How to handle beta orbiter moving in

pcadrian · 2013-12-08T15:23:35+00:00

Give her enough rope and see if she hangs herself with it.

What that means is basically do nothing. Pretend the male friend isn't there. All his chasing around and stuff isn't going to have much effect on her, unless you start acting insecure, which will drive her away from you and right into his arms. The only thing you can do is communicate how it's inappropriate for them to do be spending that much time alone or whatever they're doing. Do that, and see what she does about it. A good woman is not going to be doing that stuff anyway, so if she ignores your concerns, next her.

In the event that it does have an effect on her and she cheats on you with him, even if just emotionally, then again you'll know she wasn't the right girl for you. You wouldn't want to be with that kind of woman anyway.

TRPsubmitter · 2013-12-08T18:59:12+00:00

Based on your story, I'm not sure why you're concerned. He seems firmly entrenched in the friendzone.

He has had YEARS and years to get into her pants. He has failed. She is not an idiot (neither are girls in her same position) and know he is an orbiter. He makes her hamster feel good. He gives her validation. But you are the alpha fucks if your frame is right. Taking her to "dances" and "hanging out" is a beta death sentence. Do not be worried about that. He has had his chance and squandered it. Also, you can safely assume he has "confessed" multiple times to her and probably ended up like "heyyyy, well I care so much about you! I will make sure he treats you right!". Betazoned.

But you are right that any attempt to cut him out will disrupt your RP frame and make you seem threatened. Even though you are empircally NOT threatened by him, any semblance or impression that you feel threatened by him will make it reality for her. Perception = reality in non-logical sexual situations.

So keep your frame. Remind her that she belongs to you. Punish her if she gets out of line. You can be sure he is trying to undermine you behind your back as well: "Heyyy get home safe!...I just don't trust him!...I'm just looking out for you as a friend, don't get mad at me for that".

So the only "threat" you must worry about is a self-fulfilling prophecy: your obsession with him will lead to your downfall in which case he actually WILL steal your girl (Shakespearean tragedy!). Example: you overreact and get mad at him. This leads her to "seek out a friend" some night after drinking. She wants "a guy's perspective" and calls up the orbiter. She ends up fucking him. Although this won't change her view of him as a non-sexual entity and she won't suddenly view him as bf material, the damage will be done.

So maintain frame!

Pushnikov · 2013-12-08T16:18:17+00:00

You're double-thinking yourself into this. You should be looking for other experiences. No matter how much frame you control, the bottom line is you're too young to be worrying about one woman.

Most women are actually fine with their guy playing around if it keeps them in her life. It depends on the chick, but you'd be surprised how much you'll get. It takes more frame control with younger chicks until they see how it is pretty natural and non-threatening to them.

redpill_man · 2013-12-08T16:31:28+00:00

However, I also know that she'll perceive any attempt I make at vocalizing this as overbearing and controlling.

Man, listen to yourself. You're obviously very uncomfortable with her hanging out with this dude. Fucking tell her. Keeping that shit bottled up isn't helping anyone. If it was me I would have put my foot down on this situation long ago.

I'm not saying throw the relationship away. I'm saying if there is a situation you are uncomfortable with then you tell her. Put your foot down when necessary. She'll respect you for it.

adamwho · 2013-12-08T16:57:32+00:00

Your in college, don't take things seriously.
"Beta" and "alpha" are behaviors, not genetic traits.

Whyver · 2013-12-08T16:32:06+00:00

You could tease her about her biggest fan following her around for years and years but you'd have to pull it off with absolutely no bitterness or malice. You could ask her about the president of her fanclub or whatever. The biggest thing you could do is hang out with both of them and sort of put him on the spot and belittle him. Rough to pull off maybe but it would fucking crush if done right. And if you fuck it up, quite the learning experience.

2013-12-08T17:04:56+00:00

Oh my Christ "group dancing" - I think the cringeness and the chumpness of dancing in a circle (not with the girl you came with) overwhelmed my embarrassment drive and caused the beginnings of my awakening as I saw the difference between my friends doing that who will never stand up for themselves as men and then those who grab their girl's hand, say "this is incredibly stupid," and dance with her in front of the room.

I have a one itis friend who was fine with group dances and locked down the first ex cum dumpster 6 he could get to look at him. Married now...

drrrrrr · 2013-12-09T08:06:29+00:00

Don't worry about it if it's a beta orbiter. See, if he isn't a threat, aka a sexual possibility, then you getting stressed and making a big deal about it will enforce in her mind that "maybe he is a sexual possibility".

Just keep up. I have TOOOONNNNS of beta orbiters trying to horn in on my current LTR because she's at a predominantly male company. The secret is just let them be nice, and you just be the same old dick she fell for in the first place. She literally will not think of them as men if you're frame is strong enough. Some attempt to weasel in by doing the whole "I'll be your emotional-chat buddy, let's talk about relationships and give each other relationship advice". Chicks fall for that trap just like the fall for Drake - after a year of having alpha rap pumped into your head, it is kind of refreshing to have some soft beta music in your ear.

So if you see beta orbiters trying to horn in this way, just acknowledge it happening and laugh it off. She will only see him as a sexual candidate if you are insecure.

Listen man, college is a shitshow. If she fucks around, she fucks around. Don't worry about it, just be dominant and hope for the best, while simultaneously having a few girls in rotation to swing to if one girl winds up cheating. However your GF knowing that there's another chick waiting to jump you... will pretty much make it impossible for her to cheat.

LifterofThings · 2013-12-09T05:03:07+00:00

If they went to dances together "as friends", and have known each other for awhile without anything happening, I am 99.9% certain that nothing ever will happen (barring his becoming a multimillionaire or suddenly sprouting a body like Brad Pitt in Fight Club). Also, she doesn't make any proactive efforts to see him (according to your telling here)-- he puts in all the work.

Stop with the jealousy and suspicion-- it doesn't help anyway. If she's going to cheat, she's going to cheat, and no amount of policing her friends or vigilance over her communications is going to change that fact; all it's going to do is drive you crazy. There are no guarantees-- if she turns out not to be the loyal woman of integrity that you rightly expected she would be, entering into an LTR, walk away. There are plenty of fish in the sea, as it were.

CurveballSI · 2013-12-08T15:40:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

_lion_ · 2013-12-08T17:29:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

apotshot · 2013-12-08T23:49:04+00:00

Stick your dick in something else before she uses it to stab you in the heart.

Title	How to handle beta orbiter moving in
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	23
Comments	47
Date	December 8, 2013 3:03 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1sdy4n/how_to_handle_beta_orbiter_moving_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-to-handle-beta-orbiter-moving-in.8625 https://theredarchive.com/post/8625

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