his buds playing cards.. yet these women seemed to know a mans language, behavior, sarcasm and activities. Also, by my personal experience, being too pristine has worked against me.

I have no intentions on changing who I am at this point of my life, but I’m clearly confused about roles in modern society. And insights ? I joined this sub to connect with other girly girls like myself, that may have experienced similar situations! Thanks 🙏🏻