Separated, what now?

BawdyBarrister · 2018-12-06T04:13:54+00:00

Two paths, Path One, party and fuck up your life and your kids. Path Two, work hard to better yourself in every way to be the Man you should be - hit the gym, new haircut, new clothes, read, go to church, work harder and make more money. Get yourself hardcore,

Then watch all the pretty younger ladies take notice of you. THEN have your fun.

Good luck.

hitman9921 · 2018-12-06T03:56:09+00:00

File for divorce, get it over with. Be picky with lawyers. Go to counseling guaranteed he or she will tell you that they do not see their clients getting back together after separation.

dday_throwaway3 · 2018-12-06T13:42:50+00:00

Moving out before you have a custody order in place can be fatal. Your STBX can withhold the kids from visiting your place at any time, and there's not a thing you can do. You're allowing your wife to set status quo where she has the kids 80% of the time. The court is going to look at status quo and go, "Looks like this is working, no reason to change it." Status quo is the greatest bias of the court.

Also, you've now given her everything she wants: the marital residence, the kids, your money and no you. She has no incentive to finalize the divorce. You on the otherhand are now paying for two residences. How long do you think that's going to go on before you run out of money, and then accept whatever shitty deal she offers just to get the divorce over with?

Dirty_Socks_Mullins · 2018-12-06T04:04:36+00:00

Now you fuckin party, man. Get a bunch of cheap booze and invite over strangers you've never met before.

sleeze02 · 2018-12-06T05:53:53+00:00

What now? Wish I could tell you.... it’s pretty much a crapshoot. Good luck feller

franzcar · 2018-12-06T12:54:36+00:00

Stay busy with activities. Learn something new from udemy.com. Go hiking, join meetup groups. Just don’t mope around. Agree with the counseling and maybe your own therapist to help through these times.

j_smith987 · 2018-12-06T14:38:50+00:00

Since this is a new situation, no amount of advice is going to help at this time unless you start working towards accepting this change in your life. What worked for me was long hours in the gym, spending a lot of time with friends. Time will heal. Though it will be tough, try not to fall into the self pity zone. This time will pass! If you are frustrated about your divorce or you think you got a bad deal, it will manifest when your kids visit you & in your communication with your ex. Try to move on & never ever let your kids get impacted! Keep your communications with your ex very formal. Remove excessive pictures of your ex & kids. If these pics are in front of you all the time, that is all you will think!!

lemmingsrevenge · 2018-12-06T17:18:07+00:00

I feel the same way. My situation is different, i was able to start legal when my wife left and now have 50% but the days the kids are with mom are soul crushing. It's really easy to get down, especially during the holidays. It's time to find you. Get out of the house and do things. It's awkward at first, but in time the new norm will establish itself.

Keep your chin up.

warrior_up · 2018-12-06T18:40:42+00:00

Nothing you can change now but yourself and your mindset. You moved out, not worth stressing about that now - there’s going to be many situations like this until divorce is final that there’s simply no need in worrying about any longer as it won’t effect anything but your mental well being.

Doesn’t necessarily get better, you just get stronger - that’s what happens first, then in time It’ll get better. So strengthen yourself in every way physically and mentally - let the rest work itself out. One day at a time and don’t take yourself too seriously - all good

smylemaster · 2019-01-05T20:32:45+00:00

Get on Tinder, Bumble or Plenty of Fish. Don't get in a relationship but definitely get back out there and meet people. IT HURTS but the pain will pass eventually. But sitting at home by yourself just going over it again and again in your head isn't healthy. And oh yeah see a therapist. IT'S A MUST to help deal with how your feeling right now. good luck

Title	Separated, what now?
Author	card86
Upvotes	6
Comments	12
Date	December 6, 2018 3:41 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/a3k59w/separated_what_now/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/separated-what-now.819901 https://theredarchive.com/post/819901

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