Weekly Self-reflection Thread: 11/09/2015

fhigurethisout · 2015-11-09T14:55:00+00:00

Last week I kept two major things in mind, as it was my goal to overcome the two dramas that had happened:

You're the captain of your ship -- you are in control of yourself and your actions, don't focus on the uncontrollable (thanks to cats_or_get_out)
Have an attitude of gratitude (tempesttcup's post!)

relationships:

Yes, my mum tried to extend the drama by getting other people involved. But I stood my ground this time and didn't involve myself; i ignored her actions, focused on my own life (and mentorship which has been awesome!)--as a result, she has resorted to sweeping everything under the rug like nothing happened. This is the closest I will ever get to an apology from her, lol.

Boyfriend and I didn't see each other much last week (twice?). I've stayed out of his hair while he has been studying for a huge exam, and I have been pretty busy as well. We're finally hanging out later today, I'm really excited. :) !!!

I went to an exercise class with one of my lovely, feminine friends that I admire very much. We had a good discussion about parenting and how both of our parents are 'yelling' and irrational types. once again, she reinforced what cats(lol the user) told me last week: how we can only control and steer our own ship, and be responsible for ourselves, not others. :) She isn't anti-feminist, but she has cultivated a pretty rpw mindset due to her religious background and some experiences and i think she's a good influence in my life.

career:

Feeling really good about this! Mentorship is going well, and I have been much more productive. I received a project which is the most I've been paid for, and it will be the cover art for a big tabletop game :)

health:

Exercised 6 days last week! Kept track of my eating on most of those days, especially the day I took off (Saturday).

Water is just under 3L a day, and I want to be in the 3-4 range so I'd better work on that more!

Sleep has been pretty decent, sometimes hitting 6.5hrs since cat (my actual pet) is waking me up quite a bit. Otherwise I aim for 7-7.5 hours, which I feel best on :)

I could do much better in the vegetable department though, I wasn't great about grocery shopping last week and have mostly had spinach and onion, lol.

personal:

Keep an attitude of gratitude
Work on kindness, LISTEN to people, be sincere, make eye contact ...I caught myself not listening a few times this week
Smile more, force yourself to around family members (why is this so hard? I mean aside from my mom, lol)
Steer your OWN ship...do not focus on the uncontrollable, no matter what happens this week!! Stay focused, stay prioritized :)

CoochQuarantine · 2015-11-09T15:43:07+00:00

This past week I have worked on trying to respond in a more positive light when people say negative things to me. I tend to be more reflexive in my responses and not really seeing what people are actually trying to say over replying to the tone of their message. I have found that it is disarming to people when they don't get the expected reaction they were going for out of you. When you don't reply to their negativity they don't know how to handle that. It has been a great exercise in patience on my part.

I will say that I went out to dinner more than I should have and as such I kind of fell off my diet but I'm back on the wagon as of this morning so I hope to work on not making excuses

"oh we were at a restaurant I had to try their cornbread that has gotten so many great reviews"

"I am at my sisters so I have to eat her chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven"

I could have made better choices but chose to eat the things I shouldn't have and felt guilty afterwards. I'm letting go of that guilt and moving forward.

Littleknownfacts · 2015-11-09T16:01:10+00:00

So its been a few months since I've posted here and nearly a year since I was a regular. I figured I had learned everything I could from this subreddit (really what can you learn from reading your 100th 'how can i be more feminine' thread?), now it was time to apply what I learned and adjust it to my specific situation. But last week something terrible happened, I snapped at my boyfriend. It was brutal and degrading and I hated myself for it. And this wasn't just a one-off event, it happened again and again last week. At first I apologized and said it was stress, the second time it happened I blamed it on the hormones, the third time it happened I said something has to change. And so here I am. I've been rereading the same old threads and tired topics and everything that's you have posted since Thursday. And even though I'm not necessarily learning anything new, I think it's really helping me just to be around women with the rpw mindset. I haven't raised my voice to my boyfriend since. So thank you /r/redpillwomen for giving me a reminder I didn't know I needed.

Edit: forgot a word.

sunhappydc · 2015-11-09T16:34:32+00:00

my only contribution this week is that i need to work on being vulnerable and less guarded. baggage is real ladies.

Also, I may meet my guy's son this weekend so yay!

