Do Sexy and Modest mix?

kekerae · 2014-01-01T19:54:55+00:00

What about something like this? Great jeans/pants, button up blouse, cardigan or other sweater on top depending on the season. Or what about a tunic and leggings look like so? This can span a lot of seasons by wearing flats or wedges or tall warm boots and switching the top for a sweater dress.

2014-01-01T20:32:46+00:00

Love talking about clothes!

CptDefB · 2014-01-02T12:01:31+00:00

I don't really know how you guys reconcile this, especially since every Captain's rules will be different. Personally, I think certain things just cannot be hidden. You spend enough time eyeing women and even a turtleneck can be sexy because if it's fitted well, and she's shaped well, she'll fill it out with her bust and torso. Wearing a long dress? Good luck, the moment you lean forward that fabric is going to fall over your ass like a curtain revealing whatever shaped backside you may have.

So, there's one chick I know who dresses very well. Jeans, a lot of jeans, but they're tight (not low rise) and I don't recall seeing her midriff/lower back if she stretches/bends or anything. Usually her tops (simple stuff like v necks) come down to upper or midthigh (avoiding the lower back thing). None of the Vs have been "too low" (although she's a modest B cup, so no plunging cleavage there), and sometimes a simple scarf complements the whole thing to a level of class not seen among young girls in the city. She's in an LTR with some dude, respectfully keeps me at bay, and manages to look classy and attractive without actually showing off anything. Ah, knee high boots... the boots are key. Might seem wrong, but I mean... it's more material than normal boots/shoes.

You can't hide it if you're good looking (no burqas plz), but you can definitely play down your features or redirect attention without putting them on display. Sadly, with less sometimes being more, looking all classy may make you even -more- attractive to some men.

Special shout out to those girls who wear dresses/skirts/coats/jackets that make them look like they're from the fashionable class of a different time. Hard to go wrong there. If you have a bit of a thing for steampunk for example, try incorporating little bits into your attire ("I'm gonna wear this cute little pocket watch today."). That way, any conversation about your body will tend to be about your accessories, rather than your features (well, mostly accessories).

Sidenote... still look sexy! Or, if your Captains want you to look "unattractive", suggest to them that might not work, since you want him to think sexy things when he looks at you. If my girl is wearing loose jeans so that other guys can't stare at her ass, that means I also can't stare, because every time I look I'm going to see loose jeans that make her ass look worse than it is. Imo, fuck that.

StingrayVC · 2014-01-01T20:18:11+00:00

What about something like this? Often times, one can seriously convey sexy without showing much skin at all. It's in the attitude and it's can be conveyed to your husband only.

StingrayVC · 2014-01-01T22:27:38+00:00

A fairly dressy night out with your husband

For a formal evening, though strapless might be too much?

If strapless is too much

Another

More casual for the day or a fun date

My thought is to never underestimate the sexiness of flirty. You can go for the overt playboy sexy in the bedroom and foreplay that with flirty yet appropriate out and about.

sugarcrush · 2014-01-01T23:15:06+00:00

You can absolutely be modest and sexy! I think it's far better than slutty and sexy too. It's the kind of sexy that lasts for years rather than ending when you hit the wall.

Is tight clothing okay as long as everything is covered? If so, I think Pencil Skirts are a good modest/sexy mix. Mid rise skinny jeans like these also show your curves but keep everything covered.

Another look I love is fit and flare dresses. They are so sexy and feminine for the spring and summer. For fall and winter, sweater dresses with tights and boots are wonderful.

Overall, I would stick to looking at stores with more of a preppy aesthetic, like j crew, banana republic, Ralph Lauren, etc. they have classic pieces that are feminine and sexy but classy and keep all the bits covered. Also, I noticed you posted that you like retro, drapey styles? You might also check out Anthropologie for modern takes on those styles. Don't buy full price though, everything goes on sale eventually.

Bakerofpie · 2014-01-02T01:00:02+00:00

Does he like it when you wear revealing things for him as long as you're not leaving the house? Just wondering if he wants you covered only so other men aren't looking or if he really just doesn't find that style of dress appealing at all.

I would be surprised if he weren't into you dressing sexy for him at home. What I like to do is wear something that is modest while still attractive (below-the-knee dress that shows off my small waist and little else) and have some sexy lingerie on underneath. Sometimes I'll give him a preview of what's under my dress right before we go out so that he's thinking about it all night, or "accidentally" let a little something show (when I am certain he is the only one who will see it!!!) during dinner or something. That way HE knows I'm looking sexy for him alone, but I still look attractive enough to be his arm candy to the outside world.

I'll also sometimes wear a very form-fitting dress that hugs my curves but put a long jacket over it when we go out so that my butt and hips are sort of covered. I have very small breasts so I don't have to worry about showing cleavage. I imagine a long cardigan or jacket would disguise an ample bosom enough as long as the dress underneath wasn't low-cut.

PhantomDream09 · 2014-01-02T01:21:15+00:00

Normally I avoid talking about or mentioning anything to do with either my sex life or my sexuality...so this is pushing the boundaries for me on a few levels, but I wanted to reply.

