Job Problems

buttholette · 2014-04-08T06:16:43+00:00

Make sure you initiate sex often. Make him know that you want him and that you appreciate him and value him, in everything you can.

dicarlok · 2014-04-08T06:25:29+00:00

That is horrible position for a man to be in. Support by listening if he wants to talk but don't make him. Be available and let him know that. Show that he's still desired and appreciated and remove any stresses at home that he can avoid. Things will feel out of control for him so maintain a nice calm environment at home and let him feel in control there.

Rooibosisboss · 2014-04-08T18:34:31+00:00

im a guy first time i've ever posted here and was just reading some posts came across yours and thought i'd suggest something.

it may sound odd or counterproductive but ask him to do something you actually do need done whatever it may be, i.e. fixing something/working on something bad examples but you get the gist. You know better than I what it could be.

Helps in two ways:

1.He will actually be doing something and he can feel accomplished about. Which takes his mind off not being accomplished in the job arena. 2. You aren't doing that thing a lot/most women do where a woman (with good intentions) tries to help out to much and makes the guy feel even more emasculated.

again though i have to stress make sure it is something he should/can do, so that way you don't come across as transparent. It needs to be something really only he can do.

sorry for being vague and i hope it helps.

[deleted] · 2014-04-08T09:07:58+00:00

Encourage him to spend time with his alpha male friends. Coming from you "support" can sometimes just add to his feeling of emasculation. Even if he knows your intentions are good he might feel judged or belittled. When my man is in a rut, sometimes my "support" (esp advice) is taken as criticism, but often his bros will know just what to say to get him motivated and relieve some of the pressure. They've all been there at some point.

Man-to-man support is different from woman-to-man (or woman-to-woman) support and it's important for a man to know his dudes are behind him as well as his woman.

wailingbanshee · 2014-04-08T19:55:37+00:00

He's a man. He doesn't need your help.

[deleted] · 2014-04-08T23:59:41+00:00

My SO is unemployed due to unfortunate circumstances and in the process of looking for a new job as well. I know he gets so bored being in his apartment all the time, and he actually had some fun with his old job, so I know what you're dealing with to some degree.

The major thing is keeping the space together comfortable and not stressful, as usual. Don't bring up the issue on your own, since bringing it up can make him feel worse sometimes.

As some of the others have said, give him even more control over everything else, as it will give him something to do in the mean time of waiting to find something new.

Also, let him spend even more time with his friends. They'll be even more helpful than you could likely ever be, since they'll know the right advice to give and will be able to cheer him up in a different way. Guys need to spend time with their friends anyway, so why not let him do that more often?

sugarcrush · 2014-04-09T02:07:49+00:00

We just got out of a super similar situation, husband working menial job while looking for the real thing and I was earning most of our money. So from the other side I can tell you, it does get better!

Your home is like his "office" now so try to treat it that way by keeping it stress free, organized, and neat. He doesn't need to be worrying about where the phone charger is right before he is expecting a call back. If he can have a dedicated area to set up a computer, phone, maps, whatever other job search tools he needs that would be good.

On his part, if he can set up a linkedin profile that would be helpful. Also- encourage him to tell EVERYBODY that he is looking for a job... Networking is pretty much everything these days and that's how my husband found his job. If he's substitute teaching does he want to be a full time teacher? It would be really easy to hit up the principal on lunch or after school and say hey here's my resume if you have any openings.

Other than that my husband just liked to hear "we'll get through this" from me. Another good one is "I have a roof over my head, food, and you, that's all I need" followed by a big hug. You guys can do it!!! Best of luck to you, I know it's a hard situation.

CapnSalty · 2014-04-08T09:07:01+00:00

You could give him control over small things like what's for dinner, or breakfast. Let him be in charge of the remote, what you buy when you go grocery shopping. Ask for his advice about things you already know the answer to, just to let him feel a little more in control of life.

wendy-fly · 2014-04-08T15:34:42+00:00

This is a hard situation for everyone involved and good for you for not getting caught up in your own anxieties about it. You've already received lots of amazing advice, the only thing I'd add is to remind yourself that 'this too shall pass'. He will find a better job if he keeps trying, it's just a matter of time. Keep your frame and you won't have a bunch of emotional baggage to work through once he does.

inkedpink · 2014-04-08T22:55:13+00:00

Support him and love him. Make him know he is appreciated in all aspects. And while I don't know what his profession of choice is, I always suggest to people to look into their local state department of labor for job fairs and the like. Also federal jobs are a-plenty over at usajobs.gov

Title	Job Problems
Author	dicarlok
Upvotes	3
Comments	19
Date	April 8, 2014 5:52 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/22huta/job_problems/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/job-problems.84391 https://theredarchive.com/post/84391

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