Eucalyptus-mint · 2015-11-09T18:16:07+00:00

Getting into late evening over near me so time to reflect!

I have been a busy bee the pas week between exercising and doing farm work plus general day to day stuff. I did not let my period affect me as much as it has in the past and I didn't use it as a crutch. Yes I slept a bit more and getting myself out of bed was tougher, but I got up and did things so my SO didn't have to come home and do farm work in the dark!
kept up with my exercise for the week and kept myself under my calorie count for the most part! I always thought I would hate calorie counting but I actually really enjoy it. I am going to get a kitchen scale so I can more accurately track things and I am so excited!
I kept my emotions under wraps for the most part. My period can make things screwy, but I'm lucky I have such an understand SO who just laughs and reassures me when my insecurities come out. He has figured out the pattern so he knows it's shark week that's making me think that way. I did make a few more jokes than necessary when he forgot to pick me up, but I realised my mistake and stopped that immediately.
I've been fairly neutral with his parents, but I want to be more positive. I am glad I am not being as negative with them than I was before, but I still want to improve!
This week I want to work on getting up earlier. finally clean out our wardrobe, and being a lot more positive in general!

jmc512 · 2015-11-09T17:06:16+00:00

I've realized my control has started itching up a notch and I want it completely off. I don't want to be a nag. In "Surrendered Wife", it says to just simply state what I want and go with whatever he says without questioning or criticism. He is my captain. He is a man who knows how to decide what is best for us and make it happen. I just need to worry less and keep my mouth shut! haha
I need to work on my self-confidence!! His ex is an ex for a reason. He is with me for a reason. His ex is beautiful, yes, but so I am in many different ways. There is no benefit in comparing us because it just makes me feel terrible! If I am to accept him the way he is, I must accept his past too. Everyone has a past, as I do too. We wouldn't be the people we are today without our past encounters with people. In a way, I should be thankful! He is a wonderful man. I'm learning to focus more on myself and self-improvement. These negative thoughts will only sabotage our relationship. I'm hoping time will help too.
I'm learning to be more feminine, as in feminine poise and manners. I'm trying to speak softly and be more gentle with my actions and thoughts.
I learned that I am hypersensitive to caffeine!!! Maximum 1 cup of tea a day LOL

whistling_dixie · 2015-11-09T18:56:24+00:00

I keep making progress and then falling back into bad habits. I do really well for awhile, and then I get moody and bitchy and snappish over what seems to be absolutely nothing. I'm meeting with a counselor for the first time this week in hopes to learn how to control my temper better, gain some stress management and coping skills (I deal with a lot of really sad stuff at work and it does weigh on me), and just overall have a reliable outlet to vent my work and family stress.

The situation with my family member has just continued to chase me down - another family member has obtained a restraining order against her, and I've been dodging calls, texts, emails, and FB messages for almost a week now. Recently learned she will somehow be staying out of prison, which is actually a bummer because I feel like she needs to answer for her actions.

SO and I discussed a lot of plans for the future over the weekend, so I have a good idea of what areas I need and want to improve in before we have kids. I also have decided that I need to finally make the trip to Ukraine to see a great friend of mine before we have kids - I haven't seen her in over a decade, and I know I won't get the chance to make this trip until I'm old once babies happen unless I do it now, so that's another goal to work towards. I'm a little leery of traveling by myself to a country where I don't speak the language, especially one in such a tense spot, but it's been a life goal of mine and the SO and I discussed it, so ....here we go!

cron-nin · 2015-11-10T02:21:41+00:00

New week and new musings.

I am actively trying to not be so much of a controlling nag or whatever. And I realize that it is just really hard. It's kind of discouraging to see that every nice thing that I have been doing has been negated simply because i couldn't hold my tongue.

Aside from that, I'm taking things slowly. I have been cooking recently. And trying to make sure there's always things to eat at all times. And making sure the house looks reasonable.

I just started playing with makeup again. I almost forgot how fun it was for me.

Oh, and I had a job interview today for my "big girl job" so there's that.

littleteafox · 2015-11-10T19:25:07+00:00

I need to stop obsessing over this guy I am attracted to in my martial arts class. I'm having a hard time reading him, and I think we both don't want to jeopardize the well-being of our group (we're pretty tight-knit and hang out together often, the last thing I'd want to do is introduce drama. Plus another girl also likes him, but he doesn't like her. AND another guy there likes me, but I don't like him. Typical, eh). If it's going to happen it will happen, in the meantime I need to keep my mind open to all possibilities, and just RELAX and don't make it weird.