I definitely think sexy and modest go together. A woman that is modest, but still looks really good in 'tame' clothing can be extremely appealing. If you look good playing it safe, then logic says you're going to look even better when you start taking a bit more risk. The sexy librarian is a classic 'nice, but naughty underneath' figure. She has brains, looks harmless, but has a significant amount of sexual appeal. I think the modest sexy is great because it goes hand in hand with the idea that women should be "His whore." The modest sexy doesn't give a show to everyone in the room, and that in no way interferes with you SO's ability to recognize your physical attractiveness. The sexy modest look pairs innocence (and suggests a demure nature) while also striking more primal notes at the same time. Style choices of this nature say "what I have is not for everyone to see, but I still have a lot going on."

I'm not especially comfortable with showing a lot of skin (dresses that hit my mid-thigh are enough to make me feel too exposed), and my SO enjoys my style. I have noticed that wearing modest clothing most of the time really ramps up the effect on my SO when I do wear something a bit out of my normal comfort-zone. He encourages me to be more adventurous sometimes, and appreciates my day-to-day style. The same thing works in terms of make-up. I always wear my face plain (which my SO really likes), so when I do put on a little mascara and eye color - it has more of an effect on him.

Lady_Motido · 2014-01-01T22:04:42+00:00

my husband thinks anything i wear that makes HIM think i look attractive is slutty lol i think hes five minutes from putting me in a burqa. i was finally allowed to wear skinny jeans and boots this year and hes still not thrilled when i leave the house. its kind of embarrassing at my age, im like dude, they aint all trying to bang me. but its flattering too

morganlane · 2014-01-01T20:56:45+00:00

I like to think I've found a good balance between the two by relying on simple pieces that flatter my figure. I have a slim hourglass figure, so I find form-fitting pieces work best for me. For a casual look, I'm a big fan of pairing dark skinny jeans and a classy pair of boots with a simple, fitted sweater. Fitted turtleneck sweaters can be a great sexy yet modest option. For winter, fit-and-flare outerwear is a great addition as well. I also love layers, especially camisoles, since I do not show cleavage. A fitted button-down top with a cami underneath is a classic option.

As far as dressier options go, I'm a bit lost since formal occasions for me are few and far between. I'm looking forward to reading the replies here for some ideas.

Lady_Motido · 2014-01-03T20:38:40+00:00

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2014-01-05T21:41:17+00:00

Religious women (Jewish, Muslim) have been doing this dance for years because of the halachic and shaaria laws, respectively. Trying to be sexy and modest at the same time. It's definitely possible! And you don't even have to cover your hair like they do. One of my rules has always been form fitting - not skin tight. Cleavage (unfortunately) isn't much of an issue for me. ;)

Katyara · 2014-01-02T01:37:45+00:00

I dress for BetterHalf at all times. I am for him and I care nothing for what is comes across to anyone else. I don't hide for anyone and BetterHalf enjoys my attire quite a bit. He knows it's for him.

Most of my clothes are form fitting and the 'dress up clothes' can be even more 'slinky'. But, I also go to his gigs and such where I am with him. I don't go overboard with thongs showing but I have shorter skirts or ankle length with slits up the side. I have a pretty nice shoe collection (could always use more!) as well. I have been known to send him pics over the phone of something I am halfway on getting to get his input. I love the fact we have such honesty that he can tell me what he thinks without being some sort of personal insult.

He enjoys my style, which I cannot even find example of online. I've been known to have my black leather bodice on with a loose top under it and a tai silk wrap skirt or the satin pants with a scarf and coin sash (belly dancer belt) with high boots. Copious amounts of purple usually fall in there somewhere as well :) I guess its a touch of 80s/goth and geek t shirts. I love to accessorize and add jewelry to the look as well. The jewelry isn't expensive stuff but just things I have made or have been made for me. I have a special fondness for copper and silver.

All in all it seemed to be very much to his liking when we first got together and if anything he encouraged me to be even more 'vibrant' with hair charms, finger-less gloves and other such flair. I see myself as a treasure on his arm. I dress accordingly for him to admire no matter where we are.

FleetingWish · 2014-01-02T18:00:52+00:00

My SO not only allows me to dress sexy, he encourages it. He takes pride in the fact that I look good, and feels as though he's won if other men want his girl. If other men flirt with me, it means I'm desirable. He wants to be the envy of everyone else in the room, because it reflects on his own game and desirability to have the hottest girl in the room.

Dressing sexy doesn't mean dressing slutty, but it does mean looking good.

I'd wonder why your man doesn't want you looking good. Is he afraid you might leave him if some guy looks at you the wrong way?

Title	Do Sexy and Modest mix?
Author	Lady_Motido
Upvotes	5
Comments	40
Date	January 1, 2014 7:41 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1u6a0e/do_sexy_and_modest_mix/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/do-sexy-and-modest-mix.84118 https://theredarchive.com/post/84118

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