I have been married for almost 15 years, and together for 18. We have always had a very volatile combo of personalities. Me being disorganized, a dreamer, a musician, a gamer, but a steady worker and contributor. She is the polar opposite in almost every way. No impulses, never smoked a cigarette, or pot, rarely drinks, was Valedictorian in High School, Deans list in college. Logical, organized, efficient, concise. We have always clashed and clashed hard, and in the last 8 years or so, the shift we have both taken in our viewpoints, parenting styles and way of wanting to do life has diverged so completely that it has culminated in a communication vacuum, and a house devoid of love or partnership. She seems to be fine with that, but its because she ultimately won the power over how we do our life throughout the marriage. Meaning she is super smart, efficient, non impulsive, so naturally her handling the finances made sense. I never asked her to do it, but she didn't like the way I handled it, so she took over. It was a natural progression from there. She began to dictate every purchase I made and every small and big decision I would try to make. I was able to gloss over some of that, until we had kids. Then, as it naturally does in almost every marriage with kids, the differences became glaring, obvious, and a major sticking point that led to a LOT of fights, and mostly about the stupidest shit ever. I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts in years past, but I believe a lot of the worst of that is a byproduct of a suffocating marriage that I feel powerless in. Every time I try to assert myself and take control of a situation, it is immediately mocked, scrutinized and questioned. To her, this is just NOP. I cant live like that. Not anymore.

​

So that is a little context. I told her this divorce decision was going to be final last night, but my daughters 11 and 8 were over at my in-laws house. My wife then drove over there after we talked and told the girls that I was divorcing her and moving into an apartment nearby. I am going to talk to them in person today, but I just don't know how to make any of it make any fucking sense to them. I know it is just going to be pain and confusion for awhile, but what do I tell them to help them understand? I am so gutted over this, but I truly feel it will be best for everyone in the end. Or I could be dead wrong and I fucked up the only good thing I will have in this life. At this point, my focus is stability in my job, and being the best Dad I can be to my girls. I have been short and impatient with them for so long, and so much of that stems from the tension and frustration in our household due to a broken marriage.