I need to also watch my humor. I'm pretty good at being sweet, thoughtful, and kind. But I also have a very quick sense of humor and if it's a perfect "comeback" then I just say it without thinking. Even though I never intend it to be mean, and I believe it to be taken in jest, I would like to be more mindful of it since I can truly never know if it's coming across the way I intend it.

I bought a fancy new water bottle and it's helping me to increase my water intake, so yay for that :) I wanted to start running again this week, but my period really wipes me out, especially the first few days. I have 0 energy and 0 motivation to do anything at all. I wonder if there's a supplement or something I should be taking.

I'm doing really well on my new grocery budget! I changed how I plan my meals. I used to find a few recipes a week that I wanted to try, and then I'd make a shopping list based off of that. This would usually mean I'd have to go to Wegman's since they have such a large variety of stuff that I know I'd be able to find everything I'd need. Wegman's always = mo $$ for me. Instead, I've been going to Aldi's, which costs about 40% less, and buying whatever looks good there and then trying to find recipes based off of what I've already bought.

2015-11-12T06:00:35+00:00

Relationships:

Saw my mom and dad today. It was nice to catch up. Also saw my brother for a bit.

I miss my best friend and my sister but I'm tired of my sister NARCing on me to my parents when she finds things out. My brother can actually keep secrets so I talk to him more (way more).

I also miss my best friend. I worry about her. She broke up with her one and only of five years for some jerkoff and now that's "fizzling out" in her words (AWALT). It really bothers me she went on a date (although she won't call it that) with this guy will still being in a LTR. The fact her ex doesn't know she did that upsets me. I feel like the girls she hangs out with are pretty and educated, but don't understand redpill truths and it negatively effects her. Her one girlfriend thinks she is dating this rich business owner when she really is just a plate (not close enough to her to say that).

My other friend and I (the DJ) are planning a cruise to with our boyfriends! So I'm excited for that. She's so awesome. I don't click with a lot of women the way I just click with her. To be honest the only other girl I've ever really connected to as friends this much is my childhood best friend previously mentioned.

Finances: I was a little too swipe happy with my credit card so I'm paying that off and then going balls to the wall saving for my Roth-IRA.

Fitness: I've been pretty on track. No noteworthy changes.

Other: I'm pretty relaxed and life is going well. I'm just looking for some kind of passion. I'm thinking of starting a finance blog. I know this sounds ridiculous, but my generation of women has this influx of instagram models, bottle servers, breastaurant waitresses, etc. All that make their living in one way or another off of hustling their sexuality. The problem is these women have no common sense and no elders to talk to as this is a very new phenomenon (the way it is being done today, obviously women earning money off their looks is no new news). I feel like I was/am able to play the game correctly and have set up a nice life for myself and would like to share that knowledge. I have a theory if nothing changes most of these women will have nothing. Even good money (100k a year) is EASILY pissed away on women like that.

Also, I figure it would just include good financial advice for people in general (organizing a budget, etc).

Namshubophile · 2015-11-11T19:51:03+00:00

Last week felt a little weird. I am not sure where to start with it. This week, however, I'm focusing on the following:

Meal prepping and being sure to eat them. I prep awesomely healthy lunches and dinners a week at a time.
Housecleaning. It is one thing not to get around to housecleaning, but even worse when you just have so much stuff around the house. In addition to keeping up with the cleaning, I think I need to get rid of some stuff.
7 minutes of meditation daily. I struggle with getting this one in but I just gotta keep trying - it's important.
Supporting my man with making the coffee, bed, and green smoothies. These three things seem to bring a nice boost to his life, especially right now while he's working his butt off at a job he truly hates and trying to find a new one.

Hopefully this week goes better than last. Will let you know on Monday I suppose.

Title	Weekly Self-reflection Thread: 11/09/2015
Author	fhigurethisout
Upvotes	9
Comments	17
Date	November 9, 2015 2:42 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3s4ypy/weekly_selfreflection_thread_11092015/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/weekly-self-reflection-thread-11092015.85747 https://theredarchive.com/post/85747

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