Searching for real Advice on how to support my Brother going through a Divorce.

Tomo201070 · 2021-07-24T23:58:31+00:00

As a guy doing it on his own with no family or close friends around, the biggest thing you can do is be there for him. Hold him. Hug him tight. Be present. He’s probably gonna be hurting and knowing he can vent to you, without judgement, is priceless.

Help him through.

pegleg_legal · 2021-07-25T02:49:36+00:00

Support his emotions and be there to talk
Give him the woman's perspective on things
Hold him accountable for unproductive behaviors
Help him organize his documents and information

Dissident41 · 2021-07-25T03:55:20+00:00

Just be there. And when you get tired of hearing all of it, and you will, use the support systems you have to vent and release, but keep listening and keep being there. I'm almost a year in, and I've vented to my sibling so much I feel awful. Sometimes I forget to ask how they're doing. It's not personal. This process is so much more than just "loss" that it's hard to even have the capacity to be there for anyone else, let alone recognize that you don't. They aren't being selfish or self centered. They're there, watching the life they had crumble, and aren't even able to start rebuilding their future until the process of divorce is over. They're forced to stand idle and stare at the rubble, when all they want is for it to be over and start rebuilding.

Be the hero they need, not the one they deserve. Just. Be. There.

bopapocolypse · 2021-07-25T00:39:09+00:00

So, I’m going through a divorce and I’ve got a younger sister who is doing an amazing job of supporting me when I need it. We’ve always been close, but early on she let me know that she’d be there for me. I definitely call her more frequently these days and we have longer talks. She doesn’t rush me or try to talk me out of my feelings. She asks questions but also knows when to just listen. If your brother has kids, it might be helpful to offer to watch them from time to time if possible. For me, it’s not about gifts or tangible things. It’s about knowing that if it’s late at night and I’m feeling depressed, there is someone I can call who genuinely loves and cares about me.

throwawaytheresties · 2021-07-25T03:36:45+00:00

Get him to send any and all emails or texts written to his ex to you instead. It’ll give him and a chance to vent safely, give you a window into his feelings and advice and editing on how to respond safely and tactfully. Edit: if you’re married, my sisters husband was my best support during my divorce. Just a thought.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-07-25T03:30:33+00:00

Tell him this: 50% of all marriages end in divorce. 80% of all divorces initiated by women. He's not special and all of us go through this. Tell him he can PM me in case he needs to talk.

I've been going through this for over 2 years including false allegations.

greasy_dago_smell · 2021-07-25T02:24:58+00:00

The biggest piece of advice I can give is to not judge any feelings he is having. I’m two months into a divorce and have two young daughters. When I vent or even just express my feelings to my family, they often scold me or harshly judge the things I say. Deep down, I know that I they’re right and feeling angry isn’t helping my situation. But there’s no avoiding the deep negative feelings your brother is/will be facing. Accept his feelings for the temporary things they are. In time all things will change and hopefully improve, but for now don’t add to the pain by making him feel guilty about his feelings. Support is always the best option, even if that just means saying ‘I hear you’.

Title	Searching for real Advice on how to support my Brother going through a Divorce.
Author	cynthiaaf
Upvotes	13
Comments	17
Date	July 24, 2021 11:50 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/or0wfk/searching_for_real_advice_on_how_to_support_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/searching-for-real-advice-on-how-to-support-my.816414 https://theredarchive.com/post/816414

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