I feel like I'm wasting my youth in college

StingrayVC · 2016-02-26T15:39:43+00:00

First, talk to your SO. You don't want to make a decision and then find out he's not on the same page.

Second, there is no shame in putting your family before your job/career. People will try to shame you for it, but if you feel shame for a decision you made, that's on you, not them. If you know you're doing what you truly desire, then you are making the right decision.

Look into the associates degree. It's worth the time. It may be worth the time to finish school if the two of you will need your income, but if you don't need it, you are just wasting more time.

As for my experience. I went to college and I got a graduate degree. I used it for five years in a job I didn't really like. Now I don't work and have no plans for work any time soon. Was it a waste of time? No, for the very simple reason that I met my husband in school. Other than that? It wasn't really worth it for me. I'm glad I went to a state school.

Again I'll say, talk to your SO. Make sure you are both on the same page. This is nothing to jump into.

ColdEiric · 2016-02-26T16:10:52+00:00

I have an undergraduate and a law degree and I feel like it was the biggest waste of 7 years of my life. I got them solely to make my parents happy. I never wanted a career at least not in law. I mean I have a job I love but it doesn't use either of my degrees.

TempestTcup · 2016-02-26T14:49:45+00:00

Do you have enough credits to get your Associates Degree? It won't be as useful as a Bachelors, but it's a degree, and might be worth looking into.

Have you talked to your SO about this? He probably has some good input on the subject.

always-be-closing · 2016-02-27T00:22:48+00:00

1) If you're not married, it's not a relationship around which you can actually plan this out. An engagement is, a marriage is - - a dating relationship where each partner can walk is not something you can plan to lead to children unless that's both of yours' plans.

2) Biology doesn't care about the post-Sexual Revolution World of the last 60 years. Your fertility is peak right now. It will start to decline in a few years, and remain viable until around 30, where it starts rapidly declining. After 35, you're very unlikely to naturally conceive and deliver more than one healthy child. After 40, you're unlikely to have any child without significant medical intervention, and the risk of birth defects will have skyrocketed.

3) You're going to be working the next 50 years of your life. It doesn't matter what you do; whether it's working at keeping a home and supporting yourself, working at a job, working at a part time job and supporting a family, keeping a home and supporting your husband, etc. No matter what, you are going to be working the next 50 years of your life.

4) Your value as a worker is something you will be continually building, with expertise, with experience, with a network, with past salaries in negotiation

Tl;Dr - Talk to your SO, plan out when they're no longer your SO, but your husband, or get to work on finding a husband (and doing what it takes to find a good one), and figure out fast what you want to do and when you want to do it, because biology will not wait for you, and the world will not let you stop aging, or requiring you work in it

trapped_in_a_box · 2016-02-26T15:36:44+00:00

I can't give you advice as much - this is a personal issue - but I chose to not finish my schooling and get married. Now I'm 34 and I graduate next semester with my associates and start nursing school in January. I did work for 12 years (medical billing) but I'm realizing how nice it will be to have a job that makes me completely self-sufficient of my SO if I needed to be (what if he gets hit by a bus?).

MonsteraDeliciosa · 2016-02-26T16:55:22+00:00

"Using your degree" is relative. My degrees are in history and horticulture. I don't "use" my history degree every day, but I will never regret it. I learned to read critically, write well, and to think about the world beyond my town and country. I also learned to stick with projects that I hate, deal with people I don't like, and to effectively communicate my beliefs and opinions. In the job market, a college degree can indicate all of those things to a potential employer-- I stuck to something hard, and I loved it. Billions of people acquired those same skills in other ways and have never regretted those decisions either.

I don't have specific advice for you, but college can be much more than career training. My husband would not have chosen me without that shared experience.

contortion · 2016-02-26T18:31:51+00:00

Don't underestimate your education's role in raising your family and maintaining your household.

2016-02-26T15:01:28+00:00

I'm with /u/TempestTcup. You should look into what credits you need to secure an Associates and have that. The truth is that in today's workforce, having some kind of postsecondary education makes a serious difference in earning potential -- should you ever decide to work after you start a family.

At 22, you're a grown woman. People will judge you for your choices but if you know yourself and are at peace with your decision, then please, live your life, have your family and be happy. Few will sit on their deathbed crying about those classes in college they didn't get the chance to sign up for.

FortuneGear09 · 2016-02-26T19:47:48+00:00

I am back in school to finish my degree I'm 29. If you want to stop I strongly urge you to finish up math or physics (if you are taking them). For me they have been very difficult to get back into, use it or lose it. If you already have all the calculus in your head just finish it now so you never need to come back to it.

PinkFloweryBranches · 2016-02-26T20:42:49+00:00

I feel the same way. I'll be 22 next month and have 2 years of school left. I don't have a bf/husband but I want to be a SAHM that homeschools her kids.

Thankfully, I have a meeting with my advisor, and I'm going to ask her if there's anything else I can major in so that I can get out of here already!

ETA: I like my part-time job as a bank teller and would like to do that until I get married and have babies.

CamusSeesSumac · 2016-02-26T21:37:00+00:00

Why not transfer to where he is?

I think having kids early can be a good model. I also think it's good for all women to have the ability to be financially self-sufficient.

tgeda2015 · 2016-02-28T15:20:47+00:00

Your degree will be your insurance policy. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

2016-02-29T01:49:58+00:00

You're 22 and you want to throw away your education to be a stay at home mom? Think of your future. What if he leaves you? Getting a college degree isn't hard.

2016-02-26T14:50:28+00:00

What does your SO say about it? You two have a plan together, which is one aspect of your post that you didn't talk about - if you asked him, what would he say?

souponastick · 2016-02-26T17:56:22+00:00

Maybe try for that associates degree. Credits normally become null/void after 10 years if you don't complete the degree. So you might have 117 credits for a 120 credit degree and wait 10 years and have to re-do everything if and when you decide to go back. Don't let the hard work you've already done fall if you can get the AA degree.

aanarchist · 2016-02-26T18:17:21+00:00

why not just take classes after moving to his city?

Title	I feel like I'm wasting my youth in college
Author	Smb9877
Upvotes	14
Comments	34
Date	February 26, 2016 2:21 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/47p792/i_feel_like_im_wasting_my_youth_in_college/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-feel-like-im-wasting-my-youth-in-college.86015 https://theredarchive.com/post/86015

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