I have this problem

homo_homini_lupus · 2014-10-15T19:35:07+00:00

Hypergamy, have you read any RP materials? This is classic

crapshack · 2014-10-15T19:45:10+00:00

It's definitely happened to me in the past before I found my SO. Doesn't it make sense to want a mate who can contribute at least the same as you do to your future household? Especially if you're going to be doing all of the homemaking. I don't understand the "superhero" women who work demanding high-level careers AND take care of the house, kids, and all of that. What's the husband left to do? That will undoubtedly breed resentment and a lack of respect.

JustAnne · 2014-10-15T21:06:15+00:00

if that's what you want and enjoy: go for it. and go places where you meet men who are smarter than you, if you're going to break up with your current boyfriend that is. i know that feeling, i couldnt be with someone who i feel is less intelligent than me. work on yourself to be the best person you could possibly be. and once you've found someone who is more successful make sure to work on your hypergamy.

OR.

work out your hypergamy. remember why you're happy and how great your boyfriend is. there's a reason you're with him, right?

TheTerrorSquad · 2014-10-15T21:51:20+00:00

I'm afraid of what will happen if my achievements overtake him. Which I'm confident there's a high chance they might.

Does it sit well with you that you have these feeling? If not then challenge yourself and know that you would be the shitty person in this relationship if indulging these thoughts. You lower you value considerably by going with these thoughts. I mean does it not feel utterly shit that your feelings to him can change like this in direct correlation to how succesful he is compaired to you?

Either you love him and have made a promise to him and taake a pleasure and pride knowing youd stick by him through thick and thin and if you cant give him loyalty then you let him go and allow him to find that with a woman who can

HappyWifeLife · 2014-10-15T21:26:30+00:00

I hope you find some peace and stability within yourself or you are going to wreck every last good thing in your life. Ask yourself what the hell is going on with you that the goodness in your life just isn't good enough. When you have an answer and a clear direction towards change, that's when you will find peace and happiness with what you have.

proprioceptor · 2014-10-15T23:32:21+00:00

I'm currently in grad school, and am now in a position where I'm trying to balance my career options with my future family and my SO's goals. It's hard. I think I would have made some decisions differently had I been an RPW 4 years ago. It's doable, but I often have to make myself step back and remember what my ultimate goals are. My goal now in grad school is to set myself up to be in the best possible asset to my husband. I've started taking pride in different accomplishments, and it is no less fulfilling than what I was doing before.

I do understand the mentality that you're describing though. You aren't the only one :)

relationshipdownvote · 2014-10-19T16:02:43+00:00

Chances are if he already has a career at a good company and is gaining experience under his belt while you are still getting your education, he will always be ahead of you, he will always have at least two more years of experience than you and unless his career progress stagnates or yours moves at an incredible rate, he will always be ahead of you. You should simply try to be happy and do your best while helping him and encouraging him to do his best. Your incredibly early insecurities about him as a successful partner are very concerning and something you really need to worry about more, are you going to let yourself be happy?

TempestTcup · 2014-10-15T19:50:35+00:00

People tend to get full of themselves when they are doing well, but if it affects the way you envision and react to your SO, then that's hypergamy rearing it's head, like /u/homo_homini_lupus says.

I think that remembering all the reasons you are grateful for having your SO in your life might help. Remember, just because we are built with hypergamy doesn't mean we have to let it take over our lives or act on that impulse.

Aerobus · 2014-10-15T20:46:08+00:00

I'm currently applying for graduate programs and things are looking good. But when I imagine getting in to a good school, I find myself afraid that, that small victory will make me perceive my partner in a different way even though he is academically and career-wise, currently above me.

Here's a tip: don't go to grad school. You're only going to further limit the pool of partners you will be happy with because of your hypergamy, which is the name of the problem you and every woman on the planet faces.

Littlenewred · 2014-10-16T01:03:49+00:00

Make a mental list now of all the great things about him. Revisit this list frequently and add to it. Like /u/JustAnne said, remember why you're with him in the first place.

Title	I have this problem
Author	Simpsondimsum
Upvotes	3
Comments	15
Date	October 15, 2014 7:28 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2jcgsq/i_have_this_problem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-have-this-problem.84954 https://theredarchive.com/post/84954

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